Please consciously follow the principle of "You will lose if you are serious", and welcome to take a breather together.
I seriously and passionately recommend this movie! In 150 minutes, it will make you look rosy and refreshed, which is really a wonderful way to warm up in winter! Not only can you exercise your body, but you can also increase your wisdom. The highest cost is only 70 yuan.
Let us act and promote the "Red Brokeback Mountain" series to create an insurmountable new high at the box office!
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1. Before the movie starts, it's too long to be ridiculous advertisment. From mobile phones to computers to cars to KFCs... Almost all the necessities of life for human beings have appeared once, and Mercedes-Benz has even appeared twice.
"...I understand, the film is 150 minutes long, and 120 minutes are commercials."
...
5 minutes later, when we thought the commercials were finally over, a line appeared, "The above ad is provided by XXXXX. The following ad is provided by XXXXX ..."
With the following? !
Another 5 minutes passed. In the last advertisement, the familiar thieves of the red broken wall cottage came out to meet everyone one by one. Kong Ming (...) with a peach blossom in his eyes slightly fanned his feather fan, and a Minsheng credit card appeared.
...everyone is tired of human nature.
2. Fortunately, the feature film has finally started. It started with a recap of the last episode. The layer-by-layer torn paper is very artistic, and the effect is also very good, so that this trick is used repeatedly in the subsequent scene switching...
3. Since then, I realized that Duan Xiaolou and Cao Cao are the same person. After the performance, my feelings towards Zhang Fengyi became very complicated.
To be honest, in this movie, the actors' performances are all very hard and in place
... It is necessary to act this script in such a way. Really hard work.
In other words, there are Zhang Fengyi, Hu Jun, Tony Leung, and Zhang Zhen in this movie (…).
"Why is there no Liu Ye?"
"...He is in the steamed bread and the golden armor."
4. Cao Wei Football Club. His style of play is fierce, his style is rough, and his tactics are more sturdy than the national football team of this country after 2000.
"...Hey, isn't this really a cameo for the national football team to earn extra money..."
"...Director Wu dare not, what if he accidentally gets hurt, there is no place to find someone to pay for it..."
Again: I haven't watched the drama Everyone has been guessing what Tong Dawei is doing. We guessed a lot of answers, but didn't expect him to be the captain of the football team (holding the forehead).
The captain of the football team was promoted to captain... Does this imply that Xie Yalong will have a prosperous official career?
5 Little swallows appeared. Hello little swallow! Xiaoyanzi bumped into the fifth elder brother... I'm embarrassed to cross, it's the captain of the football team.
Here is where the famous line is triggered,
"What are you doing?" (simple and honest smile)
(returns a simple and honest smile) "Free life."
(simple and honest laugh twice) "You are so kind. Listening to your accent, you are from the South, right? "
(Nodding honestly) "Yes."
"Southerners are enthusiastic."
"Northerners are dashing."
"Sa...I'm a bit stupid."
...Do you two really want to take this route? . Simple and honest and mentally retarded are not synonyms.
Translate Hello. "Fat Pig PIGGY" and "Rice Bucket PIT"... Is this really okay?
What is "riding high"? !
Someone said: "Isn't this kind of contact able to see through the identity..."
"...Oh, it turns out that the IQ is lower than 80 to avoid revealing the stuff."
6. Jiang's side is Cuju, Jiang's side is throwing pot. ... The martial arts school has the fighting style of the martial arts school, and the Wendou school has the fighting style of the Wendou school.
... Director Wu, please respect yourself. Even if you want to show off the talent and ingenuity of a certain pair of people, please let the NPCs at least reach the IQ level of Forrest Gump.
...Mr. Hou Yong, please respect yourself. After all, Lu Zijing was Zhou Gongjin's handkerchief. In the words of Mr. Yi (...it's Yi Zhongtian, I'm wrong), the Longzhong who wrote the Soochow version can be regarded as the Soochow Kong Ming... Don't become Fan Wei just because he is simple and honest (again!) !
All in all, after a round of foiling, the omnipotent pair began to "conversation of eye contact and love", and began to make plans with the husband and wife wherever they were.
7 Cao Ying died because of typhoid fever. ...the extras have worked so hard.
"Wait, isn't there "Treatise on Febrile Diseases and Miscellaneous Diseases" in the Eastern Han Dynasty?"
"Yes, isn't Hua Tuo still alive?"
