Ryan McParland

Alistair Little: [to interviewer] Guilty if I laugh. Guilty if I drink. Guilty if I forget. How to get through a day. What to do in it. I wake up, I go out. But where to go? He's always there. In my head. And I don't know where to go. Where to put yourself after it all. It's the same for everyone. Some of us have found an answer. He's killed a few Catholics in his time. and now he's killing his own. Some protection thing to control the estate. Released after the Good Friday Agreement, he's on top of the world again, still living it, just like he always was, with his mates watching his back, breathing in the scent of his victories.

Alistair Little: If I had gone with him then, just said yes to him then... That's all I had to do, just tell him I was in. I know that isn't my answer, but what *is* my answer, you know? I sit in meeting rooms all over the world and I help men to live with what they've done to a wife, a child, a stranger, a neighbor - how to live with that act of violence. That's, you know, always there inside us. But I can't help myself. Sometimes I feel that this preacher is just the man I've become so that I can cheat my way through my life.