I used to see a lot of people and envied their calmness towards life. It took many years for me to realize that they who were able to keep calm about life, I never knew what kind of stormy seas they experienced in the past years. When I was deeply immersed in the vortex of relationship, I realized that only after going through these hardships can I be self-sufficient in high places and calm in low places.
Everyone has their own preferences, people and things are different, and many times we think that nothing bad will happen, or that everything is under our control. As a result, there are secrets that cannot be known to others. There are more and more such secrets, which will eventually be exposed for some inevitable or accidental reasons. It is possible to be ruined or ruined.
The reason for this, in my understanding, is that needs and relationships dominate. Demand refers to the manifestation of one's own needs in the outside world, and relationship refers to the boundary of behavior. If the needs can be self-satisfied, the complexity of the relationship is always unimaginable. Take husband and wife as an example, if two people can exhaustively list the acceptable and unacceptable behavior boundaries, at least half of them will directly break up.
Everyone has a dream lover, and the image of this dream lover is constantly changing. From the first nurturers, to playmates, to favorite teachers, to good students in school, from personal preferences to each other's tastes, we are constantly updating the image of the perfect dream lover in our hearts. One day we fell in love, and after the short honeymoon period passed, we always found that each other was unsatisfactory.
Thus, the subconscious mind will direct us to transform each other. If the transformation or being transformed fails, the relationship will be terminated one day. Too often, we don't know that we or the other person is carrying out a transformation plan on the other person.
Demand is not static, so in the process of transformation or transformation, there are countless changes in demand. Marriage is only the result of a certain variable, and the probability of breaking up is always greater. So it entered a vicious cycle of falling in love - remodeling - remodeling failure - breaking up...
So even if you have a clear understanding of your own needs and set firm boundaries for your relationship, you will still face temptations and troubles from the outside world. "Third parties" abound.
I can't figure out the problem and can't solve it. In my understanding, there is always a lot of pessimism. When I find that I have done something wrong, I often stop the loss subconsciously in time, and then fix it. Until one day, when I looked back, I felt that what I had done before?
Then this couplet popped into my mind:
Have I ever read a book or not
If my code of conduct is highly consistent with my moral values, and if I cater to my needs internally and comply with the law externally, then I will not do those wrong things that I regret.
Yesterday's variety, such as yesterday's death; today's variety, such as today's birth.
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