Married life: From filial piety to wives and filial piety to chickens flying to the ground and then to philosophical thinking, "What is marriage? Where does it come from and where does it go?" "Are the two genders fundamentally insulators?" "The loophole

Jess 2022-03-23 09:03:28

On Friday night, I wanted to re-watch one of Ang Lee's family trilogy, "Diet Men and Women". Some old classic movies that you have seen are very suitable for relaxation and eye-catching. Turning on the computer, I saw this "Marriage Life" directed by Ingmar Bergman. Bergman is Ang Lee's spiritual mentor. I remember a photo of Ang Lee holding him like a child, with tears all over his face. The movie version of Married Life was released in 1973 and lasted 3 hours. The version on my computer was the TV version republished in Japan in 1975 and lasted 5 hours. Because I know the time is very long, I have not found the right time to watch it. I opened it and watched it for a while, and it felt like a good movie. Look at the time progress bar of the movie, 4 hours and 59 minutes, and then look at the clock next to it, it is close to 8 pm. Keep watching, it is estimated that you can finish the movie before tomorrow or early tomorrow morning. After hesitating for a while, "Let's watch it!" At about 1:00 in the morning, the movie ended. No worries, want to write something. To sum up first, during the 5 hours of watching the movie, my emotions were up and down. For the first 2 hours, I maintained a calm and distant attitude towards watching the movie, and I probably thought in my heart, "Well, Nordic, in the 1970s, a movie about marriage relationship seems to be in harmony now, there are enough details, and the method is very avant-garde. In other words, it is quite classical, but there are still a lot of people who can discuss it to this level." Seeing the third hour, I wanted to slap the table and shouted, "It's awesome, the master is still Master, Cao Xueqin and Dostoevsky in the movie!" In the past one hour, the director let me temporarily get out of my inherent values, and blocked my own picture. Right and wrong mouth. He was speechless for a while. At the 4th hour, I started to worry about the master, how should I shoot next? How does the plot develop? How will humanity go? Can it go deeper and higher? It turns out that it can. The director insisted that the scenes that were later filmed by various movies were vulgar, from jumping and tearing all the way to chicken feathers, then jumped easily, and went to philosophical thinking. I was depressed with the male lead, stunned with the female lead, and tired and confused with the director. I asked three philosophical questions, what exactly is marriage? Where does it come from and where is it going? What is the relationship between men, women, human nature and marriage? With these questions in mind, I continued to follow the director to the end of the film and wanted to seek the ultimate answer to these philosophical questions. Of course, a thousand moviegoers have a thousand answers about what marriage is. But Master, no matter ancient or modern, Chinese or foreign, I think it is all figured out.

I want to briefly pull the 6 scenes and core content of the movie, and use this to analyze it and see if I can find the answers to these philosophical questions. Isn't there a famous saying that if you can explain the problem clearly, half of it has been solved.

The whole film is divided into 6 scenes or 6 parts, which describe what happened next after a so-called happy marriage went through the tenth year.

The first scene, titled "Innocence and Panic". The opening film tells the story of the happy marriage of the hero Joan and the heroine Marianne for 10 years. Joan is an associate professor and Marianne is a divorce lawyer. Their lives are very comfortable and comfortable, both materially and spiritually. They have two daughters. One day, they invited their friends Peter and Katerina to dinner. After dinner, the Peters began to quarrel, and the quarrel became more and more intense, until they insulted and abused each other, and then left in anger. It can be seen that this kind of quarrel is the norm between Peter and his wife, and their conflicts are both emotional and material. They struggled violently to leave each other, but in the end they couldn't leave because of the ties of real interests. A few weeks later, Marianne found out that she was pregnant unexpectedly, and Joanne seemed to accept it calmly, saying that she had no objection to whether or not to have the child, and there was no difference in her feelings. Make up your own mind. But in fact, after consideration, the two decided not to have the child. Through the Pitts and his wife, the audience can see what an already hideous marriage looks like as soon as they come up, and why people still don't choose to leave. On the one hand, the director used the mania of the Peter couple to set off the harmony of the Joan couple's marriage, and on the other hand, the accidental pregnancy was used to cast doubt on the seemingly harmonious marriage of the Joan couple.

