The Last Days of Disco Quotes

Charlotte Pingress: I'm sorry, its just that you're so terrific, it makes me sick to think you might get in that terrible situation again where everyone hated you.

Alice Kinnon: Hated me?

Charlotte Pingress: You're wonderful. Maybe in physical terms I'm a little cuter than you, but you should be much more popular than I am. It would be such a shame if what happened in college should repeat itself.

Josh Neff: A lot of people like to say they won't take no for an answer. I just wanted you to know that I'm not one of them; I can be easily discouraged. I *will* take no for an answer.

Alice Kinnon: Okay. No.

Josh Neff: You don't mean that?

Alice Kinnon: No.

[Smiles]

Jimmy: There's something deeply ingrained in human biology: women prefer bad over weak and indecisive... and unemployed

Josh Neff: I don't know about that.

Jimmy: You think they do prefer weak, indecisive, and unemployed?

[Josh describes Lady and the Tramp]

Josh Neff: [referring to Lady and the Tramp] There is something depressing about it, and it's not really about dogs. Except for some superficial bow-wow stuff at the start, the dogs all represent human types, which is where it gets into real trouble. Lady, the ostensible protagonist, is a fluffy blond Cocker Spaniel with absolutely nothing on her brain. She's great-looking, but - let's be honest - incredibly insipid. Tramp, the love interest, is a smarmy braggart of the most obnoxious kind - an oily jailbird out for a piece of tail, or... whatever he can get.

Charlotte Pingress: Oh, come on.

Josh Neff: No, he's a self-confessed chicken thief, and all-around sleazeball. What's the function of a film of this kind? Essentially as a primer on love and marriage directed at very young people, imprinting on their little psyches the idea that smooth-talking delinquents recently escaped from the local pound are a good match for nice girls from sheltered homes. When in ten years the icky human version of Tramp shows up around the house, their hormones will be racing and no one will understand why. Films like this program women to adore jerks.

Bernie Rafferty: So you don't know anything about this investigation.

Des McGrath: No!... Well, a sort of *acquaintance* of mine who now works in Morgenthau's office approached me, but... I didn't tell him anything.

Bernie Rafferty: You didn't tell me about that.

Des McGrath: I didn't think it was important, it only just happened.

Bernie Rafferty: When?

Des McGrath: Tonight - just now.

Bernie Rafferty: Why did you use the past perfect, then?

Des McGrath: I used the past perfect?

Bernie Rafferty: Yeah: "I was approached." It sounds like a while ago.

Alice Kinnon: I think it's much better to wait until things happen naturally. Forcing things never works.

Charlotte Pingress: That's not true. Forcing things usually works beautifully.

Alice Kinnon: That's odd he knew I drank vodka tonics. I never told him.

Des McGrath: It's uncanny.

Alice Kinnon: You mean it's a complete cliché? All women recent college graduates drink vodka tonics, or something like that?

Des McGrath: Well, maybe.

Alice Kinnon: [to Charlotte] So, Jimmy thinks I'm a total cliche?

Charlotte Pingress: I ordered a Vodka tonic too. So what? You're plenty original without having to order something weird to drink.

Des McGrath: Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. Can I get you another?

Alice Kinnon: Thanks. Actually, if you don't mind, I think I'd prefer - um - a whiskey sour.

Des McGrath: [indicating Van] I tease him a *little* bit...

Bernie Rafferty: No teasing, Des.

Des McGrath: No *teasing*?

Des McGrath: Do yuppies even exist? No one says, "I am a yuppie," it's always the other guy who's a yuppie. I think for a group to exist, somebody has to admit to be part of it.

Dan Powers: Of course yuppies exist. Most people would say you two are prime specimens.

Charlotte Pingress: You're not fit to lick the boots of my real gay friends.

Des McGrath: Well, I don't *want* to lick the boots of your real gay friends.

Jimmy: You know this is the way people used to dance in bars in the old days.

Charlotte Pingress: Did people ever really dance in bars? I thought that was a myth.

Jimmy: People my older brothers age, they did.

Charlotte Pingress: Your brother must be a lot older. Before disco, this country was a dancing wasteland. You know the Woodstock generation of the 1960s that were so full of themselves and conceited? None of those people could dance.

