-
Ray Macguire: You're about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.
-
Ray Macguire: I know this place is closing down, but people are trying to eat their dinner. So listen, you yuppie twat, if you don't get out of here by the time I count to five, I'm going to shove that clipboard so far up your Aris that you'll have to stick your pen up your nose to write on it. One, two, three...
-
Eric: Those things are vampires! We need crucifixes, garlic, silver, holy water, and Christopher Lee!
Ray Macguire: No, you soppy tart, those things are fucking zombies!
-
Ray Macguire: So, where do we go now?
Terry: Out the front door.
Ray Macguire: Oh, for fuck's sake. That's great. Listen everyone, we've just been rescued by Laurel and fucking Hardy.
-
Andy: Got a steel plate in his head; injury from the Iraq war. The had to remove part of his brain.
Terry: Yeah, the part of your brain that keeps you from being fucking psychopath!
-
Andy: Piss off, you muppets!
-
Ray Macguire: Boys, boys. Now you're talking my language.
-
Andy: NO! Too much, fuckin' too much for one day. Surely!
-
Andy: What the fuck is going on?
Terry: I really don't know.
-
Katy: [after machine gunning a zombie who got on the bus] No ticket.
-
Katy: [as Mental Mickey shoots the zombie biting him] Shoot 'em in ee 'ead.
Mental Mickey: How do you know that?
Katy: Everybody knows 'at. 'ere I'll do it.
[Shoots zombie in head]
-
Mental Mickey: Suck my chocolate fucking dick!
Cockneys vs Zombies Quotes
Extended Reading
