The film does not fully explain Lars' family background, but the trauma caused to him by Lars's original family can still be discovered in a few words. The wound repair process starts with the appearance of the inflatable doll Bianca and slowly unfolds.
1. The
biggest trauma of the original trauma is the mother's dystocia death-when Ras was born, his mother died at the age of 33. The second trauma comes from his father. After the death of Lars' mother, he was overly sad, closed himself, and didn't want anyone to be by his side. The third trauma comes from my brother. The elder brother was terrified by his father's state, and fled the original family, and abandoned Ras.
It can be inferred that Russ' feelings about the death of his mother are complicated, with both guilt and anger. Guilt is because the mother's death is directly related to his own birth, and the anger is because in Lars's eyes the mother's death means abandonment. This anger is intensified by the collapse of his father and the escape of his brother.
Russ felt anxious and angry towards his father and brother. For a baby, facing a father who is immersed in grief all day and a brother who is terrified, the anxiety is self-evident. His father was too sad to take care of his children, and his brother was afraid of escaping from the family, making Ras angry. The anger stems from not being paid attention to and being abandoned.
Under the influence of these three traumas, Russ has accumulated and suppressed the mixed emotions of guilt, anxiety, and anger.
2. Lars's symptoms
Child psychoanalyst Mahler once used the image of a bird's egg to describe the baby's closed mental system.
The baby's initial psychological world is completely closed, and whether it can come out depends on the warmth given by the outside world. Just like when a chick is hatched, the temperature is enough for the chick to break out of its shell. For every baby, the courage and strength to come out of the shell comes from the support and care of the parent.
Unfortunately, the death of his mother, the sorrow of his father, and the escape of his brother prevented Lars from receiving enough care since he was a child. As a result, he was always huddled in the enclosed eggshell, unable to get out—just like the dimness in the movie. Small garage.
Psychologically, the first Lars was an autistic baby, like a person in a condom. Living alone in the garage and fear of touching are all manifestations of this state.
In the film, Lars once told the inflatable doll Bianca while chopping wood, "My father told me that wood can warm you three times: the first time is when cutting trees, the second time is when chopping wood..." It is vaguely visible that Russ desires warmth, and chopping wood is a way for Russ to warm himself, which is really embarrassing.
It is worth mentioning that Ras, who is autistic, only has communication barriers with young women, but communicates smoothly with older women. At the beginning of the film, Lars took the initiative to help an old lady move flowers in the church as proof. This performance can be traced back to his mother's dystocia and death. Accompanying this experience is an equation: contact with young women = possible pregnancy = possible death. This equation, like a brand, lingers. This equation is automatically activated whenever Russ meets a young woman. Therefore, Russ becomes very anxious when he comes into contact with female colleagues and his sister-in-law. As for the old lady, the possibility of pregnancy (death) after exposure is almost zero, so Lars will behave naturally and generously.
The last is the delusion diagnosed by the psychologist. The inducing stimulus of this symptom was the pregnancy of Las’s sister-in-law, which brought Las back to the starting point of the trauma and aroused deep anxiety and fear in his heart, which was manifested in the office of the psychologist. The appearance of the inflatable doll Bianca, or the appearance of delusion, actually reflects the inner motivation of Lars to repair the original trauma.
Third, the key factor of restoration The
most critical factor is the intervention of inflatable dolls. As the psychiatrist said, "Bianca can't come to this town for no reason." The inflatable doll is a signal from Russ: I want to change the status quo, I want to get out of the closed shell. It can be said that without the appearance of inflatable dolls, there would be no subsequent psychotherapy, and no subsequent trauma repair process. Don't ask for help, don't help-the inner motivation of the seeker to seek change is best explained here.
The second is the intervention of a psychologist. It was the correct diagnosis and advice of the psychiatrist that gave the support of his sister-in-law and the full cooperation of the whole town. In the six conversations, the doctor's unconditional acceptance, the understanding of Ras’ heart based on Ras’ projection of the inflatable doll, the discussion of the sister-in-law’s pregnancy events, and the use of systemic desensitization all promoted Ras’ development and maturity.
Two other very important factors are the venting of anger and the dialogue between Russ and the three characters (neighbors, sister-in-law, and brother).
When Bianca was invited to participate in activities everywhere, Lars once again experienced the feeling of abandonment brought to him by his mother's death. He couldn't bear it and finally broke out. The anger that had been suppressed for many years was vented on Bianca, who would not fight back, and Russ' heart was freely released. The impact of trauma will be weakened by the release of emotional energy. The trauma associated with the mother is strongly repaired here.