Josh Neff: Take The Tortoise and the Hare. Okay, the tortoise won one race. Do you think that hare is really going to lose any more races to turtles? Not on your life.

Alice Kinnon: I like that tortoise.

Josh Neff: So do I. But if you were a betting person, would you say, "That tortoise won against the hare; in future races I'm backing him"? No. That race was almost certainly a fluke and afterwards the tortoise is still a tortoise, and the hare a hare.

Dan Powers: You know, Alice, except for politics, we've got a lot in common: We're both pretty serious, and, I think, respect each other's bases for judgment. Occasionally I get reactionary thoughts, too.

Alice Kinnon: I'm not reactionary.

Dan Powers: Well, aesthetically.

Alice Kinnon: Oh, well - *aesthetically*.

Alice Kinnon: If when making love, the man... *spurts*... outside the woman, does that count as sexual intercourse?

Tom Platt: "Spurts"?

Alice Kinnon: If it... *squirts* outside, without getting in... does that count as losing your virginity?

Tom Platt: No part of the man got in at any time?

Alice Kinnon: I don't think so.

Tom Platt: I think part has to get in to be considered sexual intercourse.

Alice Kinnon: So then I was a virgin.

Alice Kinnon: I love the company! They've been so great to us there.

Dan Powers: Well, I don't know; we were exploited. But they were nice about it...

Josh Neff: Disco will never be over. It will always live in our minds and hearts. Something like this, that was this big, and this important, and this great, will never die. Oh, for a few years - maybe many years - it'll be considered passé and ridiculous. It will be misrepresented and caricatured and sneered at, or - worse - completely ignored. People will laugh about John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, white polyester suits and platform shoes and people going like *this*

[strikes disco pose]

Josh Neff: , but we had nothing to do with those things and still loved disco. Those who didn't understand will never understand: disco was much more, and much better, than all that. Disco was too great, and too much fun, to be gone forever! It's got to come back someday. I just hope it will be in our own lifetimes.

[Des, Charlotte, Dan, and Van stare at Josh like he's crazy]

Josh Neff: ...Sorry, I've got a job interview this afternoon and I was just trying to get revved up, but... most of what I said, I, um... believe.

Des McGrath: 'Yuppie scum'? In college, before dropping out, I took a course in the propaganda uses of language; one objective is to deny other people's humanity, or even right to exist.

Jimmy: In the men's lounge someone scrawled 'kill yuppie scum'.

Des McGrath: Do yuppies even exist? No one says, "I am a yuppie," it's always the other guy who's a yuppie. I think for a group to exist, somebody has to admit to be part of it.

[first lines]

Alice Kinnon: I hear you have a much better chance of getting in if you come by cab.

Charlotte Pingress: You're really worried about getting in?

Alice Kinnon: Yes.

Charlotte Pingress: I thought you've been here several times before.

Alice Kinnon: Not the front way. They were private parties. We came in through the back.

Charlotte Pingress: We look real good tonight. I'm sure we're gonna get in.

[Alice and Charlotte round the corner and see a large crowd waiting outside the Disco Club]

Alice Kinnon: [beat] Let's get a cab.

Charlotte Pingress: Yeah.

[last lines]

Des McGrath: One of the things that makes me happy in life is knowing I don't envy anyone. I don't want to be anyone else or do anything that I want to do... which of course right now is nothing now that I'm unemployed, but I have good projects for the future. Can I speak honestly?

Charlotte Pingress: Yeah.

Des McGrath: You and I are similar. We both got big personalities. That's good. What the world really needs is more big personalities. Perhaps ours burn too brightly, or are too big for people with normal healthy sized personalities like Alice. Or people with abnormal sized personalities like Josh. Or the itsy bitsy teeny wienie little polka dot bikini sized personalities like Jimmy Steinway.

Charlotte Pingress: That's why I'm confident that I will ultimately be successful in television.

Des McGrath: Absolutely. You see, one of the problems of finding the right person and settling down is that it takes all the fun and interest out of going to nightclubs. I mean if you are already living with somebody, why bother going out? Getting seriously involved with someone really just means ruining your nightlife. What I mean to say is... Jimmy, Alice, Josh... so what? That's what I say.

Charlotte Pingress: I think I agree with you.

