Miki: The results are not the same

Lucinda 2022-04-12 08:01:01

"Riding the Bullet", life is an arrow that leaves the string, there is no turning back, no choice, just rushing to the same direction - death. We, like lining up to ride that roller coaster, maybe get on it, maybe not, maybe you I was scared and ran away, but the results were not all the same. We worked hard, but nothing lasted. There is no eternity in the world.

I remember when I graduated from elementary school, I spent the whole summer in Dali, watching the sunrise and sunset every day. When the tide ebbs and flows, you can see Cangshan and Erhai Lake and the beautiful scenery. That trip made me grow up and gradually learn to face loneliness, even though I am more vulnerable to sadness. From then on, I often stared at the distant scenes with a blurred expression, deeply indulged in the loneliness and despairing beauty of the fishing boat singing late in life, until one day, I found that loneliness has become an indispensable part of life. part.

I also found that I went to more places and met more people and things than my peers, even more than him and her at home.

One day, when I asked them, who had been gambling all night at the mahjong table, to install a key for my bedroom, I saw a group of ugly and vulgar adults, including a few other gamblers, curling up in the smoke With a numb and stupid expression.

In fact, after saying that, I regret it. I guess they must have laughed at me in their hearts at that time, either thinking that it was just a liu firefly flying by by chance, or that the child in front of him must be crazy.

Later, I wrote on the wall of the house with a brush dipped in ink: - What is this broken place? I hate it here!

Remember the firm determination to run away from home when you were young? Sure enough, the home wasn't enough to accommodate my growing fussiness and desires with age and physical growth. They couldn't satisfy me and I had to leave really and rightfully.

Basically from then on, no matter where I go to Bazi, rubber forests, coffee gardens, big lawns, Nanding River or even on my way to school, I will be noticed by strangers I don’t know. They seemed to have already known my escape plan. When they met me, they all smiled and smiled as if they were familiar with me. While saying something innocuous, they hurriedly covered their curious and prying hearts. Whenever I think this way, I always ignore them and everyone. In this way, I grew up and got a bad reputation for pretending to be aloof.

She said the same to me at home.

She also said: Why is it always unrealistic to be so lofty and unrealistic?

At that time, I saw my classmates being transferred to middle school in the county by their parents. I told him and her that the middle school in Bazi, in addition to letting the students go to weeding, was taking drugs. I hope they can also transfer me to a better school in the county. , even if you lend me a future, I will definitely repay it twice in the future.

The results can be imagined. They disdain and reprimand me, saying that I made excuses and that I didn’t work hard but blamed the school for not being good...

Unhappy life can always inspire a person to work hard. I felt lonely and depressed, but I was beautiful at school. I really thought I was a genius boy. It was in that distant and ancient age that my lonely life began to take shape.

Probably influenced by the residual concept of the educated youth going to the mountains and the countryside, every summer, the school requires us to carry hoes to the roadside to hoe wormwood. The climate in the dam is humid and hot, and the plants grow very fast. The mountains, plains, slopes, depressions, roadsides and any corners between the dams are lined with shady forests and dense vegetation, and people have no place to stand. The wormwood that was just shoveled out, grew three-thirds in less than seven days. At that time, I really sighed deeply at those wormwood that could never be hoeed. During the day I carried a hoe to kill the weeds, and at night I studied in a smoky, noisy room until the early hours of the morning, and then dragged my tired body to sleep amidst the crackling sound of mahjong and the noise. Tears always flowed down unsatisfactorily at that time. In order to practice my English taste, I would get up automatically at 5:00 every morning and read English aloud, but she yelled at me through the wall for something wrong, saying that I was showing off before dawn, and the neighbors couldn’t sleep well because of the noise. My eyes, red and swollen from lack of sleep, were weeping again.

After a few years like that, I became an excellent weeding expert at school and had a large number of classmates who smoked white powder. Of course, there have also been depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive syndrome, neurasthenia, insomnia that have accompanied me since then... I really have all kinds of diseases in one! It was finally invincible because of this.

