I don't know what kind of wisdom it takes to translate a mundane name like "Hilary and Jackie" into "She's Lonely Than Fireworks". This topic is really very appropriate, just one sentence, you can already vaguely see what kind of story this is, and what kind of lonely woman there will be in the story. That sentence is her life.
When I got the DVD, I was a little disappointed, because I imagined that the heroine worthy of the title should have a thin and lonely face, just like the female star who died early in Yi Shu's novel of the same name, or the Maggie Cheung's Ruan Lingyu is so elegant and lonely. But there are two women on the poster, which should be Hilary and Jackie. The blonde girl in front of Jackie had a vivid and innocent baby face, Hilary's face was hidden behind her, and she nodded slightly. Unlike Hilary's forbearance, Jackie was still a child at first glance, with innocent and warm eyes.
Perhaps it is a deeper cruelty to let a child with such eager eyes be lonely for a lifetime.
They are a pair of sisters, born into a musical family. Hilary has practiced harder than Jackie since she was a child. She always performs on the brightly lit stage and gets more appreciation and honors. Jackie is willful and sensitive, unable to bear the neglect and loneliness of standing in the audience forever. She practiced the cello frantically, all the time, stubbornly and monographed like an obsession. She finally surpassed her sister and became the center of attention of the crowd. Jackie held up the trophy with excitement, and the moment he stood in front of the camera with his family for a photo, a vague loneliness flashed on Hilary's face.
Slowly, Hilary got farther and farther away from music. She finally gave up music and lived with her beloved husband in the countryside for the rest of her life. She was peaceful and happy in her heart.
But Jackie, like wearing the legendary red shoes, can't help but dance alone and can't stop. Day and night, she ran from city to city, like fireworks blooming on the stage again and again. The lights on the stage are constantly changing, reflecting her beautiful and agile shadow. But in the Mood for Love, the streamer was flying, and the only one who accompanied her was the cello. She closed her eyes, devoted herself to the performance, and had thousands of love and dazzling expressions, but she put her life into such a beautiful and lonely posture.
Her movements are always so exaggerated, as if all her strength is poured into the trembling strings. Where is she performing, she is clearly paying tribute to music with her life. There are many arts in the world, which need to be exchanged bit by bit with all the energy of life before they can burst into brilliance. From the moment she started her music career, she was destined to be unable to be separated from it again, destined to be alone, guarding it for the rest of her life.
She seemed to faintly see her own tomorrow, was afraid of it, and unconsciously wanted to get rid of the cello. She wants to become an ordinary person like Hilary, a husband who loves her deeply and a happy family. But Hilary said, "Honey, if you think it's easier to be an ordinary person than an extraordinary person, you're wrong." Yes, she has flown so high in the sky, even with a lover, And still can not be like my sister, to be satisfied with the happiness of mortals. In addition to the lonely and splendid bloom, she has no choice.
I don't know why I always feel that she is not really crazy about the cello. Her initial closeness and monograph to it were just because she was too lonely in her heart and wanted to get more love through it. As her sister said, she is actually just a child, and she needs a lot of love to be satisfied. And the amazing musical talent seems to be the only bargaining chip she can use to exchange favor. If there is no music and cannot play, she actually has nothing.
So when Jackie found that she could no longer play, and her hands were shaking too much to hold the bow, she took off her crystal slipper like a noble princess, and turned back into a low self-esteem and desperate Cinderella overnight. She shows up on Hilary and her husband's farm in the country, wanting to share in her sister's family, and even her husband. In fact, she didn't love that man, she just wanted to prove that without the aura of music, as a woman, she could still be loved.
She has always been a fragile and willful child, madly demanding everything and wanting to have more, just to resist the cold loneliness in her soul.
Hilary loved Jackie so much that she couldn't resist her desperate cry, so she agreed to let her share everything about her. Because of their deep love for each other, the three were so conflicted and painfully entangled. In the end, Hilary couldn't bear it anymore and could no longer accept such a distorted relationship. Jackie had to carry the only cello that truly belonged to her in her life and left sadly. .
However, Jackie was terminally ill, and she completely lost her music. Every day I sat there trembling and my body shook violently, like fallen leaves struggling in the autumn wind. She has been pursuing and striving all her life, and she has always wandered around without a sense of security. Music brought her infinite glory and pride, but it also deprived her of the love and warmth she longed for in her life, and finally left her mercilessly. She has nothing again.
Hilary came, she hugged her, and whispered in her ear the stories she told her when she was a child. In a trance, they were the two little girls running happily, hugging deeply by the sea. All the coveted glory and brilliance in life instantly disappeared. Only at that moment, they hugged tightly, with the same consonance, so real and warm.
That day they seemed to have met a lonely woman by the sea, she once said to Jackie, don't worry, everything will pass...
yes dear, everything will pass. Joy, jealousy, pride, pain, loss, glory, shame... everything is fleeting. At the end of life, it's just a vast and empty loneliness.
Thinking of the fireworks on the beach once, at that moment, in the sky and the water, the peerless bright and beautiful, so publicized and open. But after a startling glance, all the brilliance, sound and color were nowhere to be found, only the sky was darker, and it was even suspected that what I had seen was a phantom.
All the splendor that has been in life, it turns out that after all, it needs to be repaid with loneliness.
2003.3.23
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