Nothing's lost forever.

Matilde 2022-04-22 07:01:21

Not a movie review.


I am 24 years old this year. You are at an important turning point in your life.

Seven years ago, I chose to study abroad due to my self-willedness and youth disease that I couldn't save myself. It is said that going abroad is the road of no return, but in my seventh year alone, when I finally got my green card, I chose to go back to China.

Submitted my resignation letter last week. Saved myself from a state of non-stop for 7 years.
Mom often posts the status of the delicious food she made or the delicious restaurant she has eaten in the circle of friends, and every time she never forgets to leave a message in the comments saying, "Go home, baby, mother will take you there. Eat delicious food."

Actually, I'm not a clingy daughter. Kind of like Lydia in the movie. I didn't listen to my mother very much since I was a child, and my own will always came first. Even after going abroad for so many years, every time I return to China, my mother and I often quarrel because of disagreements.

And my mother, a strong single mother. In addition, like Alice in the film, he is a university professor with extraordinary academics. In the time and space that I am not around, she can only cherish each other with scientific research all day long.

After watching Still Alice, I can't imagine the pain of an intellectual woman like my mother, Alice, who is about to lose a little bit of her proud academic status.

I don't pay much attention to the so-called "filial piety" that Chinese people often talk about, and I still cannot accept the idea and practice of "accept whatever parents say". All I know is that my love for my mother has grown from knowing her for 24 years, resisting her, pity her, fear her, respect her, leave her, miss her, and understand her with countless contradictory and interrelated complex mentalities from. And now I just hope not to do things that I will regret in the future. Career and study are not as irreversible as time, and whether the so-called success in return is nothingness is not worth exploring at the cost of leaving my mother alone.

As mentioned by a Douyou film reviewer, I used to think that if someone said "I'm on vacation with my parents at home", it would be a very boring and unmotivated idea. But now I feel that it is a blessing to be able to make up for the "family time" that has been owed for seven years while the days are still in the most beautiful "now".

Finally, put the monologue at the end of the movie here. I really liked this paragraph and I went to check it out and memorized it. It turned out to be a part of an American drama called "Angels in America". I haven't watched this drama, but I feel that this paragraph is very beautifully written, and it can also very well reflect the subtleties between love, death, and reincarnation.

Night flight to San Francisco. Chase the moon across America. God, it's been years since I was on a plane. When we hit 35000 feet, we'll have reached the tropopause, the greate belt of calm air. As close as I' ll ever get to the ozone. I dreamed we were there. The plane leapt the tropopause, the safe air and attianed the outer rim, the ozone which was ragged and torn, patches of it threadbare as old cheesecloth and that was frightening. But I saw something only I could see because of my ashtonishing ability to see such things. Souls were rising, from the earth far below, souls of the dead of people who'd perished from famine, from war, from the plague and they floated up like skydivers in reverse, limbs all akimbo, wheeling and spinning. And the souls of these departed jointed hands, clasped ankles formed a web,a greate net of souls. And the souls were three-atom molecules of the stuff of ozone and the outer rim absorbed them and was repaired.
Because nothing's lost forever.
In this world, there is a kind of painful progress. Longing for what we've left behind and dreaming ahead.
At least I think that's so.




View more about Still Alice reviews

Extended Reading

Still Alice quotes

  • Dr. Alice Howland: Good morning. It's an honor to be here. The poet Elizabeth Bishoponce wrote: 'the Art of Losing isn't hard to master: so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.' I'm not a poet, I am a person living with Early Onset Alzheimer's, and as that person I find myself learning the art of losing every day. Losing my bearings, losing objects, losing sleep, but mostly losing memories...

    [she knocks the pages from the podium]

    Dr. Alice Howland: I think I'll try to forget that just happened.

    [crowd laughs]

    Dr. Alice Howland: All my life I've accumulated memories - they've become, in a way, my most precious possessions. The night I met my husband, the first time I held my textbook in my hands. Having children, making friends, traveling the world. Everything I accumulated in life, everything I've worked so hard for - now all that is being ripped away. As you can imagine, or as you know, this is hell. But it gets worse. Who can take us seriously when we are so far from who we once were? Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences change other's perception of us and our perception of ourselves. We become ridiculous, incapable, comic. But this is not who we are, this is our disease. And like any disease it has a cause, it has a progression, and it could have a cure. My greatest wish is that my children, our children - the next generation - do not have to face what I am facing. But for the time being, I'm still alive. I know I'm alive. I have people I love dearly. I have things I want to do with my life. I rail against myself for not being able to remember things - but I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy. And please do not think that I am suffering. I am not suffering. I am struggling. Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to whom I was once. So, 'live in the moment' I tell myself. It's really all I can do, live in the moment. And not beat myself up too much... and not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of losing. One thing I will try to hold onto though is the memory of speaking here today. It will go, I know it will. It may be gone by tomorrow. But it means so much to be talking here, today, like my old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication. Thank you for this opportunity. It means the world to me. Thank you.

  • Dr. Alice Howland: I was looking for this last night.

    Dr. John Howland: [whispering to Anna] It was a month ago.

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