I took on a series of responsibilities as class leader, study committee member, general subject representative, propaganda committee member, and art committee member in the school; I continued to maintain an amazing record starting from the first grade of primary school, and got full marks in the provincial language, mathematics, and foreign unified examinations. ; every weekend night, he went to the theatre of the troupe to participate in performances - that was the only spare time activity provided by the Bazili for the employees at that time; every day without looking at the name, just by the handwriting on the open book, the whole class of more than 40 could be divided. The classmates' workbooks were quickly distributed to their respective hands and were accurate...

Once, he and she did not go home at night, and went to the casino to gamble several nights in a row, but they still ignored me, but this time, they never Unexpectedly, the future I worked so hard to plan is about to unfold. They never realized that this moment has come so quickly!

——With the quality of teaching in remote villages, I won the city's top score in the college entrance examination, and received an admission notice from the best university in China.

I remember when I left that day, it was 5:30 in the morning, and the two people who came back from the casino in Hunhun Ee finally reacted and realized that they should send me off. It was dark, I lit a candle and stood on the side of the road waiting for the car, the candle was swayed by the wind, I saw that his and her faces were long gone because of the day and night gambling career, now in the ghost of the candle Appears more horribly old.

Bamboo shadows swirling, accompanied by this ancient land, the long-distance night bus lights far broke the darkness of the night, and gradually approached and approached me. The lamp is always a symbol of hope in the dark. I lowered my voice and said to them: I, again, also, no, will, come back, come, come.

Then left without looking back.

Farewell, my old master, goodbye, my good girl, goodbye, my beautiful boy... Farewell, my hometown in this life.

The candlelight behind them flickered helplessly in the empty darkness, and the story behind them drifted away. I will never know what their expressions will be after my words are spoken. I will never know. Just as they were unpredictable before: my absconding plan, which I had planned for years, finally became a reality at that moment.

In the days that followed, I started working part-time, and it was so difficult that I almost died. In those years, he and she might appear on the other end of the phone every six months, but they always brought me some bad news related to my hometown, for example: Your old master was gone three months ago.

From then on, before answering their calls, I had to hesitate again and again, because I found that my heart was gradually unable to resist the stimulation of creation. Finally at the end, for me, the news without them became the best news for me. The longest time I remember was three years. For three years, they were silent. I have no news from them and they have no news from me. When I think about it in my spare time, I even wonder if they are still alive?

Today, I don't need to care and worry at all, it will only increase my disgust and escape emotions. I'm used to being alone, and I'm not used to getting along with people. Except, in every night of insomnia, I still hear the sound of my heart dripping blood, one drop, one drop...

Yes, the frivolity of youth is limited after all. More than ten years later, I am back to this place where I had tried everything to escape.

When they came back this time, they called again through contact. That feeling, as if I was counting how fast the time passed with my fingers. Although they were around, their voices sounded not only unfamiliar and distant, but also humble.

I gave them some of my savings over the years as comfort. From that day on, you have to be polite when you talk to me.

Are they still gambling? I have no idea. There is no way, let alone knowing. I thought they conceded. They should have conceded long ago. They lost their whole life from the start.

These two people, he and she, once indulged in a flash in the pan and delayed their youth. They didn't know how to control their destiny, and they didn't know a spark in their lives, and each of us has a time to dissipate and leave.

I remembered a long, long time ago, the young and beautiful she had fragrant and beautiful flowers on her head, and the tall and powerful he held me on his shoulders and walked happily through the crowd. They tell me stories. It is said that in ancient times there was a nine-year-old prime minister named Gan Luo, who was too young to meet the emperor at his father's feet.

The emperor smiled and said: the son will make the father as Ma
Ganluo: The father hopes that the son will become a dragon

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Extended Reading
  • Madelyn 2022-04-20 09:02:57

    Neuropathy does not give up treatment

  • Gregorio 2022-04-19 09:03:18

    Saw it many years ago and was very impressed. It's not a great movie, but it had a big impact on me at the time

Riding the Bullet quotes

  • Alan Parker: Shit, one more life or death seems pretty insignificant in the greater planetary scheme of things.

  • Jessica Hadley: Now, who loves you?

    Alan Parker: My mom.

    Jessica Hadley: Who else?

    Alan Parker: Ehm, baby Jesus?

    Jessica Hadley: Funny. Who else?

    Alan Parker: You?

    Jessica Hadley: I guess you've got prove of that, don't you?