Alice Hung

[Darius joins Jeff and Arnau in the motel lounge bar, where Jeff has shown Arnau how to Facebook friend an old girlfriend of Jeff's]

Jeff: Here she is. Look at you, you went all rogue. What did you get?

Darius: Got his name, where he works.

Jeff: Great.

Darius: What did you guys get?

[Jeff points to the Facebook page]

Jeff: She accepted, but, uh, no photos, so I'm not really sure.

Darius: What?

Arnau: He came here to hook up with an old high school girlfriend.

Darius: [scornful] Seriously? That's what you've been doing?

Jeff: Well, I've been doing other stuff, too, but.

[Jeff takes a sheet of photos out of his pocket, with bravado]

Jeff: Maybe this will change your attitude a little bit. That's her. When she was 18, and I used to see her naked.

Darius: So?

Jeff: So I'm coming back to try to see her naked again.

Darius: I'd be weirded out if some guy tried to track me down after 20 years.

Jeff: I'd be weirded out, too, if some guy tried to track you down.

Darius: Why?

Jeff: Who would do that?

[Jeff approaches Kenneth's house. He clearly has not done enough research, and acts like a smiling, bobbing idiot]

Jeff: Kenneth Calloway, right? Is that right? My name is Jeff.

[He extends a hand to shake, which Kenneth ignores. Jeff is grinning too much]

Jeff: Look, I saw your ad in the, uh, Classifieds. I want to know if you need a partner.

Kenneth: What's your mission?

Jeff: What do you mean, what's my mission?

Kenneth: What's your reason for going back?

[Jeff has changed from smiling maniacally to frowning]

Jeff: Oh, well, who wouldn't want to go back? It's an amazing opportunity. To go back in time, you know? See gladiators, and watch dinosaurs with my own eyes. Have sex with a pilgrim? That's all I wanted. I want to go back. It's neat. Who wouldn't want to go back, Kenneth? YOU want to go back. Why do YOU want to go back? Well, do you need a partner?

Kenneth: Can you look fear and danger in the eye?

Jeff: That's an odd question.

Kenneth: Have you ever stared fear and danger in the eye and said YES.

Jeff: Sure.

Kenneth: Get off my porch.

Jeff: Let's start over. Come on, we can be pals. Let's go back in time.

Kenneth: Man, that smile. What is that smile? You don't know pain, you don't know regret, you don't know...

Jeff: [agreeing with everything and leaving with his arms raised] Okay. Well, look, it was really nice to meet you.

Kenneth: [grimly] That's what I thought.