Des McGrath: Nina! Its not what you think. I - I think I'm gay.

Nina: What? Its not possible. How?

Des McGrath: Its always been there, I guess. I've only begun to acknowledge it, now.

Nina: You really think you're gay?

Jimmy: Hey, how you been?

Alice Kinnon: Fine. How are you?

Josh Neff: [Jimmy doesn't answer] He's really depressed.

Charlotte Pingress: Oh, isn't this place great!

Josh Neff: Its fantastic! I love it.

Bernie Rafferty: I don't want a lot of ad people in the club, particularly not this guy.

Des McGrath: Well, I didn't let him in. If Van didn't either, then he's not in the club.

Bernie Rafferty: Did I ever tell you my first job was in advertising at Y&R? In those days the big thing was to be nice to everybody - to the secretaries, to the media department, to the art director, to the client.

Des McGrath: Well, I don't think its that way now.

Bernie Rafferty: I don't care. I don't want that element in the club.

Alice Kinnon: There's Jimmy Steinway. I can't believe it. He's already leaving?

Charlotte Pingress: You like him? I could never be interested in anyone who worked in advertising.

Josh Neff: I was just starting law school when the first uptempo Philadelphia International hits broke out. Some people don't consider that disco because its good. But, I remember feeling absolutely - electrified.

Tom Platt: You feel electrified often.

Josh Neff: No, but this was different. I love the idea that there'd be all these great places for people to go dancing after the terrible social wasteland of our college years.

Tom Platt: You've been to a lot of discos?

Josh Neff: No. In fact, practically none. For me, law school wasn't easy and I haven't had much of a social life since coming to the City, either. But, I still consider myself a loyal adherent to the disco movement.

Tom Platt: It's a movement?

Charlotte Pingress: Its too bad we weren't closer friends in college. I think I could have really have helped you there. For most guys, sexual repression is a turn off.

Alice Kinnon: You're saying this for my benefit?

Charlotte Pingress: You're a good conversationalist; but, there's something of the kindergarten teacher about you. Which is really nice; but, the guys you like also tend to be on the ethereal side and get pretty far away from any physicality.

Tom Platt: This is supposed to be good for cigarette mouth. Do you smoke?

Alice Kinnon: When I drink or go out at night, I smoke. I live dangerously - on the edge. I'm no kindergarten teacher.

Alice Kinnon: We don't even have an apartment. How can we have a dinner party?

Charlotte Pingress: Well, its another incentive to get one.

Alice Kinnon: Do you really think we know each other well enough to move in together?

Charlotte Pingress: Well, maybe that's good.

Alice Kinnon: Its not just that we don't know each other well. I'm not even sure we really like each other.

Charlotte Pingress: That's okay. You know, Alice, I'm not so much of a bitch as I seem.

Dan Powers: Disco sucks!

Charlotte Pingress: [to Alice] What a dope.

Dan Powers: Actually, I was thinking I'd go home.

Holly: What?

Alice Kinnon: You should come.

Dan Powers: I don' t know. I'm not really a disco type.

Charlotte Pingress: Well, who is?

Dan Powers: I probably wouldn't get in, anyway.

Charlotte Pingress: Of course you'll get in. Holly's gorgeous!

Des McGrath: Its women like you whose attitudes towards men are so dehumanizing.

Charlotte Pingress: Like what?

Des McGrath: That men are swine, obsessed with large breasts and the sex act, devoid of any idealistic romantic sensibility. When, in fact, we have that idealistic sensibility, in spades. For instance, you have no idea what men really think about women's breasts.

Alice Kinnon: What do men think about women's breasts?

Des McGrath: Well, its not just something you blurt out. Its far more complicated and nuanced.

Charlotte Pingress: I am hardly a militant feminist.

Des McGrath: No, you're not. A militant feminist would be a lot fairer.

Des McGrath: I'm sorry. I know why you're so upset. I mean, I know what really happened with Tom.

Alice Kinnon: What?

Des McGrath: That he thought you were really slutty or something. That's so stupid!

[Alice runs to a cab and Des chases after her]

Des McGrath: You can't worry about what misinterpreters think. That's so unfair. Come back to my place, we should talk. There, nothing will happen. I just need somebody to talk to. Maybe you do too.

