1. Introduction to My King
"My King" ( Mon Roi , English translation My King , Hong Kong translation "In love with the wrong person", Taiwan translation "My Beloved King") is a French film released in 2015. It tells the story from the perspective of the heroine Tony, presenting a pair of couples with different backgrounds and personalities, from mutual attraction, love, pregnancy, flash marriage, quarrel, divorce, love-hate entanglement after divorce, and finally separation Love experience. The heroine Tony is a strict and conscientious lawyer who works well, and the hero Georgio is a romantic, gentle, lavish and charming restaurant owner. The film alternately presents the heroine's healing process in a sanatorium alone and her emotional experience of ups and downs in the past, from the dry tea and fire in love, to jealousy and quarrels in marriage, to the heroine's loneliness after a complete separation. It's only two hours, but it gave me a lot of thinking and inspiration.
2. From the "Love Triangle Theory" to see the love relationship in the movie
Systematic research and theory of love relationships are constantly evolving. Erich Fromm (1956) believes that "love is the union with others while maintaining one's own integrity and individuality", and mature love has five characteristics: giving, caring, responsibility, respect, and understanding. Ira Reiss (1960) put forward the "Wheel Theory of Love Development", which divided the development of love into four stages: formation of fit, self-disclosure, interdependence, and satisfaction of personal intimacy needs. These four stages progress gradually. When the wheel rotates clockwise, Love develops positively, and when the relationship encounters obstacles and the wheel spins counterclockwise, love develops negatively, which may lead to breakup (Reiss, 1960). Robert Sternberg (1986) proposed the "Triangle Theory of Love", which believes that the three important elements of love are intimacy, passion and commitment. Different types or stages of love can be regarded as different combinations of these three elements. Importance varies over time, and a relationship based on a single element does not last as long as a relationship based on two or three elements. This part will mainly analyze the love relationship in "My King" in the framework of "The Triangle of Love".
"Passion" in the "Triangle of Love" refers to romantic feelings and sexual attraction to someone (Sternberg, 1986). The male and female protagonists of "My King" have remained passionate during the ten years they have been together. The passion at the beginning of the relationship is reflected in the fact that the heroine Tony is attracted by the hero Georgio in a nightclub and takes the initiative to strike up a conversation; it is also reflected in the fact that Georgio took her to the wedding when he met Tony for the second time. Said "I love you" to Tony. Even after the divorce, the passion between the two parties remained unabated, and Georgio kept looking for opportunities to have sex, travel, and eat with Tony; although Tony took the initiative to end the ten-year entanglement with Georgio under the drive of reason, but when she and Georgio met with the parents of her son's school, they met again. At the time, the lens simulated Tony's perspective and observed Georgio's appearance, demeanor, and conversation time and time again, indicating that Tony was still emotionally attracted to Georgio.
Although Tony and Georgio are passionate, they eventually separate, which is inseparable from the weakening of the "intimacy" and "commitment" elements of the love triangle. "Intimacy" refers to the partners' idle attachment to each other, which requires both partners' willingness to share feelings, open themselves up, and provide emotional support to each other; "commitment" refers to a conscious choice to remain loyal to each other (Sternberg, 1986). In the movie, Georgio is the more powerful party with richer love experience, so his choice and performance of intimacy and commitment are more important to the maintenance of the relationship. At the beginning of the relationship, Georgio took the initiative to show intimacy and commitment to Tony: he confessed that he was caring for an emotionally troubled ex-girlfriend Agnès for a long time; Says he just wants Tony right now; he's quick to say to Tony "I want to have a baby with you, I mean it...I'm not on a whim, I really want and need a baby". As a party with a relatively dull relationship and life, Georgio's love experience and attitude were not easy for Tony to accept, but he felt Georgio's serious and sincere self-disclosure, and heard him say that he hoped to have a child with him - a person who is very concerned about the future. The rest of his life, the commitment to be jointly responsible for another life, and the passion to hit it off with firewood and fire, the triangle of love is ready, so Tony chose to accept, believe and give his love, so he fell in love, got pregnant, and got married quickly.
However, the love triangle is no longer stable soon after marriage. On the one hand, his ex-girlfriend Agnès attempted suicide after learning that Tony was pregnant, which made Georgio refocus a lot of energy on caring for Agnès, which made him less concerned about Tony and his son. He and Tony were attached, supported, and communicated with each other. Intimacy is also destroyed. On the other hand, Georgio's personalities such as indulging in socializing and not taking care of his family gradually revealed, and Tony gradually realized that Georgio had a lot of concealment from her, such as drug addiction, debt, suspected cheating, etc. Therefore, Tony's confidence in Georgio's promises continued to decline. She displayed strong mood swings and struggled to continue building a trusting, supportive intimacy with Georgio. Tony's emotional problems prompted Georgio to choose the way he was used to - separation, traveling alone at Christmas, taking drugs, etc. to escape reality and self-paralysis, but because there was still passion, Georgio has been reluctant to let go of Tony. Georgio thought that he handled his emotions well and only showed the passion element in the relationship, so he could keep Tony, but he didn't know that Georgio couldn't give the elements of intimacy and commitment Tony needed, so the two eventually moved towards separation.
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