Watching this movie came from a half-rotten female classmate who had Mew in her headshots and photo albums, chasing him and their band madly, and even went to Thailand last summer vacation. She said that she had watched the movie twelve times and cried eleven times. The one time she didn't cry was in an Internet cafe, and the people sitting next to her couldn't stop laughing.
When I watched this movie, I was also in an Internet cafe. It was the first semester of my freshman year the year before, and I couldn't bring a computer in the dormitory. A friend in the same bedroom was sitting beside him. Secretly click on this video about comrades, and dare not go full screen. Watching it with great trepidation. Finally, I saw Mew crying stupidly, and then my heart was ups and downs. At that time, there was not much I wanted to say to write a so-called film review, and it seemed that I couldn't find more words besides sighs.
A year later, when the sophomore year was almost over, in the time after "The Little Thing of First Love" became popular, I suddenly remembered this "Love of Siam". I feel like there is something to say. Nothing but sighs.
I want to talk about the ending of this movie first. A year ago, I and so many people were also seriously hurt by the sad words: "We still don't want to be together, but that doesn't mean I don't love you". Watching Mew say thank you, watching the puppet nose Christmas present that Tong handed over, watching them waving goodbye, watching Mew stick the puppet's nose up and laughing, watching Mew cry and laugh Say thank you. A year ago, I would stare at the final subtitles, and my heart would go up and down with the music. A year later, I will laugh, then close the video, take out a pile of dirty clothes and wash them one by one, and after washing, watch "The Big Bang Theory" and find something to fill my stomach.
It’s not that I haven’t been moved, I’m still moved, but after I’m moved, I will turn around and say to myself, “It’s not like this” or “It’s not good like this”. why? Because after that? What about after Mew? How much courage and strength will he use to bid farewell to the one in his heart? In the time and years of a long life, what can make up for this regret? What ritual will this lifelong farewell be continued?
For three years, I also had such a three-year period of simple movie memory. There has been unparalleled sweetness and struggle, and there has been pure and pain that will never be seen again. They are relatives, brothers, lovers, classmates, and friends. In the end, in this changing city, there is still no escape from the storyline called betrayal and cheating. We walked out of the room on a cold winter morning and walked in two directions. I thought "pat the butt and leave", for me, it shouldn't be a difficult thing. But in the end of the night after that, I slapped my ass countless times and sat back down again. Not tough enough? Yes, not harsh enough. To myself, to him, and of course to another her.
Struggling for so long may be called cheap. There is a very important reason for this scumbag of mine. Like the closing sentence of "Love of Siam", the sentence he gave me was: "You are always the most important one." I hate words like that. This sentence consumes all my strength. This sentence wiped out all my ruthlessness. This sentence drowned out all the hatred and pain I had stored for a long time. No hate, no pain, so how do you let me go? How can I say goodbye to you from the bottom of my heart? How can I fill those hollowed-out memories?
So please be cruel to me and don't show mercy.
There is a story in Buddhism, which is that a person can't let go, so he found an eminent monk and asked the eminent monk what to do. The monk brought a cup for him to hold, and then poured boiling water into the cup. When it was full of boiling water, it didn't stop. The boiling water overflowed and scalded his hand. He finally let go of the cup. The monk said: If it really hurts, let it go. Yes, pain, you may not be able to let go, but if it really hurts, you can let go.
So, let's think about it, does Mew in the film have pain? have. Does it really hurt? uncertain. Because in the end he still knew he was loved and loved each other. So if you want to let go, it is a very, very hard or impossible thing. So what is this long life to be like? How to walk through this long night and day step by step? There may be many jobs and dreams still filled with blank time, but what about the corners that were filled and emptied in an instant?
I can't imagine.
I also struggled for a long time. It's a simple sentence or two, but I'm afraid only myself can understand the hardships involved. It's funny to say, but the moment of letting go is very simple: I believe he doesn't love me anymore.
It is precisely because I know that such a thing is under a lot of pressure, and it is precisely because I understand the preciousness and rarity of three years, that I will strive for it again and again: let's start over. It is precisely because I am afraid that I won't be able to meet this kind of fate again in the future, and it is because I believe that you still love me, that's why I insist again and again: I'm sorry, I made the wrong call.
The tricks are played, the self-esteem is lost, and the face is trampled. Then suddenly I believed that you didn't love me, and at that moment it suddenly became clear. Wash your face, what else to do. Amazing thing.
A few short sentences, how much time it took. "Only I know how time crawls through my skin."
So I wish Tong hadn't said that to Mew, just as much I wish he hadn't said that to me. If you really have to separate, whether it's because of pressure, family, or society, when you decide to let go, don't be merciful, don't say anything, and let him believe that you don't love him. It hurts so much, he can stand up after the pain and start again.
Mew once said to Tong in bed, "If we love someone deeply, can we afford the day we have to be separated? And separation is a part of life, and Tong understands it well. Is it possible, Tong? Yes. Maybe we love someone, but are not afraid of losing him? At the same time, I am also thinking, is it possible that we are alive, but do not love anyone? This is what I call loneliness, loneliness has been with me for five years, how is it possible Don't you understand the cruelty of loneliness to me? And what will my life be like in the future?"
Tong, why don't you take back the last sentence you said to Mew.
Mew, why don't you be brave enough to love.
You, why don't you take that sentence back.
I, might as well, continue to believe in love.
Let's do our best to love and pain.
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