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Ruby: You know, when you want to, you can sure do a good impression of an old fart.
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Art Selwyn: Joe loved the beach.
Ben Lucket: He didn't give a shit about the beach. It was them smooth legged girls in them dental floss bikinis, that's what he liked.
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Art Selwyn: How'd you guys sleep?
Joe Finley: Alma didn't sleep a wink.
Art Selwyn: You're kidding.
Joe Finley: No. Neither did I.
Art Selwyn: You dog!
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Art Selwyn: There's no justice! If there were, it'd be *me* in there instead of her! *I'd* trade places with *her* in a *heartbeat*!
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Art Selwyn: Beautiful beach, a sunny day and good friends. What more can a man ask for?
Joe Finley: [Pointing to young girls in bikinis] Can I have some of that please?
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Jack Bonner: You're my favorite Martian.
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Bernie: You work all your life, you pay taxes, you're a good citizen, and what do you end up with? A tight rug.
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Ben Lucket: Last one in is a pantywaist!
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Ruby: Most people our age are a pain in the ass.
Bernie: Most people our age are *dead*.
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Bernie: Here is an eagle who just found out his teenage daughter is pregnant.
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Joe Finley: I'm so tired.
Alma Finley: [cries] Then go ahead and rest dear.
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[about the pleasing shock of suddenly seeing all of his long-away friends again]
Bernie: For crying out loud!
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Doctor: Mr. Selwyn?
Art Selwyn: [about his wife, Bess] That's me, Doctor! How is she?
Doctor: She's fine, considering her age. And the fact that she's six weeks pregnant.
Ben Lucket: [Chuckles, and to Art says] Why you smutty ol' devil.
Doctor: [Shaking Art's hand who's babbling "Pregnant?"] Very impressive, Mr. Selwyn. This one's definitely going in the books.
[Art is gladly congratulated by his friends]
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Ben Lucket: [talking to David] It looks to me like what you're doing is listening to a lot of people tell you you can't do it when maybe what you should be doing is listening to yourself say that you can.
Cocoon: The Return Quotes
Extended Reading
