I still remember when I was a child, I was always asked whether I liked my father or my mother. In order not to offend both sides, my general answer was that I liked both. If I don't want to be asked, I will use my grandmother more to avoid answering this question head-on. In order to get more attention and love from our family, we gradually learned how to please others when we were human cubs.
When we grow up, we often have to please the people around us, colleagues, and bosses as carefully as Alex, the former singer of "K-Song Lover", twists his butt in the leggings that the audience likes. Although this is a bit tiring, we are more reluctant to bear the possible negative consequences of not doing this. If the leader vaguely shows dissatisfaction with a report, we will quickly change it. If the loved one has always wanted something, we will tighten our belts and save money to buy it for each other. Pleasing itself is an important social skill, and there's no shame in using it flexibly.
Perhaps it is because there are too many objects to please in life and work, and many post-80s, 90s, and 00s are becoming more and more reluctant to aggrieve themselves too much when they get along with their other half to live their lives. Because of this, the status quo of marriage in China is late marriage, fewer marriages, and more divorces. The current state of marriage is not sad, which means that most people clearly know that the right half in their mind is the one who is relatively equal to their family status and who will take care of each other. In these days of social and economic pressure, at least in the family we don't want to be a pleaser all the time.
*There are more movie/TV series recommendations on my Weibo (aka Maruko who loves to read), everyone is welcome to pay attention!
https://weibo.com/u/3179898575
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