The Dummy Quotes

  • Heidi: Because every klezmer band in town is booked and I desperately need a band. But if I hire you, you have to be willing to "hora". Is that a problem?

    Fannie: Oh man, at this point I'd fuck anyone.

  • [Family dinner, with Lorena and daughter as guests]

    Heidi: [to her mother, Fern] Why are you apologizing to her? She's an unwed mother.

    Fern: Well, better an unwed mother than just plain unwed.

  • Fannie: I bought a gift for you.

    Steven: Oh, no.

    Fannie: Actually, I lifted it from Borders. But it's perfect for your date. It's classical music.

    Steven: Oh, thanks!

    Fannie: Yeah, when you get Lorena alone, put this on. Classical music makes women horny. Just trust me on this one.

    Steven: Thanks. "Best of John Philip Sousa".

    Fannie: Yeah. Chicks dig it.

  • Fannie: You can fuck me if I'm wrong!

    Steven: No, That's okay.

  • Steven: I look both ways when I cross the street.

  • Heidi: [about Michael going in jail] Serves him right. I hope you rot there, fucking loser.

    Fern: Heidi! That loser was almost your husband!

    Heidi: Why can't you get it into your head he's a psychopath?

    Fern: I'm *sure* he is. But he's also a very successful accountant.

  • Fannie: D'you know our high school reunion's comin' up? Ten years... D'you know how depressing that is? D'you think I don't wanna slash my fucking wrists when I think about that? Goddamn it!

  • Fannie: Steven, you drive like my fucking grandma! Wait... that's actually an insult because my grandma drives better than you do!

  • Heidi: Steven?

    [Enters Steven's room and sees him in his underwear, with his dummy dressed as a child]

    Heidi: ... Gross! You look like a child molester!

  • Fannie: [after being thrown out for throwing a tantrum in a Target] Fucking suburbanized shit!

  • Fannie: Oh hey, what are you doing on the Fourth?

    Steven: I don't know.

    Fannie: 'Cause I just ordered some kick ass fireworks. Like, even the chinks are scared of this shit.

  • Steven: What about the little girl?

    Fannie: Look, don't worry, alright. Worst case scenario it's her kid, alright, at least you know she puts out.

  • Lou: [Loudly, after Heidi smashes his model battleship] You're grounded.

  • Lorena: I have a daughter Steven, you have a dummy.

  • Bonnie: He would be a great brother.

    Lorena: Who? Steven?

    Bonnie: No, the dummy.

  • Steven: I've been in love with you ever since I sat on my glasses.

  • Fern: Are you Jewish?

    Lorena: No, I'm Italian.

    Fern: Same thing.

  • Lou: You sniffin' my airplane glue, too?

  • Fern: You know Lou, when you have kids to raise, you yell.

  • Heidi: I wanted to sing. And you made me feel like a fool.

    Fern: Honey, it's not my fault if you felt like a fool. I *always* supported you. I only wanted you to be more realistic.

The Dummy

Director: Greg Pritikin

Language: English,Yiddish Release date: July 4, 2003

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