The second scene, titled "Cleaning the Dust Under the Blanket." As is customary in family life, Marianne will go to her mother's house for dinner with Joanne and the children on Sunday, but Marianne does not want to spend Sunday with her parents However, this day, I proposed my own ideas to my mother, but my mother rejected it in the end. On the same day, one of Qiao An's female classmates came to the laboratory to find him. She had read the poems that Qiao An had been keeping secret, and she kindly put forward her opinions on these poems, but Qiao An did not accept these opinions and felt that Very disappointed. On the same day, a lady named Jacoby came to Marian for a divorce. She told Marianne that she wanted a divorce after 20 years of marriage. She thinks her marriage has no love, and this state wilts her feelings. Hearing her story, Marianne felt inexplicably disturbed. Marianne and Joanne had lunch together and offered to go on a trip, but Joanne didn't. In the evening, as usual, they started drinking, supper and self-confident night talk. They started talking about their deteriorating sex lives, but ended the conversation at the right time out of fear of the consequences of the problem. The couple, who have had ten years of experience in a happy married life, regard honesty as the key to maintaining a happy marriage, and believe that both parties have been working hard for it.

The third scene, named "Paula". From the first two scenes, you can already feel that in the happy marriage of these ten years, they have done their best to resolve each other's contradictions and differences, put down each other's hostility, and overcome the threat of reality. Then, one day, Joanne suddenly came to the country house where Marianne and her daughters were on vacation, and he told his wife in a flat tone that he had fallen in love with another woman a few months ago, her name was Paula. I chose to say it today because I'm going to Paris with Paula early the next morning, and I'll be there for at least eight months. Marianne didn't notice this and was terrified, as if she had made a huge mistake. She didn't know what to do, or even what she should ask at this moment. She only asked herself carefully by the instinct of a woman. Husband, "Is that woman young? Has her breasts big? Can I see her picture?..." Joan was still very frank at this time, he told his wife all the details, and talked about how to regain passion and sweetness When he was having sex, he showed an undisguised smile that was mixed with sweetness and shyness, just like a man who had just fallen in love confiding in his long-time friend. But in a blink of an eye, seeing his wife's helpless eyes, Joan's guilt made him violent again. He began to complain that this marriage relationship made him feel depressed and suffocated. As early as four years ago, all elements that were originally considered to be good, parents, friends, children, various parties, communication and sex were all denied by Joan one by one. . Joan kept wanting to make a clean break with the past. Joanne's choice of such a brutal confession was like a bolt from the blue when Marianne was unsuspecting. After struggling with emotions all night, Joan started to pack her luggage the next morning. When he was about to leave, Marianne began to force her to stay, but Joan chose to leave. After Joan left, Marianne called her friend helplessly, hoping that he could persuade Joan to return, but she found that many of Joan's friends had already known about Joan and Paula's affair, and she was even more affected. Double whammy.

The fourth scene, named "Deep Valley of Tears". It's been almost a year since Joan left, and she and Marianne have not formally filed for divorce. Marianne gradually came out of the pain, and then one day, Joanne called, and she invited him to have dinner. During the meeting, both of them were awkward because of embarrassment. After a while, Joanne told Marianne that the United States A university invited him to be a visiting professor, and said that he had accepted the job happily, saying that it was also a rare opportunity for him to get rid of Paula's shackles, and Paula's emotionality and aggressiveness had bored him. Marianne tried to tell Joanne some of her changes and thoughts on her life in the past year. The two seemed to understand each other, but in reality they had a lingering sense of powerlessness. They finally decided to go to bed, trying to explore a possible intimate moment, still feeling a heavy sense of powerlessness. So Joanne left, and Marianne was alone again.

