James and the Giant Peach Quotes

Spider: [eating the peach] Mmmmm. Better than ladybugs.

Ladybug: What?

Spider: Excuse me.

Earthworm: It's not dirt...

[takes a bite of the peach]

Earthworm: But it's not bad.

[on his experience of the world]

Centipede: I did live between two pages of The National Geographic. Very informative magazine, the National Geographic. Lots of nice pictures.

James: Please, sir, how do I get to the Empire State Building?

Hard Hat Man: You're on top of it, kid.

James: We made it!

James: [solemnly] Well, I made it.

Grasshopper: This is an outrage! You are a disgrace to your Phylum, Order, Class, Genus and Spe...

Centipede: Say it in English!

Grasshopper: You, sir, are an ass!

[Spiker and Sponge are outside the peach, looking for James]

Aunt Spiker: Where are you? You detestable little worm!

Earthworm: AAAHHHHHH!

James: Not you, ME!

James: When I had a problem, my mom and dad would tell me to look at it another way.

Earthworm: How? First, I was bird bait, then I was shark bait.

James: I suppose, but you could say you gave us wings to fly, and defeated a giant shark single-handedly.

Earthworm: No-handedly.

James: You're a hero.

Earthworm: I am? I'm Wonder Worm!

James: You are!

[the bugs and James have landed in the ocean]

Spider: We are in, what you call, the Big Puddle.

Aunt Sponge: Here he is. Get up, you little worm! We sent you out here to kill a spider!

Aunt Spiker: Not to laze about.

James: I wasn't lazing about, I tripped.

Aunt Sponge: How dare you disagree with us?

Aunt Spiker: Beat him, Sponge!

[comes to him, grabs him]

Aunt Sponge: [sighs] It's too early.

Aunt Spiker: Well, that makes you the luckiest boy alive. Now, come inside and get dressed!

Aunt Sponge: I look and smell, I do declare, as lovely as a rose. Just feast your eyes upon my face, observe my shapely nose. Behold my heavenly silky locks, and if I take off both my socks, you'll see my dainty toes.

Aunt Spiker: But don't forget, my dearest Sponge, how much your tummy shows!

James: What are they?

Old Man: Crocodile tongues.

James: Tongues?

Old Man: Long, slimy crocodile tongues boiled in the skull of a dead witch for 40 days and 40 nights. And, the gizard of a pig, the fingers of a young monkey, the beak of a parrot and three spoonfuls of sugar, and then, let the moon do the rest.

Spider: We are in the middle of the, how do you say, the big puddle.

Centipede: Biggest puddle of 'em all, angel fangs - the Atlantic Ocean.

Old Green Grasshopper: Technically, the Pacific is the biggest.

Centipede: Well, that goes without saying.

Centipede: Biggest puddle of them all, Angel Fangs. The Atlantic Ocean.

The Grasshopper: Tecnically, the Pacific is larger.

Centipede: Well... that goes without saying.

[James has discovered he has changed]

James: It's like he said: Marvelous things will happen.

Glowworm: Did he say, "Marvelous pigs in satin"?

Grasshopper: No, dear lady.

[He takes out a megaphone and speaks through it]

Grasshopper: Marvelous things will happen.

[to James]

Grasshopper: Poor Glowworm, she's a little deaf.

Earthworm: I, on the other hand, have exquisite hearing.

Centipede: Oh, yeah? Well, listen to this...

[He spits into his many hands and grabs the megaphone and yells into it]

Centipede: LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!

Innocent Girl: Can we touch it?

Aunt Spiker: Touch it? You want to touch it?

Aunt Sponge: She'll be wanting to taste it next.

Aunt Spiker: [Tears up ticket] Admission refused. This child has too many cheeky ideas. Go away!

Aunt Sponge: Quite right.

Centipede: Let the biddies come! I'll take 'em both on! I'm undefeatable. I'm indivisible. I'm...

[James falls on him]

Centipede: ... in trouble!

Centipede: I've sailed all the five seas. From the land of Bora Bora to the icy shores of Tripoli. Commodore Centipede, they used to call me.

Grasshopper: Seven.

Centipede: Huh?

Grasshopper: There are seven seas, and Tripoli is in the Sub-Tropics, Commodore!

Centipede: Trim the sails!

Ladybug: There are no sails.

Centipede: Start the engines!

Earthworm: There are no engines.

Centipede: I can't work with this miserable crew!

[Gazing at the giant peach]

Aunt Sponge: Can you smell that, Spikey? It smells delicious!

Aunt Spiker: No! It smells like... money!

Earthworm: We gotta get out of here. We'll be turned into living statues.