After Russ broke out, the old neighbor told Russ that “Bianca has a life of her own, and any woman with self-esteem does not like to be called by others.” This is also a repair to the trauma of her mother’s passing, as if she is telling Ras. Si-the mother's death is her own arrangement and has little to do with you-the guilt confined in Lars' heart was finally released with a reasonable explanation.
Later, the heartfelt words of her sister-in-law made Lass deeply aware that the accidental death of her mother did not intentionally abandon herself, nor did it mean that she did not love herself. As a result, Russ' anger towards his mother was further eased. (The dialogue is as follows)
——She is my girlfriend. Do I have to read her schedule when I see her? (In reality, it is Bianca’s anger, but in a psychological sense, it expresses the anger of abandoning his mother)
——Are you okay?
——If I left her like this, what would she think? If I abandon her... (here, "she" really refers to the mother, and is still expressing anger at
her abandonment ) ——She did not abandon you, she will come back (Psychologically, it is an explanation of the mother’s behavior)
—— how could I know? People do whatever they want, they don’t care (still expressing their anger at the mother’s abandonment)
-no, we all care, Russ, really care (sister-in-law emphasizes everyone's concern for Russ)-no
, you don't care
——You’re wrong, my God, everyone in the town is trying their best to make Bianca feel like home, otherwise how could she have so many places to go and so many things to do——because of you ! Because all people love you! ...We did it for you! So don't talk nonsense that we don't care! (The Outbreak of Love) After
repairing the trauma related to the mother, it is to deal with the trauma related to the father and brother. The brother's apology and the explanation of his father's past behavior relieved Lars again. (Brother’s description is as follows)
Brother: "Like dad, he doesn’t have to take care of two children alone. He can send us to an orphanage. Many people do. But he loves us and tries to make the right choice. , Even though he didn’t know what to do, even though he had a fragile heart. I shouldn’t leave you alone to him, he was too sad and frightened me, so I just... I just flee, that’s very I'm selfish, sorry!" (My brother wants to express-even though my father did a bad job, he still loves us; my escape is not right, and I am responsible for the harm you have suffered.) So
far, the three major The wound repair is basically completed. Russ will also start a new life-comforting the injured female colleague, shaking hands with the female colleague intimately, and the inflatable doll Bianca is also seriously ill at this time.
The last key factor is Bianca's silent company with the old lady in the town when he is about to die. This is a completely different experience from the collapse of his father when his mother died. "When there is a tragedy, people do it, they sit together." With everyone's company, at this moment, Russ's heart must be warm.
Fourth, the role of inflatable dolls The role of
inflatable dolls is not the only fixed one, but constantly changes with the psychological development of Lars.
At first it was on behalf of Russ himself. Lass, who is still autistic, tries to deal with the outside world through the inflatable doll Bianca. According to Lass, people's attitude towards Bianca is also their attitude towards themselves. Only by unconditionally supporting and affirming the existence of Bianca can he provide Ras with the temperature and courage he needs to break out of the shell. Ras’s placement of Bianca in his mother’s former room shows Ras’ desire to reconnect with his mother and receive mother-like care. The psychiatrist who was familiar with the people took the lead in doing this. Later, Lars’s brother-in-law and the people in the small town also did it.
Then came the mother who represented Russ. With the cooperation and support of everyone, Russ quickly broke out of the infant state of autism and transitioned to the infant state of symbiosis. At this time, Russ and Bianca are like a mother and baby—in physical form. The two can be separated, but psychologically they are one. As Las Bianca sang by the lake, "Love is not just the catharsis of two people, you and I in love can create the world..." At this time, Las is wandering in the happy world of the unity of mother and child. With the progress of treatment and the further support of the surrounding environment, Ras began to enter a period of separation-individualization. The most obvious sign is that Ras took Bianca to worship his parents. During this period, the three original traumas of Ras have been greatly repaired, which also means that Ras is about to complete the process of separation from his mother psychologically and become an independent man.
Finally, the fantasy girlfriend representing Russ. Only when a boy grows into a man can Bianca become a girlfriend. Only by cutting off the psychological connection with the mother can a new intimate relationship be established outside the original family. When Lars asked his brother "how can I know that I am a man", this change began to happen quietly. As Russ matures, Bianca's fantasy girlfriend will eventually die, replaced by intimacy in reality.
After mourning, it is a new life.
View more about Lars and the Real Girl reviews