Watching these two scenes together, the impact is very strong. You just saw Joanne's candid and cruel assertion that Paula was about to make a clean break with the "past" of Marianne, and soon saw him make light of the "now" of Paula's escape; you just thought that Marianne had stepped out of the past and became better, but immediately found that what she called becoming better seemed to be just to go back and win back the past. A man always wants to say goodbye to the "past" that he thinks is becoming bad, but a woman always wants to stay in the "past" that she thinks was good. Men keep trying to escape, but women always want to go back. Maybe both men and women need to use enthusiasm and passion to confirm that their body and soul are still alive and loved. But a man's enthusiasm comes from a fresh body, whether it's a new lover's fresh body or an old lover's reborn and fresh body, as long as it can continuously stimulate a man's physical desire, it is fresh and meaningful. . The passion of a woman comes from the inexhaustible love and enthusiasm that a man maintains the same desire for his body and soul. The man's body desires the woman's body, and the man's soul occasionally needs to be understood by the woman's soul, and at its own will. A woman's body longs for the mutual fidelity and caress of a man's body and soul, and a woman's soul longs for the lasting and eternal attention of a man's soul. But what about the actual situation? Men may only be able to pay attention to a woman's soul briefly through a woman's body. Without the medium of a woman's body, a man may really have no interest in a woman's soul, or suddenly become completely incomprehensible. Sometimes, men often mistakenly think that they are in love with a woman's soul, but they will find out later that it is only because they have not yet got her body. Can the soul of a woman understand the soul of a man? Such an attempt was made in the film, but the result given by the director was a failure. In the two conversations between Qiao An and the female classmates, they tried to complete the spiritual dialogue without sexual relations at all, but they did not seem to be successful. Women are interested in understanding the soul of men, but men neither agree with women's self-righteous understanding, nor do they want to resonate with it. So if a woman wants a man's attention to her soul to be lasting and eternal, she can only maintain the lasting and eternal attraction of her body to a man. Therefore, the communication between the sexes from body to soul is very laborious and inefficient. One side needs a medium, and the other side may be an insulator at all. Both sexes have been talking to themselves in their married life, and one side starts to talk, which actually means that the other side is completely incomprehensible. Perfect and efficient communication may only have a time window of just a few minutes. As the "happy" marriage goes on and on, women in general will become more and more eloquent and complacent, thinking that the more they say, the more they will be understood, but men have long been distressed and suffocated by these inefficient exchanges, and began to plan fled. I remember Zhou Xun was interviewed and asked, "What kind of man do you understand?" Zhou Xun smiled slyly and said, "I don't understand." Between the sexes, if you don't consider the constraints of ethics and morality, get used to the needs of survival, marriage The best trend seems to be from a short-lived soul mate, to a passionate sexual partner, to a harmonious life partner, and finally to a "happy" state of mutual respect or strangers. At any one of these stages, it is possible to go separate ways because of intolerance.

The fifth scene, named "Blind". Several years have passed since then, and Joann and Marianne decided to go through the divorce procedures. On a summer night, they met in Joann's office to sign the divorce papers. The signing of documents is far easier than they say. In the years after Joan left, Marianne thought she had finally found her true self, she was full of confidence in herself, and enjoyed her life, but Joan's life was just the opposite, his original plans and visions were all illusions For nothing, he was deeply resentful, frustrated and disturbed, and his relationship with Paula was always in conflict. Suddenly, he wanted to refuse divorce and return to the once happy and stable family. This triggered a fierce quarrel between the two, which also tore open the wounds covered up by both sides, and the conflict that had been backlogged for a long time broke out at this moment. Joan's emotions are out of control, and Marianne also hopes to see Joan's emotions out of control. Joan fights against Marianne, and Marianne also hopes that Joan fights against herself. Couples are like mirrors, reflecting themselves. Joan's rage at the moment is like the resentment that Marianne has held back in her heart for many years. Marianne accepts the beating like a masochist, just like Joan's guilt and remorse that she has been unable to express for many years.

The sixth scene, named "The World in the Midnight Dark Room". This is the final scene of the film and the final link in the marriage journey. After the divorce, the two of them remarried and returned to the position of friends again, with more respect and less complaints. Reflecting on the ten-year marriage life and the ten-year divorce life, can they help them find their so-called true self? Can these experiences and lessons make their respective marriages happier at the moment? It seems not. The only improvement is that people who have gone through failure have been able to accept failure and have learned to lie and silence, the two best strategies for maintaining a married life.

Finally, the two came to a friend's cabin. After they didn't belong to each other, the two seemed to have found their original freshness, beauty and enthusiasm, but Marianne woke up in a nightmare in the middle of the night, but she didn't know where she was. Can the burning hole in my heart be filled with illusions?

Well, here we are, let’s finally talk about what the married life tells us in the movie, where it came from, where it is going, and some features of the movie’s narrative.