Grasshopper: *Dead* living statues!

Centipede: I'm crazy about mosquitoes on a piece of buttered toast/And pickled spines of porcupines and a great big roast!/And dragon's flesh, quite old, not fresh, it costs a buck at most!

Glowworm: Does it come with gravy?

Centipede: It comes to you in barrels if you order it by post!

[in the darkness]

Earthworm: [Centipede pinches him] Ow! What was that?

Centipede: Sorry, I thought you were the spider.

Grasshopper: [Miss Spider hits him] Ouch. What was *that*?

Miss Spider: Excuse, I thought you were the Centipede.

Old Green Grasshopper: Oh this is all my fault.

Earthworm: Hey don't take all the credit, I helped too!

Centipede: Hey, Glowworm, how 'bout some light?

Glowworm: I can't hear you. I'll have to put my light on.

[the compass is lost during a storm]

Grasshopper: We'll be blown off course!

Centipede: We'll wind up in Jersey!

Miss Spider: No one will be eating you James.

Centipede: Naw, she'll just puncture your head and suck out the brains.

Miss Spider: That I am saving for you.

Centipede: We're not lost.

Grasshopper: Then where are we?

Centipede: Somewhere up north. Or, possibly, very far south.

Grasshopper: What's your latitude? What's your longitude?

Centipede: Hey, hey, hey! That's personal, bud!

[the Beat Cop has been asked the phone that what the large fruit is]

Beat Cop: Mabel, we got us a huge, unidentified object here.

Mabel: What's a look-a-like?

Beat Cop: Round, fuzzy, It looks some like a giant fruit or something.

Mabel: Well, what is it?

Beat Cop: I don't know what it is! Just send us the biggest crane in New York!

[he hangs up]

[everyone is discussing how to get the peach to New York]

James: We could... No, it's stupid.

Grasshopper: Compared to what?

James: Well, I suppose we could fly out.

Centipede: He's right. It's stupid.

Earthworm: Great! We'll be stuck here until we starve and die.

The Grasshopper: Highly improbable.

Ladybug: Well, that's encouraging.

The Grasshopper: We are far more likely to drown.

The Grasshopper: No-one is going to squoosh you, old boy. You're six feet long now.

Earthworm: Bigger targets.

[the centipede is being stretched out by the pirates; one approaches with an axe]

Centipede: It's Paul Bunyan. He's come to cut me some slack. Hey, aiming a little low, aren't you, buddy? He's going to cut me in half!

James: We'll always be together, right?

Centipede: Kid, you're stuck with us, for life.

Aunt Sponge: You lazy bug! Who told you to stop working?

James: I finished the wood.

[Aunt Spiker snatches his travel book and sees it]

Aunt Spiker: A travel book? How dare you even dream of leaving.

[Spiker and Sponge grabs his arms to get him up]

Aunt Sponge: This is the only home you'll ever had.

Aunt Spiker: No one else would tolerate a worthless little nothing like you.

[She gives to Sponge]

Aunt Sponge: [sees his travel book] Where did you get this? Where?

James: Father gave it to me. He said we were go there one day.

Aunt Spiker: Stupid foolish man.

Aunt Sponge: Foolish man, always dreaming. That's what got him killed.

Aunt Spiker: And your mother.

Aunt Sponge: Had his head in the clouds instead of looking where he was going!

Aunt Spiker: He never even saw that rhino coming.

Aunt Sponge: That rhino!

Aunt Spiker: And the beast will get you too, if you don't behave.

Aunt Sponge: [ripping his travel book] Now, get these stupid dreams out of your head!

Aunt Spiker, Aunt Sponge: And get back to work!

[first lines]

Old Man: This is James Henry Trotter. He lived with his mother and father in a cozy little house by the sea.

[last lines]

Old Man: And that is exactly what you have just seen.

Aunt Spiker: [In New York, as James is about to reveal the aunts' cruelty] Come along. You're going home with us.

James: No, I'm not.

Aunt Spiker: [Skin Cracking] What did you say?

James: I said... no... I'm... not! I hate that house and that cold room and how I was always hungry.

Aunt Spiker: All right, that's enough!

James: And how you beat me!

Aunt Sponge: [Gasps] He's lying!

James: And told me I was nothing!

Aunt Spiker: Shut up!

Aunt Sponge: Shut up! Shut up!

James: No, not this time! I flew the giant peach across the ocean. I landed on top of the tallest building in the world. I made it! I'm not the one who's nothing. You are! And I'm never going back with you! Not me and not the peach.

Aunt Spiker: How dare you speak to us this way.

Aunt Sponge: Aaah!

[the aunts-turned-enemies grab axes and fight James]