So far, I've seen the 15th episode of the first season, sitting in the dark and empty school dormitory, from last night to this evening. My roommates were all home for the holidays, and I didn't want to go home at all.
The first time I watched this drama, it was last year, and I didn't feel anything. After watching the second episode, I thought it was something. It was a mess, and I didn't like it very much. Yesterday, I picked it up again, and suddenly hit my spot. I saw tears in several episodes.
However, most of the time I cry, not because I am moved by the delicate and beautiful family love in it, but I cry when I see the beauty in the play and compare the pain caused by my family of origin.
Seeing that Jack was drinking more and more late, Rebecca said seriously to Jack that you can't lower the average score of our family, you have to solve your own problems. So later, jack took out the moon necklace representing their theme song and gave it to Rebecca, and promised that I would solve my problem and quit drinking. The two smiled at each other and kissed happily on the floor of the home. The children got up and opened the door to see the two of them. They thought that their parents were playing fold high and jumped up happily.
When I saw this, I cried, thinking that my parents would only use very ugly swearing at each other and throw things to express their dissatisfaction with each other. They almost never showed their love to each other in front of me. As a result, when I hear someone arguing or even talking loudly, I can't help but be afraid. I burst into tears thinking that I still don't know how to love someone and I'm afraid to love someone.
Seeing Jack and Rebecca take their 3 kids to the pool, Kevin almost drowned trying to get his parents' attention. Afterwards, Kevin said angrily and sadly to his parents, "You always pay attention to whether Kate is eating too much or whether Randell always thinks he is adopted. No one ever pays attention to my feelings." After speaking, Jack immediately pulled Kevin aside and said I am sorry to him seriously, I cried.
Because my own parents never thought they were wrong when they did something wrong, either they blamed me for being ignorant, or they used a sense of guilt to make me feel that I was actually wrong. It was as if my parents and I were always two classes, I had to bow my head and obey everything, and I didn't even have any dignity at home.
Not only these two places, but also Rebecca was so anxious because of her pregnancy that she forgot Jack's birthday. After Rebecca made a birthday cake and prepared gifts, she sat on a chair and said to the triplets in her stomach. My dad is the most perfect dad in the world, and you will definitely be his number one fans when you come out. However, jack kept secretly recording with the camera, and slowly came out and said to Rebecca, dear, you are so beautiful.
Seeing this, I couldn't help crying, and I thought about it a lot, wondering if there really is such a beautiful love in the world? Does it really exist? Shouldn't these things all appear in fairy tales? I don't believe it, I stubbornly think that this is just a TV series, and that it is necessary for artistic creation. I think that all men in the world will cheat, and it is impossible to love his wife with all his heart. By this time, I became Olivia in the play, because of the bad family of my origin, I couldn't accept or could not stand the existence of beautiful love and family.
This kind of feeling has happened many times in my life before I watched this drama.
The most recent time was during the winter vacation, when I went hiking with my friends, and when I came back, I was at the train station. Two of my friends had their parents come to the station to pick them up. Their parents greeted us with a smile and gently took down the I picked up their luggage, patted their shoulders and asked if the journey was tiring or not.
It was already 8 o'clock in the evening, and it was very inconvenient to get home from the station, so my mother urged my father to ask him to pick me up at the train station. Since he came alone, he has been a Didi driver before, and he knows where people who pick up the train station usually park for free, instead of paying an extra 5 yuan for parking in the parking lot. So, my dad sent me a location on WeChat and asked me to use the AutoNavi map to find where he parked. I don't know if there is a problem with the navigation or what, no matter how many navigation changes, it can't guide me from the main road to where he parked. No way, I had to go through the green belt.
In the process of navigating, my dad kept calling and urging me to say why I haven't found it yet. I had to pick up my pace on the muddy path, but because it was too dark and there were no street lights beside the path, I accidentally tripped over a stone in the grass, and even fell out with the person and the box, and the screen of my mobile phone shattered. In the end, with all the dirt on my body, I finally found my dad's car.
In the car, my dad kept scolding me for being stupid, saying that he used to be able to find this place with guests, but you can't find it. If he waited so long, he would have gone to college for nothing. I can only tell him, I really can't find the navigation, I suddenly thought of my friend's parents coming in to pick him up, and said something to my dad. Then he was very angry, saying that the parking lot does not need money, you have to use your brain when you go out, and you can't find someone to ask for directions if you can't navigate. When he said it, the tone was very fierce and very ugly. I fell into mud and the screen of my mobile phone cracked. He still scolded me like this, and suddenly felt very wronged and couldn't help crying. When my dad saw me crying inexplicably, he was even more annoyed and scolded even more fiercely.
It sounds like a small thing, but really, I had a good time going out to play, and when I got home, I was very tired, so I wanted to wash up and go to bed quickly. After such a tossing, I just feel that it is better to spend time with friends outside, and it is really painful to go home. Later, when I went back and cried all night, my dad didn't say anything when he got home. He should think there was something wrong with me. I would cry over such a small thing. My mother also came into the room and persuaded me to say why. And I am really sad not because of this, but because there is no one in my family who can understand me and respect my feelings.
Recently, I was watching Wu Zhihong's "Why Family Hurts". It said that when dealing with family relationships, we should learn to respect the feelings of family members. When I was browsing Weibo yesterday, I saw that some mothers are now directly and unscrupulously letting relatives and outsiders see the nakedness and body of their children. These things make me wonder if we should start a home education class for soon-to-be parents. As a parent, why can't you respect your child and your child's feelings?
Saying these is just my own emotional catharsis, after all, I can't say it to my parents. I only hope that I can learn how to love a person now, and then meet the right person in the future, marry him and have children, manage my relationship seriously, respect each other and my own children, and live an ordinary life. I hope that the next time I watch this drama with him, I will be full of emotion.
View more about This Is Us reviews
