Love is no longer, marriage is no longer

Burdette 2021-11-12 08:01:15

I said, after watching "Blue Valentine's Day", I still believe in love and sigh at the real or unreal marriage life in the story, but I still don't fear to stand up and step into the palace of marriage. However, I don't think the two people in this story have ever had a real love, and I have to admit that their marriage failed.

what is love? In fact, it is difficult to say clearly, but people who have experience will naturally understand, naturally feel it, and naturally resonate. Needless to say too much, he smiles naturally. The love between two people in "Blue Valentine's Day" shouldn't be love. It's okay to make love at a glance, but blindly following is just wishful thinking, not the true way of love. Love is about coming and going, advancing and retreating. It is not about one person chasing after the day like Kuafu, and another person following it blankly. There is not only love between opposite sexes, and there are actually very few love feelings that can be called love. Friends can also make each other happy, share happiness and pain, and even sex, but that is not necessarily love. Maybe it's just comfort when lonely, warm when sad. Or maybe it's ambiguous, the two people just fall into the psychological habit of cutting and arranging and chaos. It's not love. Not to mention how passive the heroine in the film is. He fell in love with her at first sight and persevered, and she was just a freshness towards him at first, a warmth that was not too disgusting. She is like a goddess in his eyes, remote, arrogant, and unattainable; in her eyes, he is nothing but a trance, detached, not annoying, nor obsessed. It is just a parallel line when not needed, and a warm arm when needed. , Nothing more. Therefore, there is no love between them.

When you have love, you will have the intention, you will feel that you will never leave, and you will want to live together. This is the routine of ordinary people, the unchanging truth. If you love him, you naturally want to marry; if you love her, you naturally want to marry. Stepping into the palace of marriage, everything is no longer a child's play, no longer an impulsive physical union, this involves a lot. Since ancient times, China has been talking about "right to the door", and now it seems a bit ridiculous. The story of the prince and Cinderella is like a crystal shoe at midnight, always shining brightly. However, many realities tell us not to forget the old saying that there can be no limit to the object of love, and the two parties who can get married must at least match.

There is no doubt that he and she in the film do not match. She was born into a self-sufficient family and has peaceful relatives. She herself is a talented student with ideals, ambitions and hard work. And he comes from an incomplete family. Although he is kind, he has criminal convictions. Although he has some talents, he can only make a living by selling his labor. This is not a gap, but at least a difference. They met by chance, but their life backgrounds were very different. And one of the important reasons why she married him was because of her unintended pregnancy. It should be said that the basis of their marriage is not strong love, but her missteps and his luck. One fell accidentally, one after another was accurate. Although this is a coincidence, it cannot be called fate.

The first time he went to her house, she rarely spoke at the dinner table, because she had nothing to say, they didn’t know each other, but just caught up with a suitable time, and she couldn’t think too much, she was pregnant. The child affected her judgment and thinking.

As for how the countless days after marriage came over, we can't know in detail, but we can guess. The differences in family life, each other's work, habits, etc. will only become more and more obvious every day. He has many advantages, but she can only see shortcomings that she cannot bear. And because of her lack of love, she didn't have so much patience.

This failed marriage story is different from "Revolution Road", there is love between them, but she is a little hysterical there. It is also different from "Night and Fog in Tianshuiwei", where they also have a different love, but due to changes in life, he is frantic there. In the broken marriage in "Blue Valentine's Day", the lack of love is the prerequisite, and it can even be said to be the bane, and the gap between the two people is fatal. The cracks are becoming more and more irreparable.

Love and marriage are not necessarily related, but they should be. After all, marriage is a contract. Love is usually the agreement of two people, and it is also the psychological basis for defending rights and willingly fulfilling obligations. If someone touches him during the execution of the contract, it is naturally difficult to maintain the contract. If there is no love, marriage can start. For certain benefits, many people just come together like that, and cultivate feelings and habits in the days after marriage. However, there must be a balance between rights and obligations, and the gap cannot be too large. Once the gap is too large, the two parties will have a psychological gap, and they will feel that their rights and obligations are no longer balanced, conflicts and disputes will occur, and the contract will be difficult to maintain. "Blue Valentine's Day" is like this.

Every story of a failed marriage is sorrowful and easy to give people bad hints, but failure is also because of success. To believe in love, but also to admit that sometimes it is common for love to break the contract repeatedly. Dare to face marriage, consider each other rationally, make up your mind, and don't be blindly confident.

Everything is normal. Some people like blue, while others like others. It all depends on how fate is arranged.

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Extended Reading
  • Dane 2022-03-23 09:01:34

    What a good man, he accepts her who is pregnant with other people's children, and treats other people's children like his own, but it's a pity that he is too idealistic, has no career, and is a little chatty

  • Antwon 2021-11-12 08:01:15

    Love will blur the distance between two people, compromise and sacrifice are willing. But life will only enlarge the gap between the two and make a relationship out of control. I don't blame her for reality, she wants stability, she looks forward to the future of this man; I don't blame him for being impetuous, what he wants is passion, what he misses is the past of this woman. A successful marriage is to maintain a balance between love and life, so that two people are always at a reachable distance.

Blue Valentine quotes

  • Cindy: Fuck you. Yeah, I'm more of a man than you are, you fucking cunt.

  • Dean: Be a man, what is that shit? You want me to be a man? I'll go be a man.

    [tosses equipment in the room]

    Dean: Is this what a man does?