When I started watching "My Love From the Star," I didn't go to bed until 2:30 in the morning, ignoring the fact that I had to get up at 6:00. Then I started thinking: why is it so appealing to me? What am I projecting in this show? To find this answer, after watching the finale, I went back and watched it twice. Of course, my husband said that this is an act of false public benefit.
I noticed that in the whole drama, only the hero and heroine's scenes piqued my interest, especially their counterparts. For the supporting roles and the supporting roles, it is completely indifferent, and skips it directly when rewatching. I learned that it wasn't the story that attracted me, but the distinct personalities of the hero and heroine, and the emotional impact they brought to me when they collided with each other.
The love between Qian Songyi and Do Minjun is typical
of the hero and heroine in TV dramas, and it is one of the most common love groups in life. There are several such couples around me. In the novel "A Woman's Epic" I read recently, the protagonists Tian Sophie and Ouyang Yu are also such a combination.
I'd describe them as "fire red falls in love with ice blue"; if you were a temperament typologist, you'd probably say they're a combination of optimism and depression; what about psychoanalysts? Their point of view may be the attraction of oral and anal periods; if it is Le Jia, he may say that it is the love of red and blue characters.
Either way, it's just a different naming. The reason why such two people are frequently attracted to each other is naturally a strong driving force of Wanfu Modang.
who are they? Why are they attracted to each other?
Qian Songyi is like a burning red fire, she is full of enthusiasm and strength, her innocence, naturalness and undivided attention (it can also be called cheeky or insensitive), there is a kind of charm that can instantly ignite anyone's enthusiasm . She is so simple and pure that people can't bear to hurt, and people can't help but want to get close. She pays her love in the most direct, warm and unreserved way without asking for anything in return.
She likes living in groups, enjoying all the things of the world—food, clothes, relationships, and achievements—that she thinks is life. However, such hustle and bustle makes her feel lonely. She needs in-depth and intimate emotional communication, and longs for relaxation and acceptance after the prosperity has faded away. And obviously, her heart is full of desires and thoughts, so she doesn't have the ability to create these things, she can only find someone who can give her these things in the crowd.
Du Minjun is like a cold and rigid ice buried deep in the ground. He uses all the power he can mobilize to suppress himself, strive to turn himself into an island, avoid all avoidable relationships, and cut off all desires that can be cut off. and need. Because in his eyes, the world is full of traps, and there is nothing else between people except hurt and use. Plenty of solitude gave him the opportunity to think and learn, deepening his mind and heart, which gave him always a quiet power, an ability to settle everything in an instant.
But God knows that as a person in a group, he yearns all the time to get out of the isolated island and feel the warmth of the world. This is the most instinctive desire of a person. However, it was terrible, he couldn't be sure at all, once he went out, seeing his own inferiority, vulnerability, incompetence, fear in his interactions with others... that was terrible. So he needs someone who can lead him carefully and reassure him over and over again: Don't be afraid, you are safe.
They contain something that the other party deeply needs. How could such two people not hit it off?
How to open the door of love?
In the TV series, Qian Songyi spared no effort in confessing to Do Minjun. Even after the confession was rejected, he was still looking for every opportunity to contact Do Minjun and try to be with him.
This is the charm of the code-named fiery red, or the optimist temperament, or the charm of the personality of the oral period. She will go through fire and water for the person she loves, and she is not afraid of this. How can she be afraid of losing face, being rejected, and being laughed at? Only this kind of enthusiasm, such persistence, such a high-profile shouting "I love you" with a big banner, can I give the code name Binglan (or depressive temperament, anal personality) with courage and confidence, so that he is willing to try Carefully walk out of the island and meet flaming red.
And the most worth mentioning is that a man like Do Minjun is in love with himself when he is alone for a long time. He has a lot of time to study himself, study human nature, study the space in which he lives, and This must lead to his high narcissism. Therefore, only those who regard him as life and love him to the extent that there is no lower limit can truly move his heart. And Qian Songyi loves him like this, and is sending this signal to him all the time. In the novel "A Woman's Epic", the love between the protagonists Tian Sophie and Ouyang Yu is also in this pattern.
In this love, who loves whom more?
It seems that Qian Songyi loves vigorously, and she makes all kinds of efforts for Do Minjun. However, all that she has done is probably not worth one-tenth of what Du Minjun paid for her. The latter is taking his life to love her, isn't he?
The screenwriter did this arrangement, not for the sake of a good-looking story, but because it conforms to the principles of psychological development and the basic realities of life.
Do Minjun rarely says "I love you", that's because the love he gave is so deep that these three words are not enough to cover everything. For the woman who led him out of the lonely island in his heart and gave him so much warmth, admiration and security, how could the words "I love you" explain his feelings for her?
What challenges does such a love face?
If you take off the gorgeous coat of love and look at the naked reality from a psychological point of view, both Qian Songyi and Do Minjun are only in love with their inner projections: Qian Songyi longs for herself to be as deep, stable and content as Do Minjun , Do Min Joon longed to be as simple, warm and energetic as Cheon Song Yi. They don't think they have these things in them, so they seek out a partner who has them in order to satisfy their desire for self-improvement.
One day, Qian Songyi will feel that Du Minjun is dull and dull, lacks fun, and appears passive and stubborn in life. She will be especially annoyed to find that no matter how enthusiastically she expresses it, he looks indifferent. And Do Minjun would hate that Qian Songyi always made a mess in the house. He would think that Qian Songyi did not seek progress, was superficial and vain, and floated on the surface, especially Qian Songyi was emotionally unstable, crying and laughing at every turn. Let him lose his quiet and orderly personal space forever.
Of course, they can't tolerate each other's, far more than that.
"Love is easy to get along with" means that when the passion fades and people see that their partner is no longer the perfect person in their imagination, but a real person with human limitations, will they still be willing to Continue to love him and accept him instead of trying to make him the perfect person you imagined him to be. Otherwise, it will be really difficult to get along.
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