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Not a Hollywood movie, nor does it have the philosophy and mellowness of European skits
Toney 2022-01-13 08:03:05
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[after giving his apology speech at a community center following his incident with a gang at the supermarket, Doug meets with Richard, the board of directors and the community leaders]
First Community Leader: I think everybody is feeling pretty good about it.
Richard: Yeah.
First Community Leader: It's isolated.
Richard: Oh yeah, it's a one-time thing.
First Community Leader: What's that?
Richard: I agree, it's isolated. I think it was just some 'black apples'. We won't be seeing that happen again.
[Long pause between everyone]
First Community Leader: Black apples.
Richard: What's that?
First Community Leader: You said, 'black apples'?
[Another long pause]
Richard: I said bad ones...?
First Community Leader: The fuck you said bad.
Richard: Bad apples?
First Community Leader: You said black.
Richard: I'm sorry if there's some confusion. Maybe in the confusion, I...
Mitch: Hey, come on. It's been a long day. That was a slip.
First Community Leader: This is a lot of shit.
Richard: You are not a black apple to me. I said, that possibly, there was one black one in the batch, not you. And I didn't mean to say black. I meant 'back'... 'blatch', blah... 'blapples'.
[Long pause between everyone]
First Community Leader: Where'd you get this fucker?
[the community leaders walk away as Mitch follows them]
Mitch: Let's catch up outside. I'll hit you with some gift certificates.
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[Richard struggles to assemble a ship in a bottle while his motivational tape plays in the background]
Motivational Speaker: Have you ever seen an eagle blow his top? Do your best to keep your cool.
Richard: Stay loose...
[the ship tips over when Richard places his tweezers near it]
Richard: Fuck!
Motivational Speaker: Every life has its frustrations, but be careful not to let them get the best of you in front of your family. Instead of curses, find a more family-friendly way to express life's frustrations.
[Richard drops his tweezers inside the bottle, causing him to get up in anger]
Richard: Fuck you! Ship fuck! Asshole ship! Seven seas fucker! Jolly fucker!
Lori Wehlner: For Christ's sake...
Richard: No one can do that! It's impossible! Not even a guy with tiny hands! Not even a guy with a child's hands! Fuck that!