"...Wait, how can I remember that Hua Tuo was killed by Cao Cao that year?"
… ...Oh, don't care about things that historians don't know about. In short, those people (corpses) are going to be sent to the other side for no reason.
By the way, in "The Red Brokeback Mountain", the wind direction still has the scientific and rigorous (...) reasoning obtained by Mr. Zhuge from his observations, and the direction of water flow is where it wants to flow. It's no problem to float over and over... Could it be that the ships at that time were equipped with unmanned directional devices and power units?
8 The corpses have come. The extras swarmed up once again, and countless alluring cities rushed to the steamed buns on the deceased's body... Ah, it's not something valuable or useful on the body.
Suddenly, Zhuge Wuhuan appeared. He held a chicken feather fan in his hand (...oh yes, Wuhuan also has a fan), stepped forward, took the silver needle and tried it at some place...
Who can tell me what happened to the typhoid fever when the silver needle was tested? ! (Well...it may be possible to try it out...Looking to the sky)
Zhuge Wuhuan shouted loudly for everyone to leave, and then the one from their family came to help, and countless alluring cities scattered like birds and beasts...
Come, come, let us sigh again: from the kitchen to the hall, from the political economy to the midwifery decathlon... Ah, Mr. Zhuge, who does not "know a little", is a model for a new good master in the new era! Replaced all the Zhou governors and shouted,
"Marrying a wife should be like Zhuge Liang!"
9 The dead should be burned (Hey! Kongming lanterns are not ever-bright lanterns! You are mistaken!) A
temporary clinic was set up. Little Joe's new debut! Wait... In this shot, Lin Zhiling doesn't seem to be wearing makeup... Mr. Zhuge is still working diligently around his apron...
Suddenly, Liu Bei, who has a simple face, is leaving. [The following lines are only for the general idea, and the version in parentheses is the version after the author's misinterpretation]
Sun Quan: Wait! How can you go? Didn't they say they had formed an alliance? (Didn't you all agree to match your Mr. Zhuge with my brother Zhong? After a few days, what are you going to do after drinking wedding wine!)
Liu Bei: We can't afford to lose. (Who is marrying you! Your family is so poor that you can’t get any oil or water. I also hope to make a fortune through Ah Liang’s marriage! Let’s not talk about that, now your family is sick, in case of infection What should I do with my family's Ah Liang? Be careful when a happy event turns into a white one!)
Sun Quan: You don't talk about your credibility! (I've sent out all the invitations, you want to quit! You can't say it sooner! If you're not sincere, what are you doing!)
... Arguing is futile, it's time to leave.
Zhou Yu: "I, Zhou Yu, have been fortunate to have worked with you for three lifetimes, and everyone has a smooth journey." (It's not easy for you to come all the way, just go back first, anyway, A Liang will not leave.) In the
end, Uncle Hu Jun finally Still don't forget to smile, "We will have an appointment in the future."
... Zhou Yu is right. A Liang really stayed. "We are all lunatics." (As expected, you two still can't resist the temptation of passion! Hey!)
Liu Yuzhou, you are the one who lost your wife and lost your army (referring).
By the way, in the last episode, the camera really liked to turn the faces of the Governor and Zhuge, but in this episode, the still camera is changed to the enlarged profile of their faces, which are almost less than 10 cm apart (…). The result is that we have been shouting: Come closer! Come closer!
...note the impact (forehead).
In fact, I really want to vomit what is going on in this period of violation of history. No matter which book it is, when did Lord Zhuge, who is a model of loyalty to the monarch and patriotism, abandon his protagonist... But think about it, forget it ( look up). Taking this film too seriously is against the golden rule of "take it seriously and you lose."
10 Okay. Now there are fewer people on Soochow's side, so there are fewer arrows... Hey, do you just draw out the grass boat to borrow arrows like this (thumb. Wu Dao, you really can)
... But what's going on with this dialogue? ! "I'll take this responsibility... What if I don't do it? (Oh, of course, I compensated with my body~~)
"You have to do what you promised me... Cai Mao and Zhang Yun's heads"
a friend said. Daobao Tianji: Look, if Zhuge Liang can't get the arrow, Zhou Yu certainly has a reason not to kill Cai Mao and Zhang Yun, so that they can die together... Hey, do you really yearn for this kind of death. The sick beauty is also very cute, but I wanted you not to die on the hospital bed, but to die on the battlefield with Bo Fu~
The common sense of history is popular; pay attention, in the "Three Kingdoms", there is a historical record of Zhou Yu's true heart The object of the relationship is actually Sun Quan's older brother, Sun Ce and Sun Bofu~ That "Brother Zhong" was made by Mrs. Sun herself to change Sun Quan's words
. , drinking, flirting, and sending Jiang Gan to seduce Zhou Yu to greet Cai Mao and Zhang Yun... In addition, Xiao Yanzi and the former football team captain are still very happy.