First of all, this film's discussion of marriage is the first to remove all the constraints of ethics, morality, habits, and survival. It simply discusses what marriage is like and how it will go under the condition of material abundance and cultural equivalence. . The observation objects here are like two people in a glass bottle, a man and a woman, their original family, children, friends, career, etc. constitute the air in this bottle, and the composition of the air may be very complex , there is oxygen, there is carbon dioxide, they are sometimes happy in this air, sometimes depressed and suffocated, but the director has made them transparent, which is more convenient for the observation of the observation object, to observe the two genders in the body and the body. Interactions at the spiritual level. Finally, we can clearly see the impact of various complex external relationships in marriage, such as original family, friends, career, children and internal relationships, such as sex and emotion, extramarital affairs or sex, etc. on the direction of marriage and life. We should be able to come to the conclusion that the relationship between marriage and life is ultimately a relationship between self and human nature. Human nature cannot be corrected, marriage can only cycle in endless greed and disappointment, and everyone lives in fear, insecurity, and ignorance.

The film also explores the various ways in which a marriage relationship can survive. For example, those who rely on interests to maintain their marriage relationship, although this method is mostly despised by the world, they do it on the one hand and the other side. There is no aesthetic pleasure, but it is realistic and reliable; there are also people who rely on silence to maintain marriage relationship. , but silence is a dull knife, it will slowly kill love in the marriage relationship, and every party in the marriage relationship guards the wreckage of love, that is, the lonely life of marriage. Interests are not good, silence is not good, is it better to be honest? Joanne and Marianne's marriage shows that honesty does not lead to understanding, nor does it increase love and enthusiasm. In the end the lie won out. Lies strike a balance between silence and candor in ways to maintain a relationship. Lies reduce the excessive friction caused by candor and the silent harm caused by silence. The maintenance of marriage relationship requires methods and strategies. If you choose a certain marriage relationship, you must at least have some corresponding methods and skills. As a friend of mine once said to me, "If you and your husband are at odds, just treat him as an ordinary friend. Don't always try to change him, but avoid the so-called ideological level. Communication, it is enough to have communication that meets the level of daily life. If you always feel that you have chosen the wrong person to communicate with, you must choose a correct way of life. Stop talking and get along with yourself quietly is a way of life that will never make mistakes Then you will find that it is so difficult to change others, but it is really easy to change yourself." Although it is a bit negative, it is also a balance and compromise after constant trial and error. As individuals, men and women, don't expect any marriage to resolve or fill all the loneliness, fears, and insecurities that exist in the world. Marriage, like all other relationships, is nothing but a training ground for human nature. The limitations presented by the director in the final result are human limitations. So there is no way for humans to surpass themselves and give humans a non-human perfect solution.

The director's ability to unfold the various modes, aspects, and time trends of the marriage relationship like a picture scroll, and then gently roll it up, is supported by a strong sense of perception and observation. Of course, his experience is not lacking. It may be difficult for people who have not experienced several marriages to have such a profound and detailed experience.

Second, the film's narrative is fugue. Just like that kind of polyphonic music genre, let the two melodies dance freely on the keys. Men are a melody, women are a melody, they run away and chase each other. Neither from a male perspective nor from a female perspective, the director also erased his own values ​​from the film as much as possible, so that the audience can feel more "absolutely objective", and thus it is easier to start rethinking. How much a director can hide or erase his own point of view reflects the complexity of his thoughts and the superb level of narrative skills.

In addition, the picture presentation of this film is more concise than the stage play, but the lines and actors' performances are very complex in a cinematic style, which makes people feel that the main line is prominent but does not lose the sense of substitution. The film is not so much a story as it is a philosophical discussion of the marital relationship. You can replace Joanne and Marianne with any couple and there's nothing out of place. The film cuts off all the side branches in structure, so that the main line of the tree becomes very clear, it will not distract your attention and observation because of side branches, but at the same time rely on dialogue to make up your mind On to all the chopped minutiae.

Finally, talk about the few supporting characters and related scenes that appear in the whole movie. In a 5-hour movie, there are probably only a few places where other people appear. Peter and his wife who quarreled and left in the opening film; a female classmate who had communicated with Joan twice; Marianne's conversation with her mother about her parents' marriage and Mrs. Jacoby who came to Marianne's office for divorce. These scenes add up to about an hour or less. But it is these few supporting roles and scenes that together form a panorama of the marriage relationship in the world.

