Sublime Quotes

  • Mandingo: You ready for a little lesson? To be set free? For a dose of reality? First: the lesson. Do you know who I am? I told you my name, bitch. You forget that? I know you ain't forget that! Come on, you caucasian motherfucker! Say it while you still got a pair.

    George Grieves: [through his breathing tube] Mandingo.

    Mandingo: That's right. That's my name. But do you know who I am?

    George Grieves: [stammers unintelligibly attempting to reply]

    Mandingo: No, I mean in the metaphorical sense, motherfucker. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM?

    [leaps onto George's chest]

    Mandingo: I am the weight on your chest. I'm your cauchemar - your pesadilla - your Alptraum - your incubo, yo. I'm the morbid oppression of the night. I am the fear behind your left titty. I am the dark un-fucking-known.

    Mandingo: I'm the father of cool, and the king of jazz, and the porch-sitting watermelon-sucking brother who fucks up neighborhoods and breeds gangsters, and makes your dick feel small. I am mud-hut-building spear-chucking darkest Africa. I am the king of Egypt; grandpappy of ALL the sand-niggas.

    [shouts some middle-eastern words]

    Mandingo: The lord of 'they', 'them', and all them that be 'other'. I AM THE ARMY OF ISLAM!

    [weeping]

    Mandingo: I'm the sickle-cell yardape that's been fucking with your dosage. The jungle-bunny that's been guarding your drip... drip... drip... DRIP.

    [menacing]

    Mandingo: I am the medicine man. The spade digging your grave. The spook who goes bump in your night. I am the uppity field-nigger dancing in your end zone, and spiking your IV. I am Little Black Sambo. I am Lincoln's mistake.

    George Grieves: [flailing against his restraints, and gasping attempting to scream]

    Mandingo: Oh, I just been fucking with you, my little bleached brother! But now, you gon' face your fear. You won't be afraid NO more. I'm gon' set you free. I'm doing you a favor - a 'solid', George. Now, ain't it better to know that all the fears that go 'pitter-patter' in your flaccid fish-white belly are real? That you ain't just another white liberal guilt-ridden mo'w'fucker worryin' 'bout shit he DON'T understand?

    Mandingo: [whispering] The dark unknown's gon' cut you up! And when I'm done with you, you ain't gon' be a pussy NO MO!

  • Dr. Sharazi: [about to give a patient a colonoscopy] Welcome to the Outback Snakehouse.