This drama is adapted from real events. Psychologists believe that the mother of the prototype suffers from "surrogate Monchosen syndrome" and the tragedy happened. In addition to cases of extreme consequences, stories of hurting loved ones in the name of love often occur. Share two things around me:
The first story, about four or five years ago, the Chinese New Year family gathering was about to end. Since the juniors of us usually couldn't meet each other, we proposed to let the adults go home first, and the juniors would chat again. At this time, an aunt objected and insisted on letting my brother go home with her immediately. My uncle and several elders persuaded this aunt to let my brother stay for a while. Unexpectedly, my aunt suddenly screamed and started to cry. In the end, no one could hold her back, and her brother reluctantly went home with her. My brother should be in his 30s that year, but under his aunt's manic attitude, his embarrassment and consideration for his mother's emotions were all written on his face. This elder brother was very naughty when he was a child, but now he has become very dull. I know he lives in the shadow of his mother and cannot breathe freely.
Last year, this elder brother bought an affordable house, which is far away from their current home, and there are no supporting facilities around the new house. I heard that he planned to move away from his parents after the renovation. I am supportive in my heart. Compared with the huge shadow in my heart, the lack of life support is nothing.
In the second story, a friend of mine said that she had a big fight with her mother and daughter because she persuaded her mother to see a doctor. My friend said: The old man is stubborn and he doesn't want to go to the hospital for an examination even though he is already uncomfortable. The old man said: She knows her own physical condition, and her daughter pays too much attention to her.
The love of parents for their children is not a permanent possession of the children, but a decent withdrawal. The first task of parents' love for their children is to be intimate with their children and to care for their growth; the second task is to separate from their children and promote their independence. If parents cannot give up possession, it will only suffocate the child's adult life.
The love of children for their parents is not the control of their parents in every possible way, but the right to choose should be given to the parents. As parents get older, their position in family affairs gradually shifts from dominant to subordinate, and their children gradually become dominant. If children don’t know how to respect their parents’ wishes, they will only lose their dignity in their later life.
Chinese people always have the mindset of "a daughter-in-law becomes a mother-in-law." Terrible cycle, generation after generation hurt each other.
Each of us should reduce our desire to control, and stop exercising control and possession in the "name of love". After all, everyone is an independent individual, leaving room for each other to breathe, respecting each independent will, and getting along with each other as equals. The basic bottom line. If I am too old to live anymore, please respect my application for euthanasia.
Public account: Xianggen's words
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