Peter and his wife, as the most hated marriage relationship in the world, appeared in the opening film, indicating that the one that is least appreciated by everyone is often the most realistic and existing marriage relationship. Marianne chatted with her mother about her mother's marriage years after her divorce from Joann. Marianne's father had died by this time. The mother recalled her silent marriage with embarrassment. My mother said that after the death of my father, life alone was no more lonely than when we were two. As for the two conversations between Qiao Ann and the female classmates, I regard them as two attempts and explorations between men and women, in the absence of sexual relations, whether the soul and the spiritual level can be communicated. But I think the answer given by the director is no. The director may have emphasized again that for men, the body of a woman is the only medium through which the souls of men and women can briefly communicate with each other. It's just that this medium is unattainable, and the effect of the same medium is always getting worse and worse.

Focus on Mrs. Jacoby. Mrs Jacobi, who came to Marianne for divorce, said she wanted a divorce after 20 years of marriage. She thought her marriage was unloving, a state that withered her feelings, and Marianne felt inexplicably uneasy hearing her story. Mrs. Jacoby said, "I have a picture in my head describing myself that doesn't match reality. I say to myself that I have the ability to love, but love is stuck in a bottle, and my life takes every chance at risk. Obliterated. Time to change that, the first step was divorce, my husband and I, cull each other out. Something very strange happened, my senses, my sight, my hearing, my touch, started to disappear, let's say this table , I can see and touch, but my senses are dry, gone, you know? Everything is assimilated, music, smells, faces, voices, everything, seems insignificant, in the dim, nothing Dignity." This sentence is like the judgment of the fairy tale in the dream of red mansions, it is revealing to Marianne the true face of the so-called happy marriage and the future direction, telling Marianne that the happy marriage you feel now is just a kind of fading away. phantom. Marianne felt uneasy, but Marianne was just like Jia Baoyu, at this moment, she couldn't understand the blooming flowers. Mrs. Jacoby played the role of a warning person, proclaiming prophecies and warning like ordinary people. Of course, no ordinary person can understand the warnings of the sages or the fairies. And Mrs. Jacobi is also a ruler. Perhaps Joanne's experience is the future of Mrs. Jacoby, and the ending of Marianne and Joanne is also the ending of Mrs. Jacoby. Mrs. Jacobi, as Marianne's warning person, foreshadowed the ending, and Joanne, as Mrs. Jacoby's practitioner, finally confirmed the ending. Although not shown in the movie, can we fully imagine that after a divorce, after escaping a blighted and suffocating marriage, Mrs. Jacoby can be redeemed? Maybe in the end, like Joanne and Marianne who have been entangled for 20 years, until the end, they failed to find their ideal self and their ideal marriage relationship. I still don't know where I am in the middle of the night. Mrs. Jacobi, like Joann, felt frightened and suffocated when she saw the dimming fire of life, but they all hoped that the fire of life that was still burning in others could help her own fire of life again. Ignite, exuberant, as in youth, as in first sight. But unfortunately, those who want to use the fire of other people's lives to keep warm may not lack fire, but fuel. But fuel can't be borrowed, you can only rely on your own hard picking and proper preservation.

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Extended Reading
  • Kiley 2022-04-24 07:01:25

    After smashing the illusion, you will discover the cruelest truth, and finally learn to compromise with the broken life. Narrow enclosed spaces, simple everyday layouts, suddenly enlarged close-ups, and compositions with overlapping eyes are alternately used in overlapping and separation of mutual love. Perhaps lovers will never be able to grasp the appearance of love, and only build a tower of lies to escape their own cowardice and helplessness. Loneliness brings marriage to a corner full of scars, but we still believe that someone can let us escape from the devil called life. The connection of souls may only be in one corner of the world, but it is worth making us risk our lives.

  • Elias 2022-03-24 09:03:48

    Must watch the TV version. The film version had to cut a few scenes, and the plot was interrupted. Full of inner strength. Marianne's desire to recover was very accurate. Jan Malmsjö as Peter is Alexander's father in Fanny and Alexander! deep impression. Bibi Andersson is too old to recognize.

Scenes from a Marriage quotes

  • Marianne: Sometimes it grieves me that I have never loved anyone. I don't think I've ever been loved either. It really distresses me.

  • Johan: I don't know what my love looks like, and I can't describe it. Most of the time I can't feel it.