Welcome to Mooseport Quotes

  • Grace Sutherland: [after kissing Monroe] That was no handshake, you son of a bitch.

  • Sally Mannis: I am not stronger than you, I'm a girl.

    Handy Harrison: Exactly so it hurts both physically and emotionally.

  • Sally Mannis: What does it matter what color my underwear are?

    Handy Harrison: It's an unconscious indicator of your subconscious intentions.

  • Sally Mannis: Are you doing the plumbing for the whole town now?

    Handy Harrison: No I came to see you.

    Sally Mannis: Through the drain?

  • Handy Harrison: Hold on, I got you something.

    Sally Mannis: Dirt?

    Handy Harrison: [Takes the dirt from the ring] It's dirty but ...

    Sally Mannis: Oh.

    Handy Harrison: Look I dont know how you feel.

    [Sally kisses Handy]

    Handy Harrison: Is that a "Yes" kiss?

    Sally Mannis: Yes

    [Sally kisses Handy again]

    Handy Harrison: It's dirt now, but... It's really beautiful.

    Sally Mannis: It's beautiful.

    Handy Harrison: It's big and - Thats not just one diamond, theres diamonds on the side

    [Sally laughs. Handy places the ring on her finger]

    Handy Harrison: It's diamonds and mud. Oh did I say in the speech - ? I forgot the whole part about how much I love you. I didn't say it, but - Yes, I didn't - you know, theres no - I didn't make a word thing out of it, but you can't even measure it. It's like - like, if you take all the sun - You can take all the heat from the sun and you - If you put all of that heat into a love container, you ...

    Sally Mannis: [Grabs Handy's face and playfully slaps his cheek] Got it.

    Handy Harrison: You got it?

    Sally Mannis: Yes

    Handy Harrison: But you said yes anyway. So this is all extra. Like a bonus to it.

  • Monroe Cole: [Monroe regarding a telephone talk with his embittered and greedy ex-wife who is demanding more of his fortune] Seven million!

    Grace Sutherland: It's a negotiation.

    Grace Sutherland: You've handled dictators. You've handled terrorists.

    Monroe Cole: Terrorists were easier, I swear to God!

  • Handy Harrison: [Sound of flushing of a toilet at Monroe Cole's house; Handy Harrison emerges out of the bathroom in front of astounded ex-president] I'm all done in here.

    Handy Harrison: [Realizing that was double-entendre] I mean, I'm done fixing it.

    Handy Harrison: That flushing you heard - that's work-related, not personal.

  • Handy Harrison: There's supposed to be a meteor shower at eleven. That could be cool.

    Sally Mannis: It'll have to be another time.

    Handy Harrison: Oh, it's not gonna happen for 240 years. Oh, okay, I'll pencil that in.

  • Monroe Cole: I had dignity once. Does anybody remember that?

  • Bert Langdon: We'll find dirt. Even if we have to make it up.