Nacho Libre Quotes

Nacho: Don't you want a little taste of the glory? See what it tastes like?

Esqueleto: NO!

Sister Encarnación: Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favourite animal is puppies. I like serving the Lord. Hiking, play volleyball...

Nacho: You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said, is MY favourite thing to do, every day!

Sister Encarnación: Wrestling is ungodly Ignacio. People cheer for him... and he is a false idol.

Nacho: Whatever.

Señor Ramon: What is this?

Nacho: Leftovers. Enjoy.

Señor Ramon: There is no flavor. There are no spices. Where are the chips?

Nacho: Somebody stole them.

Señor Ramon: Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips?

Nacho: I was trying to!

Señor Ramon: You are useless Ignacio!

Elderly Monk: Silence brothers! This is the worst lunch I ever had.

Señor Ramon: Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?

Nacho: Ok... Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!

Nacho: I'm a little concerned right now. About... your salvation and stuff. How come you have not been baptized?

Esqueleto: Because I never got around to it ok? I dunno why you always have to be judging me because I only believe in science.

Nacho: Ok. Orphans! Listen to Ignacio. I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice piledrive to the face... or a punch to the face... but you cannot do it. Because, it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbour.

Chancho: So you've never wrestled?

Nacho: Me? No. Come on. Don't be crazy. I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the fancy creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fantastic! Go. Go away! Read some books!

Esqueleto: Summon your eagle powers.

Nacho: What do you think I'm doing?

Nacho: [Losing badly, about to take a big hit] Eagle powers... come to me! Please!

Esqueleto: Surpise.

[holding corn in both hands]

Nacho: Get that corn outta my face!

Nacho: Those eggs were a lie, Steven. A LIE! They give me no eagle powers! They give me no nutrients!

Esqueleto: Sorry.

Nacho: I don't want to get paid to lose. I wanna win!

Nacho: It sucks to be me right now!

Esqueleto: How come?

Nacho: How come you think? I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him! But it turns out, he's a real douche.

Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That's probably why we never win!

Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!

Chancho: Nacho! Where are you going?

Nacho: There is no place for me in this world. I don't belong out there, and I don't belong in here. So I'm going out into the Wilderness. Probably, to die.

Chancho: Well, you might need this

[Gives Nacho the sword]

Chancho: My mother gave it to me before she died. It was her lucky machete. You can have it.

Nacho: I hope to see you again little Chancho. Maybe in the next life.

[Departs]

Sister Encarnación: Where are your robes, Ignacio?

Nacho: They were... stinky. These are my recreational clothes.

Sister Encarnación: They look expensive.

Nacho: Thank you. I mean... they might have the appearance of riches, but beneath the clothes, we find a man... and beneath the man we find... his... nucleus.

Sister Encarnación: Nucleus?

Nacho: Do you remember when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse.

Esqueleto: Yea, and I saw them knock you unconscious, ok?

Nacho: These are my recreation clothes.

Sister Encarnación: They look expensive.

Nacho: Thank you.

Juan Pablo: How come we can't ever have just like a salad?

Nacho: Be grateful, Juan Pablo, today is especially delicious.

[takes a bite of the beans and chokes, it comes out of his nose]

Esqueleto: I hate orphans!

Nacho: Say it to my face!

Esqueleto: I hate them!

Nacho: Come again?

Esqueleto: I hate all the orphans in the WHOLE WORLD!

Nacho: Chancho! I need to borrow some sweats.

Chancho: Are you leaving us?

Nacho: No, Chancho, I would never leave you. I just need to borrow some sweats.

Esqueleto: How did you get up here so fast?

Candidia: Shh, shh, shhhh... secret tunnels

Nacho: Those guys were a couple of wussies, eh?

Esqueleto: They scalped my hairs, okay? I look hideous. And you gave them permission to hurt me like this.

Nacho: But I couldn't have anybody see my face, Steven. Come on!

[last lines]

Nacho: YES!

Orphans: Yay!

Nacho: [to Encarnacion] Yes.

Sister Encarnación: Ignacio, I have been looking all over for you, where have you been?

Nacho: I have been here. I have been sleeping.

Sister Encarnación: In a frilly shirt and slacks?

Nacho: They are my PJ's

Nacho: And over there in the tree, is a chipmunk nest. And that right there, is our corn, best in the city, it's delcious. And that is a crazy lady. So now you pretty much know what I do. Pretty dang exciting, huh?

Juan Pablo: Hey, it's Ramses. He's the best.

Chancho: No he's not.

Juan Pablo: Can I have his autograph? Please?

Nacho: Okay, I'll see what I can do.

Nacho: Uh, Ramses. I was wondering if the children could have a signiture or a picture or something?

Nacho: Listen, the children are orphans, they really love you. You are the best.

Nacho: [to Sister Encarnación] I don't like the way those guys just looked at you.

Nacho: [to innocent passers-by] HEY! Can't you see this woman is a nun?

Señor Ramon: Orphans, smile and be happy. For God has blessed us with a new teacher. She hails from the Oaxaca Parish Convent of the Immaculate Hearts Sisters Ladies Mountains of Guadalupe. Sister Encarnacion.

Sister Encarnación: Thank you Brother.

Nacho: [after lifting Esqueleto over the wall at Ramses party] What about me?

Esqueleto: I don't think I can lift you. You are too fat.

Emperor: In order for you to become empowered by the eagle, you must climb that cliff, find the egg, crack open one of them, and then eat the yolk.

Nacho: So, what you're saying to me is if I can eat this yolk, my moves will become the best in the whole world.

Emperor: Definitely.

Nacho: [holds hand up] High Five.

Nacho: How did you find me in the wilderness?

Esqueleto: I saw you from the village.

Sister Encarnación: You went to watch a wrestling match?

Nacho: [after a pause] Kind of.

Sister Encarnación: You are a man of the clothe. Lucha Libre, it's a sin.

Nacho: But, why?

Sister Encarnación: Because those men fight for vanity, for money, for false pride.

Nacho: Yes it's terrible, terrible. But is it always a sin to fight?

Sister Encarnación: No. If you fight for something noble, or for someone who needs your help, only then will God bless you in battle.

Nacho: I have given up wrestling.

Esqueleto: Nacho, you are great fighter. You've got something none of these guys have.

[Esqueleto points to his own heart]

Esqueleto: And the childrens need a real hero.

Nacho: I thought you hated all the orphans in the whole world.

Esqueleto: Not anymore. I like them. And they need you Nacho.

[Nacho nods and Esquelto takes out Nacho's fighting mask]

Nacho: [nods confidently] OK.

Nacho: You can take the stallion, I'll take the pony.

Esqueleto: I can't wrestle him.

Nacho: But you're tall and fast like a gazelle, you can do it. Pray to the Lord for strength.

Esqueleto: I don't believe in God, I believe in science.

Nacho: You have not been baptized?

Sister Encarnación: Can I come in?

Nacho: No, people might get the wrong idea about you... Like maybe you are a floozy.