You can't choose pain, but you can choose attitude

Nick 2022-04-20 09:01:41

Every individual is destined to die from birth, and is destined to experience various ailments. The ailments experienced by each person are not similar, and they cannot be chosen by themselves. Some people resist it and escape it, trying to brutally expel it from their own bodies; some people accept it calmly, without any resistance, and wait for it to declare its destiny; some people accept it while loving themselves and slowly remove it from their bodies. Some people know that some illnesses cannot be removed, so they open their hearts to get along with them, and live a simple and pure day.
Alice in "Still Alice" has a successful career and a harmonious family, but suffers from early Alzheimer's disease due to her father's inheritance. She is a linguist and she has to accept the upcoming memory disorder and language disorder… Originally with a good memory, she suddenly forgot her words during the speech and would get lost. She started to set up questions on her mobile phone for herself to answer, and forgot the practice of bread pudding, which was her daughter's favorite food. In the later period, she forgot more and more things. What has already been asked will be asked over and over again.
When he first told her husband, he reassured her that it would be alright, she interrupted him roughly, and she said loudly that she knew how she felt, and she couldn't help crying as she spoke. Even through the screen, I can feel her inner despair. Because of her great achievements, she can't accept her appearance of dementia, not to mention, she is really young.
After the diagnosis, her husband was responsible for taking care of her. Even if he was very careful, patient, and thoughtful, even if she tried hard to remember some things, the speed of her degeneration was still beyond their expectation. In the past, her clothes were well-dressed and her makeup was exquisite, her skin condition was comparable to that of a little girl, and her hair was well-groomed. After that, she seemed to be aging very quickly, with fine lines and age spots on her face, her hair in a messy state, and her eyesight. Slowly become sluggish. She hated herself in the mirror, so she put toothpaste on the mirror like a child.
When she was less ill, she gave a speech as a linguist who is also an Alzheimer's patient, saying that although the disease had made them hilarious and inept, they were not. You can still choose to live in the moment as much as you can. This should be the best attitude we can think of: don't blame yourself for your own performance, don't be ashamed of your performance, and have something you love and put your energy into even if it doesn't exist in our memory later.
Later, she saw the video she recorded for herself when she was diagnosed. Alice in the video told her to find the bottle of medicine in the drawer, drink it, and then go to sleep. Her memory was so bad that she ran around watching the video and talking. In the process of how to do it, she finally found the medicine, but when she was about to eat it, she was interrupted by the nanny, and the medicine was scattered all over the ground. It was also fortunate that her memory was so poor that she saved herself from her own hands. The original intention of recording this video was to leave this world decently and not burden her family, but she did not expect that she would not be able to complete this "mission" in the later period.
Her husband couldn't take care of her because of his work, and in the end, it was her younger daughter who didn't want to go to college and was obsessed with drama performances to take care of her. Before she got sick, she persuaded her to pursue further studies, and the two parted ways. After she got sick, she said she wanted to see her graduate from college. The least "obedient" is probably because her actions are not approved by her parents, and drama acting is not a real career in her mother's eyes. She, who is the most incompatible with this family, shoulders the heavy responsibility of taking care of her. In the last scene of the film, she does not rely on other things, but tells her stories to make her feel loved.
In the face of illness, many words seem pale and powerless. Some illnesses can be saved by money, while others cannot. You can't choose what kind of pain you will suffer, but you can choose your attitude.

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Extended Reading

Still Alice quotes

  • Dr. Alice Howland: Good morning. It's an honor to be here. The poet Elizabeth Bishoponce wrote: 'the Art of Losing isn't hard to master: so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.' I'm not a poet, I am a person living with Early Onset Alzheimer's, and as that person I find myself learning the art of losing every day. Losing my bearings, losing objects, losing sleep, but mostly losing memories...

    [she knocks the pages from the podium]

    Dr. Alice Howland: I think I'll try to forget that just happened.

    [crowd laughs]

    Dr. Alice Howland: All my life I've accumulated memories - they've become, in a way, my most precious possessions. The night I met my husband, the first time I held my textbook in my hands. Having children, making friends, traveling the world. Everything I accumulated in life, everything I've worked so hard for - now all that is being ripped away. As you can imagine, or as you know, this is hell. But it gets worse. Who can take us seriously when we are so far from who we once were? Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences change other's perception of us and our perception of ourselves. We become ridiculous, incapable, comic. But this is not who we are, this is our disease. And like any disease it has a cause, it has a progression, and it could have a cure. My greatest wish is that my children, our children - the next generation - do not have to face what I am facing. But for the time being, I'm still alive. I know I'm alive. I have people I love dearly. I have things I want to do with my life. I rail against myself for not being able to remember things - but I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy. And please do not think that I am suffering. I am not suffering. I am struggling. Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to whom I was once. So, 'live in the moment' I tell myself. It's really all I can do, live in the moment. And not beat myself up too much... and not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of losing. One thing I will try to hold onto though is the memory of speaking here today. It will go, I know it will. It may be gone by tomorrow. But it means so much to be talking here, today, like my old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication. Thank you for this opportunity. It means the world to me. Thank you.

  • Dr. Alice Howland: I was looking for this last night.

    Dr. John Howland: [whispering to Anna] It was a month ago.

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