Thomas R. Baker

Dylan Mee: I get it now, okay? I get why you can't stand me!

Benjamin Mee: Okay. All right.

Dylan Mee: No. At least now I know the real reason why you hate me! Look, I heard you admit it to her! Like you were talking about cornflakes. You hate me!

[rushes up the stairs]

Benjamin Mee: I hate you? Wait second.

[follows Dylan]

Benjamin Mee: Okay, we've had some problems, man, but we've figuring it out, okay?

Dylan Mee: Oh, that is bullshit! Admit it! You wish I wasn't here! With that expression in my eyes? I heard you!

Benjamin Mee: Hold on! Enough with the drama, all right? Knock it off! You misheard me!

Dylan Mee: I can't stand it here! Look, can't you see that?

Benjamin Mee: No, but thank you for telling me, again! I keep forgetting, it's all about you!

[Dylan looks a little guilty]

Benjamin Mee: Why don't I just pack us up? We'll just go on the road together. We could be hobos.

Dylan Mee: Because you wasted all our money! Some of that belonged to me, Dad!

Benjamin Mee: I didn't waste our money. I thought you liked it here. And I'm sorry, I thought your friends would come out and visit you, man. I called them all myself and I invited them. And I'm sorry, I thought you and Lily were friends. I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought this was... I mean, I thought you liked me! I thought this was a dream come true for all of us.

Dylan Mee: It's your dream! You can't force a dream on someone else, Dad!

Benjamin Mee: Yes, I can, I can force a dream on you!

Dylan Mee: Why are you yelling?

Benjamin Mee: [exploding] Because it's a good dream! And it's got cool animals in it and some pretty great people, too!

[Dylan is now on the verge of crying]

Benjamin Mee: And because I'm your father and I'm the only one you've got! And the line of people in this world who really care about you ends here! So stop moping around this place, man! And pick up a shovel and dig a hole! Do something! You just sit here and feel sorry for yourself, man! Help me with your sister! Help me, damn it!

Dylan Mee: [now really crying] Help me, damn it! Help me!

[Benjamin and Dylan finally stop the argument to look at each other. Benjamin sighs]

Benjamin Mee: [calmer] I'm sorry that your mother got sick when she did. Believe me. I'm sorry that you didn't get more of a childhood, man. That's just how that one went. But we live here with a seven-year-old girl who still believes in the Easter Bunny. What are we gonna do?

Dylan Mee: You never ask me how I'm doing. You never even taught me how to shave.

[walks away into his room. Benjamin follows him]

Benjamin Mee: [through the door] Wait, you wanna know how to shave? I would love to teach you how to shave! Let's shave!

Benjamin Mee: What happened with you and Lily?

Dylan Mee: I don't know. I guess I didn't listen to something she told me or something? I mean, I liked her. It's like you embarrass yourself if you say something, and you embarrass yourself if you don't.

[Benjamin chuckles. Dylan smiles as well]

Benjamin Mee: I like it when you talk. You know, sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just, literally, 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

[Dylan looks thoughtful, but doesn't say anything for a while]

Dylan Mee: I never know what to say to you.

Benjamin Mee: I'm the same way. Why don't we just tell each other what we wish the other guy would say?

Dylan Mee: "I'm sorry I brought you out to the sticks."

Benjamin Mee: "You're a great dad."

[both Dylan and Benjamin laugh]