Jiang Gan... Even if his face grows a little bit longer, it's still the use of "beautiful" in "Three Kingdoms" Adjective "beautiful man modified (...Speaking of "Three Kingdoms", it seems that in addition to being really sorry, all adjectives are added to different degrees of beauty), what is it like to find such a wretched uncle to play. In addition... ...What's the matter with that song.
Zhou Lang is a misunderstanding and looking back. Zhou Lang is melody. But...
"What is Xiaoniu Moo..."
This is definitely a lureer who opposes the lure technique. The drama... In the end, Zhou Yu, who danced the sword dance and performed a sketch, won an overall victory and tricked someone into bed...
"...Where is Lin Xiaoqiao? "
Well, although it doesn't make sense, I still have to say that in "Three Kingdoms", Zhou Yu [touched Jiang Gan's back] and said, don't come to persuade me, even Su Qin and Zhang Yilai won't work. TOT
12 should finally borrow arrows. The little turtle that appeared in the upper part came in handy again... Mr. Long live even has a lot of functions as pets. It is an excellent companion for home travel and an all-purpose assistant for work and leisure.
In the grass boat... "Oh! This is the Dongwu cottage Kongming and Kongming's deity!" (...you're enough)
Lu Su...you...you go back to your hometown with the grass-man brother to get married!
13 Consciousness has active creativity and conscious choice: When seeing the ship full of arrows, the science students thought of "chromosomes! Chromosomes!", I thought of popcorn...
14 The prime minister has lost his temper! Lost!
It's subtle in the sentence "...and it's Cai Mao's style."
But when he said, "...Prime Minister, without them, what would the Navy do..."
...I feel sad for Cao Cao. [You can insult my character, but you can't reduce my IQ]
... Cao Mengde, Cao Mengde, why did you appear in this movie!
15 "My youngest son, 13 years old, his name is Cao Chong..."
...I just find this sentence and the name "Mantun" very happy...
"Aren't they afraid of infection now=="
16. Counting arrows The picture is full of joy. The number 99600 is even more joyful.
"It's not enough, what should I do?" (You see 100,000 is not enough to pay for your life, and now there are 400
pieces, come and come, just give me your body) "Dispose of it according to the law." (Never! Oops! Oh, I 'know a little')
... I always felt that those soldiers came back after a circle...
"What should you do if you didn't do it?" (Sample, want to fight with me)
" Dispose of it according to the law." (Cut, it's not just this trick, everyone will do it, you see I'm still drawing my sword...)
...Looking at the sky again, that pigeon came by coincidence.
17. Wind direction problem. The famous line appeared: "I know a little bit about everything, and my life is more colorful."
...
"(raises his hand) Teacher, I followed the words of Prime Minister Zhuge seriously, and I know a little bit about every subject~"
"This is My classmate, you have done a good job, then the teacher will give you more colorful scores for each subject~"
18. The fat pig came back from the rice bucket... That part made me feel like "Painted Skin"... I admire you Lost (hey).
...is it really okay for the gang to turn around?
19. Actually, the Sun Quan brothers and sisters are very cute CPs... (Hey)
20. Lin Ping'an just went like that... (Like Lin Pingzhi). Lin Pingan's back looks like a dementor (hello).
The governor "mourned Jing'er".
We are silently reciting: "The carved railings are still there today, but Zhu Yan has changed." Hey, we have crossed again==
Then..."I have gone, Yang Liu Yiyi..." (It doesn't fit at all==)
21 .sweet dumpling. Zhang Fei's Tang Yuan!
22. Zhang Fei: "I've never said [Second Word] in front of you, I'm going to say it today..."
23. Tangyuan. Soochow's glutinous rice balls...
Huang Gai: "Dear, Xiao Zhou, don't cry, I'll give you glutinous rice balls..."
Gan Xing: "You are a good man... Come, give you glutinous rice balls..."
