Every Day Quotes

Ernie: You were never able to take criticism either.

Jeannie: I think it depends on how it's given.

Ernie: There's no easy way to give it. It's like medicine. You just take it... if you really wanna get better.

Ethan: Will everybody at the prom be gay?

Jonah: Yeah. That's why they call it the gay and lesbian prom, moron.

Ned: I don't want you dancing with college kids. Period.

Jonah: What are they gonna do? Rape me?

Jonah: I'm not interested in being with someone who's older. I... I just wanna dance with other people who are gay.

Ned: I think I'd rather talk about the smell of pee.

Garrett: There is nothing unrelatable about sex with animals. I know a lot of people who've done it.

Brian: Sex with one's dog is the new sex with one's cat.

Ned: [to son chatting the on the Internet] You're not talking to people you don't know, are you?

Jonah: Uhh, you mean potential pedophiles?

Ned: Mm-hm.

Jonah: Just ones that live around here.

Jeannie: Ned...

Ned: I think he should change, or he can't go.

Jonah: This is what people wear to a dance.

Ned: Why don't you just go in a jock strap?

Jeannie: You're being ridiculous.

Ethan: You can sort of see the outline of your penis in those.

Garrett: Are you done?

Ned: To a crisp.

Ernie: They're good, your boys. They're beautiful.

Jeannie: I'm very lucky.

Ernie: Sometimes luck has nothing to do with it.

Ned: You look good.

Jeannie: I feel old.

Ned: But you look good and that's the main thing.

Jeannie: [after Ernie has berated Ethan and forced him to leave] He's just beginning it, Dad. It's a very difficult piece.

Ernie: [Angrily] If you learn it wrong, it's twice as difficult.

Jeannie: He's playing for enjoyment. He's not planning on being a professional.

Ernie: Well, the, guess it doesn't matter how he plays. You were never able to take criticism either.

Jeannie: I think it depends on how it's given.

Ernie: There's no easy way to give it. It's like medicine. You just gotta take it if you want to get better.

old woman at retirement home: Are you moving in, Hon, or just visiting?

Ernie: We're all just visiting.

Robin: [Asking about Ned's home situation] Two kids?

Robin: Three. My father-in-law's the youngest.

Jeannie: [Epeaking about Ernie] I don't even like him.

Ned: You're a good daughter.

Jeannie: I'm a guilty daughter.

Ethan: Is Grandpa Ernie gonna eat every meal with us?

Ned: Only if he's good. If he's bad, we force him to eat in his own room - excuse me, your room.

Jeannie: [Solicitously at the dinner table] Do you want some salad, Dad? You must be hungry; you haven't eaten all day.

Ernie: [Sourly] I need my shit kit.