Columbia University, I don't know whether it is because it is a dream place itself or because of the incidents of Wang Leehom, Li Yundi, and Sister Milk Tea. This not very romantic name is a bit ambiguous now. Perhaps it was on such an ordinary day, like thousands of stories, that the beginning was just a smart 14-year-old boy who got an offer from a prestigious school. The teenager who is about to step into Colombia is called Allen Ginsburg. Black eyes and a bubbling turtleneck were almost the norm at the time, did the childish Ginsburg notice? In the library, in the corner of the classroom, there is a pair of evil eyes. Those eyes were as sharp as swords and blurred as yarn, and if they pointed at something, they pretended to be talking about him. Oh my God, how could I ignore him, the charming voice line, dark circles under the eyes, if there is no smile, light like a swallow and flirtatious like a flower, the bohemian temperament is natural, every gesture is full of teasing and seduction. Perhaps, self-destructive beauty is more indulgent than pure and healthy beauty.
"It's hard to say a word." He failed his mother's expectation of returning home. Ginsburg was in pain; "I like complexity." Lucien's eyes were focused and serious.
He is an elf from hell, with an angelic face and a devilish heart, he is his beloved Arthur Rimbaud, a born goblin, who came to the world and tricks the world, or he is Lucien Carr, the unique Lucien Carr.
"Finally, he saw the oasis of this barren land," he hesitated; "have you read Yates?" He moved gracefully like a prince; "Look, here it is, our life is a Circle, we cycle between life and death, only you break it, touch, the world becomes wider", there are stars and sparks in his eyes; "Oh, Kings" he called his name softly, "Are you a writer? If you are a writer, here's a job for you."
I don't know if Lucien in history is really like what David said when he was jealous, wanting to launch a cultural movement but Don't write a single word; or as Ellen Ginsburg said when he was heartbroken, he was incapable of realizing his dreams and needed them to help him achieve them. They were what he needed but not wanted. But what I've seen of Lucien, he's really good at seduce and enjoys it. David loved him miserably, because he gave up his life and followed him to the ends of the earth, and he couldn't hold anything else in his eyes. Ellen loves him miserably, writing crazy for him, dedicating himself to a woman he doesn't love, and looking at his half-smiling eyes can climax. Jack loves him miserably, because he abandoned his girlfriend and he went to capture the "Bastille" in France, and was imprisoned for being implicated. He could call their names softly, tease their souls with a magical voice, drop his panties at David's place, and put his mouth around Alan's fingers that stroked his hair. His wild and uninhibited temperament and fatal attraction are what he relies on, and they are willing to do things for him, not willing to let go. He's never going to tell half the truth, he's flirting with his new love the second after he broke with his old love, because he's a goblin, and once you think you've done it, he'll go looking for someone else.
But whether it's William Burroughs, Jack Kairouac, Ellen Ginsburg or even David who was killed by him, they don't blame him. Because his dreams are real, his sorrows are real. It was he who gave them an extraordinary life, and his dreams gradually became theirs, and he was also struggling on the edge of pain, unlike the way he looked when he joked. When he was 4 years old, his father abandoned him. Who can say that he didn't really give anything, it's just the feeling of irrelevance, the feeling of being abandoned, and no amount of love can pay it back. He is a top student in Colombia. He is awake. When he is drunk, he has one eye open, but his dreams and dreams are wet, as if it has just rained.
By the river, he said to Alan in tears, "I'm only good at starting"; in the dark cabin, he leaned on Alan's lap and said to him, "Write something, the first feeling is the best feeling. , write something, for us."
He is different from them, they have the gift of creation, even if they don't know where the torrent of fate will push them. And what about him? He has a shore, but no wings to fly high. This beautiful face, he not only wants to be seen, he wants to be important, to attract attention, and to be famous all over the world, "How many people did the Renaissance start?" He asked William like this, he is not Arthur Rimbaud after all , he has no talent. Good wind relies on strength, he has no choice, or rather, he chooses to deceive. He is a poisonous poppy with crazy ambitions, but his articles are not a requiem for the heart, fate or the curse of the devil, so he needs them, write down his thoughts, and spread his ideas. He is so unwilling, he spurns mediocre people and hangs pictures on the wall to commemorate history, pretending that he will not be forgotten by the world, what he wants is excellence, immortality, and a revolution like the Renaissance , he wants to be an extraordinary person. However, tears wet his eyes, he is only good at starting, he needs works.
At the age of 19, Verlen shot Rimbaud, Rimbaud took him to court, and the two broke up. Also at the age of 19, Luancikar killed David Kamal. I don't know if it's true that Lucien Carl tried to commit suicide with a bed sheet in the movie. He personally killed someone who was deeply infatuated with him and who he once loved. Carl, do you really care? Do you really think it was an honorable killing? He saved your life, when you turned on the gas to commit suicide, he just loved you madly uncontrollably, he just gave up his life and even his life to follow you, you stabbed him in the heart, you stabbed him in the heart Sinking into the bottom of the river, he just looked at you like that, there is no resentment, only sadness, you are the beloved Lulu he protects, you are his all, he was all yours, you once loved back, you It also sinks into it, whether it is the body or the soul, once you fall in love, it is like a circle, a circle that cannot be broken free. After countless struggles, it returns to the original point. It's just that in this total eclipse love, you want more, you are not a pure homosexual, you want a normal life, you are young and crazy, you are eager for turmoil, you are eager for revolution, and you want to be remembered in history.
William and Jack were imprisoned for being implicated. After being released on bail, they only went their separate ways. Ginsburg learned about your past and was hurt by your ruthlessness. He turned and left, and began to examine his own life. . Finally you are alone, the empty cell door, the cold bed.
We have all been carried away walking in the desolate picture of life, forgetting that loneliness is its true color, the starry sky we look up at is still bright, but the wishes made in the night sky are like drifting bottles thrown into the sea, and finally drift with the current. In fact, never-ending debauchery is as tedious and hopeless as never-ending work.
After 18 months, Lucian was released from prison with the smallest punishment as a heterosexual, miraculously led a normal life, married and had children, and his career was booming. He became a senior editor of United Press International. He must have seen it too. In the nightclub where they were having fun, three of his best friends were already calling the shots. Ellen Ginsburg is one of the most awarded poets in American history; Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" with Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby", Mark Twain's "Huckleberry" The Adventures of Finn is equally famous and is also a treasure of American literature; William Burroughs is known as the master of punk rock. They fulfilled his dreams, and he taught them to live in this way, cynical and free. Their creative ideas originated from him, they are spontaneous and chaotic, their works do not follow the conventions of traditional creation, their structures are disorganized, and their language is rough or even vulgar. This is a revolution, a revolution of subcultures, they are the "Beat Generation", they will not be forgotten by history, and they have had a profound impact on the Western world.
In a sense, Lucien Carr's dream came true for them, but what about himself? He seems to be deliberately distancing himself from them, and his friendship with them has been close and far since he was released from prison. Allen wrote "To Lucien Carr" on the title page of his first collection of poems, Howl, however Lucien demanded that he be removed in later editions. William and Jack each wrote a novel about him, but Lucien pressed him not to publish the stories until his death in 2005. Why are those eyes that yearn for stars willing to hide in the darkness, and why are those hearts that are turbulent like tides quiet and unwilling to make waves again. Who can be truly ruthless, he doesn't read Rimbaud, but he still loves to drink, and his memories are too heavy, as heavy as David Kamal's corpse full of stones, sinking deeper into the bottom of the lake...
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