Ray Collins

Larry: Look, Moe, we owe you an apology.

Moe: No, fellas, I'm the one who owes you the apology. I know sometimes I tend to fly off the handle and...

Larry: No, you don't.

Moe: Yes, I do.

Curly: No, it's just that you get a little upset and...

Moe: [Moe flicks Larry and Curly on their noses, and then he slaps Larry and Curly] Shut up when I'm apologizing!

Larry: We don't have time for that! Teddy's in a jam!

Curly: Yeah, you know that woman who wanted us to take out her husband?

[Curly gasps and hisses]

Curly: She's married to Teddy!

Moe: No wonder she wanted us to smother him in his sleep!

Curly: Yeah.

Moe: I knew I smelled a...

Snooki, JWoww, Sammi: A rat! A rat! Eek!

Moe: [Moe picks up Nippy, Curly's pet rat] That's no rat, it's Nippy! How you doing, buddy? Aw, I missed you too, Nips.

Larry: Come on, we got work to do. We got to get to Teddy before his wife does.

Moe: Come on.

Curly: [Curly chuckles, and rhythmically snaps his fingers] Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Rrowff!

Moe: Come on, Romeo!

[Moe pulls Curly out of the studio by his ear]

Moe's Hip Executive: Are you kidding me? There's three of them?

Ronnie: How's that Whynatte?

The Situation: This is, like, my fourth or fifth.

Sammi: What happened last night?

The Situation: What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.

Moe: Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?

JWoww: Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.

The Situation: [laughter] Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?

Ronnie: Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.

Moe: Oh, you don't like that cheese.

Ronnie: No.

Moe: Well, let's see what we can do about that.

[Moe picks up the cheese grater]

Ronnie: What are you doing?

Teddy: [watching "Jersey Shore" from his bedroom with Lydia] Oh boy, here we go.

Moe: [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot] How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!

Ronnie: Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!

Moe: Here's your pepper. Shut up!

[Moe slaps Ronnie]

The Situation: My man!

Moe: Who asked you, muscle-head!

[Moe quickly finger-pokes The Situation's eyes]

Sammi: Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!

Moe: Oh, no? Well, can I do this?

[Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]

Sammi: Hmm, rare bouquet.

JWoww: Are you kidding me? Who does this?