Saw the movie Julieta at the cinema.
Dear daughter, mother tells you a story, the story of mother and father. My dad and I met on the train and the man I was in the same car was very annoying, he approached me and I ignored him. I left that carriage and went to another carriage, where I met your father. Outside the car window, I saw a running deer, and suddenly I had an ominous premonition. The man who was sitting in the same car as me fell on the rails when the train stopped briefly. When the train started again, the man was run over to death by the train, but I thought it was my resistance to him that killed him. My dad and I were on the train and we were burning firewood, and then we had you. Time flies, you grow up slowly, but I suspect that your father is having an affair with another woman. One day, your father and I had a fight. Your father went to sea in a fit of rage. The wind was blowing that day, and your father was dead when he came back. I didn't tell you about my fight with your dad, I just told you about how your dad died.
Dear daughter, the news of your father's death has made me lose interest in everything and I am suffering from depression. Fortunately, I still have you in my life, your existence is the only meaning of my life. I was very happy during that time. With your company, my depression has improved a lot, but unfortunately it was a short time. Your sudden departure from me is like a thunderbolt from the blue sky, without the slightest sign, you will never see me again, and your whereabouts have become a mystery. The more I want to see you, the more painful it is. I don't understand why you want to stay away from me, I am your mother, your closest person. Every year, on your birthday, I will buy a birthday cake, write your age on it, put candles on it, and think of you silently with tears. When the candles went out, I threw the birthday cake in the trash.
Dear daughter, I finally learned the real reason why you don't want to see me again through other means. You are blaming me, you are punishing me in disguise, letting me lose another relative while losing one relative. You hate me so you don't want to see me again. If your father hadn't quarreled with me that day, he wouldn't have gone to sea in a fit of anger. If he hadn't gone out to sea in a rage that day, he wouldn't have died. If he hadn't died, you wouldn't have gone far away. But life can't "if", I indirectly killed your father, and I also indirectly killed the man who used to sit in the same carriage as me. Things in this world seem to be inextricably linked. Time dilutes everything. It has been twelve years without any news of you. I also want to open up, trying to gradually forget you.
Dear daughter, after many years, I met another man who loved me. People are selfish and unwilling to be lonely, and lonely people are shameful. I plan to leave this sad place with that man. Just as I was about to leave, I met your best friend, who revealed your whereabouts to me and told me that you now have three children and are very happy. Your happiness is the most important thing to me. In this world, there is nothing more important than your happiness. Knowing that you are happy makes my heart feel better. However, I suddenly learned about your current situation again, and the fire of desire to see you is burning again, which makes me fall into a swamp of pain once again. I got your letter again, in which you told me that one of your children drowned, and through that, you said you finally understood what it was like to be a mom, and finally understand my pain. You finally left your address in the letter, I see what you mean, and you forgive me. Thank you, I will go see you now.
Two Zero One Land/One One/One Seven
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