Marmaduke Quotes

Marmaduke: This is my stepbro, Carlos. Say hey, Carlos.

Carlos: Hey, Carlos.

Marmaduke: He's pretty cool for a cat. Which helps, since he's kinda my only friend...

Marmaduke: I'm Marmaduke, by the way.

Mazie: Yikes. Immediately moving on...

Marmaduke: [a well-groomed Mazie arrives] You... you look amazing.

Mazie: I feel like a fluffy monstrosity.

Marmaduke: [Laying down in bed with Phil and Debbie] Wait for it... Wait for it...

[Marmaduke farts loudly]

Phil Winslow, Debbie Winslow: Marmaduke!

Phil Winslow: What did you eat?

Debbie Winslow: Ew!

Marmaduke: [Chuckles] I know it's juvenile, but it's all I've got. So there you have it. Day in the life of old Marmaduke here.

Debbie Winslow: This is really bad.

Marmaduke: Guys, I am sorry. T-that was - that was a little much, even for me. Bad Marmaduke. All right, enough. Lights out.

Marmaduke: [Ending scene, going to sleep with Phil and Debbie again]

[Whispering]

Marmaduke: Wait for it... Wait for it...

[Marmaduke farts loudly]

Phil Winslow: Oh, Marmaduke!

Debbie Winslow: Marmaduke!

Phil Winslow: What did you eat?

Carlos: Man, you got a serious problem.

Marmaduke: [laughs] It never gets old.

Marmaduke: Out here, the dog park is like high school for dogs. You got you're jocks and you're cheerleaders.

[cheerleader dog gets hit by a freebie: Freebie!]

Marmaduke: you're drama geeks.

[a cop pretends to shoot two dogs: Bang bang! they fall over. a dog in a hand bag: I've been in this for so long I can't feel my legs]

Marmaduke: And you're bully's, the pedigrees.

Bosco: Check out those ears, can you even fly with those things all what?

[Thunder and Lighting laugh]

Marmaduke: You think my ears are too big?

Carlos: Those things are huge. Do friends fly free?

Carlos: Hey let me out of here, I'm not a animal!

[after a long pause]

Carlos: Oh yeah, I am.

Phil Winslow: Come on, I feel like we're forgetting something.

Debbie Winslow: We have everything, but the furniture and the dog.

Phil Winslow: Look at him, he's just sitting there.

Debbie Winslow: I know.

Phil Winslow: You think he'll be okay here alone?

Debbie Winslow: I think he'll be fine. He's got food and water, and I'm having Laura from down the street look in on him.

Phil Winslow: Right, right. I mean what's the worst that could happen? He has a party? Invite his girlfriend over?

Marmaduke: [after they left the house] Yes and... yes!

Marmaduke: Chupadogra?

Chupadogra: Who are you and what are you doing here?

Marmaduke: Please don't hurt me!

Chupadogra: You're a big boy. Good. The small ones ain't got enough meat on their bones.

[he snarls at Marmaduke]

Marmaduke: Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry, I...

[he hears the dog in a coughing fit]

Marmaduke: Are you okay?

Chupadogra: I'm more than all right.

[he is still coughing]

Chupadogra: Sorry to bother you. Hey, what's a dog like you doing out here, anyways? You're no stray.

Marmaduke: I ran away from home.

Chupadogra: So, you think running's the answer? Huh?

Marmaduke: I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I acted like a big-shot and lost all my friends, my family.

Chupadogra: Listen, this bag of bones you're looking at used to be something special. I was the alpha dog. Left my home to go run the pack. And man, did I run it. Till they turned on me. Now I live out here alone dodging trains and dogcatchers. Rest assured, compadre, there ain't a day goes by when I don't think about waking up in a warm bed and spending the day with the folks who love me. The real me. Go home. Something tells me it ain't too late for the real you.

Marmaduke: Thank you, Buster.

Chupadogra: [he looks at his old bowl that reads Buster] Been a long time since anybody called me that. Thanks.

Pedigrees: [at Marmaduke's pool] Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump!

Golden Dog: I'm a golden dog!

[the golden retriever jumps into the pool]

Raisin: [deleted scene] Marmaduke. A unique synthesis of marma, the scientific name for the jumping spider family and the Duke of Marlborough, a 17th century English statesman. Am I right?

Barbara Winslow: [flashback; Marmaduke is looking at Barbara and Brian] Marmalade.

Brian Winslow: Duke.

Barbara Winslow: Marmalade.

Brian Winslow: Duke.

Barbara Winslow: Marmalade.

Brian Winslow: Duke!

Barbara Winslow: Marmalade!

Marmaduke: [back to the present] Yep, you nailed it!

Giuseppe: And before you ask, yes, I'm a real dog. No, I'm not a chew toy. And I just get a little nervous sometimes because we live in California. This is the land of the Puma!

Raisin: There are no pumas in Southern California.

Giuseppe: Pumas!

[whispering]

Giuseppe: They come out of nowhere.

Bosco: Anyone recognize this cute little fella? The cat from the park that Marmaduke hazed?

Carlos: Hola. I recommend the guacamole. It's dynamite!

Bosco: Look at the tail. Turns out he lives here with Marmaduke. Or is it Marmafake?

[the dogs look at Marmaduke]

Marmaduke: First of all, you're not invited here, Bosco. Leave now and take Whiskers with you. We have a no cat policy.

Carlos: Say what?

Bosco: Oh, is that right? Then how do you explain that picture over there?

[the dogs look at the picture of Marmaduke and Carlos]

Thunder: Haha! That was hilarious, Marmadonk!

Lightning: Yeah, you're not as good as Bosco but you took that fleabag to school!

Bosco: Oh, please. It was a cat. It's not like he killed it.

Thunder: No mercy, boss!

Lightning: Put him in a doggy bag!

Don Twombly: I'm just spitballing here but what if dogs could talk to each other?

Phil Winslow: I don't buy it.

Don Twombly: What if they could dance?

Jezebel: He gets this way when he drinks too much drainpipe water.

Mazie: He gets that way because he's a jerk.

Bosco: You watch yourself, tomboy.