The King and the Clown Quotes

  • Jang-sang: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

    [From subtitles]

    Jang-sang: You have the wrong man. I wrote it. He's innocent. The audacity of it has my signature all over it. After all, it was by audacity that I got in the palace.

    Nok-su Jang: You're making this up!

    Jang-sang: Well, well.

    [Stands up defiantly in front of the King and Nok-su]

    Jang-sang: A whore and her tongue's work is never done.

    Nok-su Jang: How DARE you!

  • Pal-bok: [From subtitles] Isn't she the King's Consort?

    Chil-duk: Sure is. What on earth is that woman doing?

    Pal-bok: People say, she a lady now but she still shits like a horse. So then the rumors were true after all!

  • [From subtitles]

    Gong-gil: [atop a tightrope] To be up here, away from the bustle, my legs like wings would spread.

    Jang-sang: [from below] Ahoy! What is that flower in full bloom I see yonder?

    Street musician: Dost thou not recognize the one and only?

    Jang-sang: So it is! The one and only! With rose petal'd lips. O Friend, beat thee thy leather while I go pick the flower.

    Gong-gil: [watching Jang-sang ascend the tightrope] My, my, there comes a fool, rash and proud! Never knew a fool who knew his place!

    Jang-sang: Ho! A tongue most untamed! Master of this house am I, come to bait thee!

    Gong-gil: A gallows-hung scoundrel is what I see with an ill-fitting coat to hide his sores!

    Jang-sang: Oh thorny Rose, is thy iris closed for me? Open them, and see as I walk the Master's gait. Oh, really!

    [Jang-sang precariously walks across the tightrope]

    Jang-sang: [finally reaching the other side] Good heavens! Me thought it would be a mere hop and a skip but t'was longer than a runny trip to the outhouse!

    Gong-gil: [having climbed down] Master gait, master bait, either way strains the balls!

    Jang-sang: And now, a fornicating wench, running off upon being surprised. 'Tis thy own form, saucy wench.

    [Jang-sang quickly walks back across the tightrope again]

    Gong-gil: I was expecting to see thee fall and crack thy frame. But not bad!

    Jang-sang: Indeed, gifted are my two legs, but it is my third that has true genius - and thou shall see it this night!

    [Jang-sang performs acrobatics on the tightrope]

    Blackhat: Master wants to see you.

    Gong-gil: Thy twin eggs, are they cracked yet or just in the crack?

    Jang-sang: [as the crowd laughs] Safely in the crack, plugging my bunghole! But now, I must drain my bladder. I gotta pee before I continue!

    Gong-gil: Why, you dirty boor! So then, let's try it on for size!

    Jang-sang: Good idea! I shall oblige!

  • Jang-sang: Kingly is he who struts for a while, then exits in style.

  • Jang-sang: [From subtitles] In front of a cunt, every man kneels.

  • Yuk-gab: [From subtitles] Someone grabbed my balls, thinking I really had none. It scared the shit outta me!

  • Chil-duk: [From subtitles] What the hell is going on? Every time we do a show, people end up dead!

  • Archer: [From subtitles] By selfless sacrifice ministers have built this kingdom, yet you invite gutter rats to mock us.

  • Jang-sang: [From subtitles] From up here, even the palace looks no better than a hovel! In a world full of scoundrels, only here did I meet the nastiest of them all. Ho! And the foul things he would do! Will you hear this tale then? As the gods kill us for their sport, so would he. He killed more souls than there are tiles on these roofs. His lust insatiable, even 2000 virgins were not enough. Why, his pecker was this big. No, THIS big! With it he skewered clam after virgin clam. And when he got tired of girls, he wasted no time mounting a boy. Whoever pleased his one-eyed snake was given delicacies and silk robes - and a title to boot!