[Alice slams the cab door shut]

Charlotte Pingress: Its very aggressive. You don't clomp around banging pans for no reason.

Alice Kinnon: Like what reason?

Charlotte Pingress: You know perfectly well.

Alice Kinnon: Because I only bang pans?

Charlotte Pingress: Well, frankly, that's not what I heard.

Charlotte Pingress: Alice is not having a cocktail? I can't believe it.

Alice Kinnon: Well, I'm not.

Charlotte Pingress: What is it? Do you have strep throat or something you are taking antibiotics for? Oh my God, you have the clap! Don't you?

Des McGrath: I could be gay.

Nina: If you think you're gay, you're gay. Tell me honestly, have you had sex with men?

Des McGrath: Well, that's defining it rather narrowly.

Van: The new owners couldn't make it work. They had to hire people to stand outside and pretend that they couldn't get in. Anyway, disco's over, it's dead.

Josh Neff: What do you mean?

Van: Well, people just don't go out like they used to. They're tired. Some are sick, strung out. Its not just the prosecutions and all the owners that Bernie squealed on.

Charlotte Pingress: Could part of it be related to the herpes epidemic?

Van: Maybe. I've got a friend at Casablanca Records and Tapes and she said that like two months ago the bottom dropped out of all disco record sales. Suddenly, it's - dead. Over.

Josh Neff: God, it's sad.

Des McGrath: We're getting older. We've lived through a period that's ended. It's like dying a little bit.

Des McGrath: Ever since I was six years old or so, I sensed I was somehow - different.

Diana: Then, every time you made love to me, you must have wanted to vomit!

Des McGrath: No, no, no. You're beautiful. You don't have to be some sweaty, horny, hetro, he-ape to admire and appreciate female beauty. Only very, very recently did I come to the final realization.

Diana: Exactly when did the final realization come?

Des McGrath: Two days ago. I get up late and usually turn on the TV sort of a reflex. Wednesday afternoon there was a rerun of "Wild Kingdom" - Mutual Omaha's nature program with Marlon Perkins. And that - attractive, younger guy - it triggered something. Suddenly, everything fell into place. I'm gay - and always have been.

Diana: You only found out you were gay on Wednesday?

Des McGrath: Only then, definitively. Wednesday was - gay day, for me.

Charlotte: Do you like nightmares?

Alice: No.

Charlotte: Well, I do. It's not obviously connected, but... I think that's what made me a little bit more tolerant of the guys at Hampshire.

Alice: What do you mean?

Charlotte: You were a bit critical. The guys there preferred women more laid-back.

Alice: I'm laid-back.

Charlotte: [scoffs] Well, for whatever reason, you didn't have much of a social life there.

Alice: I had a social life. Just not one of those terrible pretend marriages. The Hampshire guys were jerks. Hippie-dippie suburbanites with all this hair. And extremely dim intellectual interests. I'm sorry, I don't consider the guy who wrote the Spider-Man comics a serious writer.

Charlotte: Alice, one thing I've noticed is that people hate being criticized. Everyone hates that. It's one of the great truths of human nature. I think It's why my parents got divorced. I'm sorry, It's just that you're so terrific, it makes me sick to think you might get in that terrible situation again where everyone hated you.

Alice: Hated me?

Charlotte: You're wonderful. Maybe, in physical terms, I'm a little cuter than you, but you should be much more popular than I am. It'd be such a shame if what happened in college repeated itself.

Alice: Why would it repeat itself?

Charlotte: You're right. I just think it's so important to be in control of your own destiny. Not to fall into that 50's cliche of waiting by the phone for guys to call. The right ones never do. Those who do, you have to make the most ridiculous excuses to. The nice ones get hurt feelings and hate you. The jerks eventually corner you into going out anyway. And one night you find yourself with some awful guy with disgusting breath thrusting his belly up against you, trying to put his slobbering tongue in your mouth. Ugh! Thank God this is a whole new era in music and social models.

[looking out over the dance floor from the balcony:]

Charlotte: We're in complete control. There are a lot of choice out there.

Alice: We don't even have an apartment. How can we have a dinner party?

Charlotte: Well, it's another incentive to get one.

Jimmy: There's no chance of you getting infatuated with me again, is there?

[Alice doesn't answer]

Jimmy: Just had to confirm that.