What I am surprised is that, as a prostitute, I have a grudge against my boyfriend's physical infidelity. I don't mean to discriminate against prostitutes by saying this, but based on the following analysis: having a physical relationship with a client is only the professional content of a prostitute, and she doesn't mind who enters her body, as long as the price is negotiated. As a pimp, it seems to be a normal workflow to "inspect" the customer before doing business. When people who are engaged in these two professions become lovers, prostitutes can't tolerate their boyfriends entering other people's bodies.
This brings us to a topic we discuss most often: In an intimate relationship, most people emphasize their exclusivity to each other. Morally, it is loyalty to your partner, both physically and mentally. Ever since I started writing, I like to ask why for everything. Have you ever wondered why we ask for the exclusive use of our partners? Is it just that morality requires us to be this way and that we are this way? That would be boring, the vindicator's favorite explanation.
To understand this, we must first understand why intimacy is necessary. When we start liking a person, what actually happens is that the body's hormones (dopamine, etc.) start to secrete supernormally, making you feel excited and want to be with that person all the time, so that the hormones can continue to be secreted, and you can get satisfaction. Two people have been in a close relationship for a long time, and you are not as excited as you were at the beginning, because you are used to that level of hormone secretion, and to get you excited on the basis of this level, you must Need to find other sources of stimulation. And this long-term intimacy has also made you accustomed to having such a person by your side, and you will no longer deal with it when you are eating, because there is another person waiting to appreciate your cooking skills and stay home when you want to spend the weekend. One day, I quickly dismissed this idea, because the two still have a long-awaited movie to watch, and they can see a lamp that lights up for themselves after returning home from get off work every day. Because of the existence of the other party, your life becomes more exciting, your loneliness is dissolved in a certain sense, and of course your most basic desires are also satisfied. I think that's why people need intimacy. There are also many people in this world who do not need intimacy. They are wonderful alone and have their own reasons for being single. We will not discuss too much here.
So why do we emphasize exclusivity? It is nothing but worry: the person who has been with you for a long time can no longer be on call, because when you need him most, he may be with another person, and you will feel abandoned and lonely; Relationships may bring you sickness. Because of these two concerns, you should never allow your partner to cheat. As we just said, the other party is used to the level of hormone secretion when they are with you and is no longer easily excited. They will look for other sources of stimulation. Of course, there are many kinds of stimulation sources, but cheating is one of the strict moral walls. Very small door cracks, the feeling of sneaking into the door cracks gives them a strong sense of stimulation, which is why people cheat, just like some people are addicted to same-sex love because it is a forbidden area of customs, taboo Love gives pleasure. There are moral emperors who would say that people are conscious and can control their own bodies, and derailment is your lack of self-discipline. I would like to say that we have sacrificed too much freedom consciously and unconsciously for the normal operation of this society. Those freedoms must be surrendered in order to build a civilization. People feel extremely strong after surrendering their freedom. Bondage and pressure, looking for another source of stimulation is not because people can't control their bodies, but because people don't want to control them anymore.
Going back to the title of my article, "Open Relationships", if you and your partner have reached an agreement: no matter what, we will not let each other feel abandoned and lonely, and we will not bring each other on the principle of being responsible for each other. With any physical illness, an open relationship is possible. The movie "Professor Marston and Wonder Woman" tells the open relationship between Professor Marston and his legal wife and his female student. The three love each other and have five children together. The family is happy. live together. This movie is actually the true story of the inventor of the lie detector, the psychologist Professor Marston, who historically also played SM games with his two intimate partners, and for this shocking relationship Lost his teaching job to become the cartoonist who created the heroic character "Wonder Woman".
Of course, I am not advocating cheating or open relationships, because not everyone has enough energy, wisdom and psychological quality to deal with complex multi-person intimate relationships, and not everyone wants to waste time dealing with emotional entanglements. On, they have more important things to do. However, when a civilization is sufficiently developed, it must be able to accept open relationships, and the idea of "open relationships" may not be so far away.
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