Several soldiers: "Commander! Xiao Qiao is leaving. There's still us! Zhou Yu's support club will always support you! Ahhh~~~"
... Tony Leung has worked hard.
24 Zhang Zhen classmates. Sun Quan's classmate. Please...don't speak TOT.
It feels like a Japanese army officer is shouting: "Down with the Japanese devils."...Jiangdong seems to be a little farther from Fusang... But your accent is very telling, since the Three Kingdoms, the Fusang Kingdom has been an inseparable part of our sacred territory.
25. Prime Minister Cao is actually lolicon... Obviously, when he saw Xiao Qiao growing up, his heart was broken...
"You can't stay on yesterday's day, today's day is so troublesome..." (==You've had enough and crossed again)
26. "Don't make trouble."
...I don't want to say anything at all.
27. On the other side...everyone is preparing in various ways.
In fact, I have always wanted to ask who Gan Xing is == is it my Ling Tong and their Gan Ning? !
... Nakamura Shidou, you can do it. You can stay silent. Kou Guyue, who made you stand there with a face of bitterness and hatred! Give me back Gan Ning! ! !
Also: In fact, my mother's hometown has a kind of hometown dish that is made by burying some things in egg shells, burying them in the ground and then digging them up...
28. Huang Gai: "The Governor! Would you like to hit me with 50 large plates?"
... Director Wu, don't spit out your own groove! Although "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" is already ridiculous, don't try to laugh at it in this way to appear rational! This movie is obviously romantic! We have become accustomed to your moderate lyricism, moderate exaggeration, and moderate artistic re-creation and re-processing! You are detached from the masses by adopting realism at this time!
29. Ah Liang, your orchid finger is so scary...
30. "...Does the red hairs on the Governor's helmet mean anything?"
"...Two flowers, each with a statement?"
"...It's just a hair. It's ..."
"...It's actually an antenna..."
"Yes, it's an antenna... It's used to communicate with Ah Liang..." (Hey, do I really want to continue using the name Ah Liang==)
32... Director Wu, I beg you, please don't let Huang Gai die on the red Brokeback Mountain. Who did Sun Quan send to fight when you made Yiling rebel? There is also Gan Ning, unwilling to be happy...
33. During the fire attack, many people jumped into the water...
Friend: "It turns out that diving in China has been brilliant since this time..."
34. The same person: "(Fire Attack that part) This is the Carrefour Pirates, right?"
... The extras worked hard.
35.......Actually, the theme is the post-Olympic era: there are football, diving, swimming, archery, shot put, javelin, triple jump and pole vault on the battlefield...
36. Uncle Hu Jun, you are the male version of Isinba Yeva...
37.... Gan Xing charged forward with two pieces of gunpowder...
"... Dong Cunrui, eighteen years old, participated in the revolutionary guerrillas, bombed the bunker, died, the task of the revolution was completed..."
38 .Oh oh oh oh oh ~~~~~~ Handong and Yaohui are back to back...but why are you two back to back (powerless).
...Speaking of which, I'm really surprised, Yunmei and Yu Meiren are absolutely loved by both the official history and the game with love. Why are these two acting...
39. "Are you all safe?"
...You are safe! All of you are safe!
40. In fact, the action scenes are very good. The tons of TNT are definitely enough, and the visual effects are also good... But for this film, these are far from the highlights~~~~~~
41. Finally... Mr. Zhuge, are you going to Xiang Ning on the crew of "A Chinese Ghost Story" Did Caichen borrow the clothes?
42. "Kong Ming...don't let Mengmeng go to the battlefield~"
"Aliang, be good friends with Mengmeng~"
...The world is hopeless...
43. The theme song is finished in two sentences... ..."For a long time, we will reunite... If we are together for a long time, we must divide..." Just like what the two of them said at the end (Wang Tian)
... In fact, Zhou Yu later offered Sun Quan a plan to do something to Zhuge Liang, anyway, it was harmful to him... As a result I met Bo Fu before it was implemented...
[Sun Ce is angry: No, Gong Jin! Everyone thought you had an affair with that pig! If this goes on, 1.3 billion people think so! Even the author of this article wants to defect, I don't want to, my grandfather is the original match... You, you, come back to me...]
Finally... it's over. (Exhausted TOT)
In fact, the name of this movie is "The Past Story of a Group of Bandits in the Red Broken Arm Mountain Village"
As I said, the essence of "shanzhai" lies in the subtle [paradox] of cola~
above. bow.
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