So be it

Effie 2022-04-22 07:01:21

In retrospect, I watched this film because of the "Eraser in My Mind" I watched in middle school, and because of my husband's grandmother.

It is also Alzheimer's disease. "Eraser" has handsome and beautiful young couples, and "Alice" only has a middle-aged couple with gray temples. In both films, the female protagonist is incontinent. The male protagonist in "Eraser" cries with the female protagonist; the male protagonist in "Alice" hesitates a little, and immediately pulls Alice to clean up. At the end of "Eraser", the people around the heroine recreated her past memories for her, just like magic in Disneyland. At the end of the film, the heroine sat on the balcony of the nursing home facing the sea with her long hair fluttering; at the end of "Alice", the hero was still With her own future to run, Alice silently listened to her daughter's monologue at the end of the play, spit out the love bluntly, her face pale and confused.

Using amnesia to sensationalize is particularly effective and boring. So, I would rather watch "Alice", everything happened, as if nothing happened, that's it, that's it, that's it, so light tone, neither crying nor laughing. Having such a patient with amnesia in the family really has no time for sensationalism, just like Alice's husband and two children sitting at the dinner table, holding family meetings, discussing future arrangements, practical and trivial. The husband's new job can't wait any longer, the son still has to study, the daughter's maternity leave is over... Alice just sat on the side and watched them from a distance.

The first time I met my husband's grandmother, she couldn't remember anyone. So the relatives around her asked her over and over again, who is this, this is your granddaughter-in-law, and they don't know each other again... and it goes on and on. Of course, grandma will never know me. She sometimes thinks that I am my husband's classmate, and sometimes thinks that I am my husband's sister. She shakes hands and hugs every time she meets, and looks like she is very familiar with me.

I was almost a stranger to her, and I felt sad when I came down like this a few times. It should be more difficult for those who were close to her, I thought. Later, I gradually discovered that my mother-in-law is more concerned about what the grandmother in the nursing home eats and wears, how to take care of nurses, and what kind of diapers to buy. a little. Grandma doesn't remember their names, and it's strangely easy to meet and say goodbye, but what everyone thinks about the most is those little details. If they are more thorough, she can live a better, safer and more convenient life. It's pointless to chew those sadness out.

After all, everyone has their own days to live. In the film, Alice's youngest daughter, who was deviant at the beginning, ran from New York to California to pursue her dream of being an actress, and finally returned to her mother to take care of her life. It is also appropriate to say that the mother-daughter relationship is exaggerated, but for the Alice family, this is also the most practical arrangement. There are also plenty of audition opportunities in New York, the younger daughter said. Everyone didn't make too much sacrifice because of Alice, which is already a very good result.

My mother-in-law visits my grandmother in the nursing home every week, accompanies her to lunch, and goes downstairs for a walk. My husband and I were thousands of kilometers away and had very little chance to see her, let alone do much.

The last time I saw my grandmother, I said I was Mr.'s little white rabbit. The grandmother seemed to listen too. After a while, she began to sing in a low voice, little bunny, open the door, open it quickly, I want to come in.

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Extended Reading

Still Alice quotes

  • Dr. Alice Howland: Good morning. It's an honor to be here. The poet Elizabeth Bishoponce wrote: 'the Art of Losing isn't hard to master: so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.' I'm not a poet, I am a person living with Early Onset Alzheimer's, and as that person I find myself learning the art of losing every day. Losing my bearings, losing objects, losing sleep, but mostly losing memories...

    [she knocks the pages from the podium]

    Dr. Alice Howland: I think I'll try to forget that just happened.

    [crowd laughs]

    Dr. Alice Howland: All my life I've accumulated memories - they've become, in a way, my most precious possessions. The night I met my husband, the first time I held my textbook in my hands. Having children, making friends, traveling the world. Everything I accumulated in life, everything I've worked so hard for - now all that is being ripped away. As you can imagine, or as you know, this is hell. But it gets worse. Who can take us seriously when we are so far from who we once were? Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences change other's perception of us and our perception of ourselves. We become ridiculous, incapable, comic. But this is not who we are, this is our disease. And like any disease it has a cause, it has a progression, and it could have a cure. My greatest wish is that my children, our children - the next generation - do not have to face what I am facing. But for the time being, I'm still alive. I know I'm alive. I have people I love dearly. I have things I want to do with my life. I rail against myself for not being able to remember things - but I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy. And please do not think that I am suffering. I am not suffering. I am struggling. Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to whom I was once. So, 'live in the moment' I tell myself. It's really all I can do, live in the moment. And not beat myself up too much... and not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of losing. One thing I will try to hold onto though is the memory of speaking here today. It will go, I know it will. It may be gone by tomorrow. But it means so much to be talking here, today, like my old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication. Thank you for this opportunity. It means the world to me. Thank you.

  • Dr. Alice Howland: I was looking for this last night.

    Dr. John Howland: [whispering to Anna] It was a month ago.

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