Iván: How many men have you had to forget?

Pepa: As many as the women you remember.
Pepa: Follow that cab!

Cabdriver: I thought this only happened in the movies.
Pepa: Hello. I'm the mother of the notorious Crossroads Killer. When my son comes home after one of his famous crimes, his clothes are just filthy.

[Pepa holds up a bloody shirt. The police arrive]

Policía I: Where are the clothes your son wore...

Policía II: At the time of the murder?

[Pepa takes a clean shirt out of the dryer]

Pepa: Right here. Sparkling clean.

Policía I: No trace of blood.

Policía II: Or guts.

Policía I: Unbelievable!

[Pepa holds up a box of detergent]

Pepa: Ecce Homo. It's unbelievable.
Pepa: You could have killed yourself!

Candela: That was the idea. I'm desperate.

Pepa: So am I, but I don't jump off terraces.

Candela: I didn't know where to go. I couldn't face my folks. It's bad enough that I became a model.
Carlos: What happened?

Pepa: She fell asleep.

Candela: So suddenly?

Pepa: Yes. The strangest things can happen suddenly.
Candela: Men keep taking advantage of me. I always realize it when it's too late. Look how the Arab world treated me. I sure didn't deserve that.
Pepa: For two days everyone has been saying no to me. Now it's my turn to say no.
Pepa: That lady is dangerous.

Cabdriver: No lady's dangerous if you know how to handle her.
Paulina Morales: You're weak, Iván.

Iván: Yes, sweetheart.

Paulina Morales: Don't agree with me.

Iván: But you're right.

Paulina Morales: Sometimes I like to be wrong.
Pepa: I'm sick of being good.
Ana: I'm fed up. I'm gonna get myself some quick cash, buy myself his bike and split. With a bike, who needs a man?

Pepa: Learning mechanics is easier than learning male psychology. You can figure out a bike, but you can never figure out a man.
Policía I: What's going on?

Pepa: Nothing. Just discussing the lady's dress.

Candela: [in tears] It's awful!

Carlos: It's only a dress.

Candela: But it's awful!
Carlos: [Carrying Marisa, who has passed out, onto the patio] But a minute ago...

Pepa: A minute ago she wanted to go home but since you ignored her, she got depressed and had some gazpacho.

Carlos: Ah. That made her fall asleep?

Pepa: Yes. It was spiked with barbiturates. Sorry.
Paulina Morales: She must turn herself in, go to jail, and let the jury decide her case.

Pepa: I don't understand.

Paulina Morales: She's committed a crime.

Pepa: Her only crime was falling in love and being afraid. I'd do the same.

Paulina Morales: I'm sure.
Iván: Life means nothing without you. - Will you marry me? - A million nights wouldn't be enough - I can't live without you. - I love you, desire you, need you. - That night in the jungle was heaven. - Let's get married again. - You're the geisha of my life. Sayonara. - With you by my side, I don't need success. - I'm willing to accept you as you are. - Baby, some things are unmistakably American. - I'm all yours. - I accept you as you are.
Iván: How many men have you had to forget? Say something nice. Lie. Tell me you've been waiting for me - and you'd die if I didn't return. Say you still love me as I love you.
Pepa: Did Iván call again?

Secretaria: No. Forget him, honey.

Pepa: I'm working on it.
Secretaria: You're making a fool of yourself.

Pepa: Well, a little more won't hurt.
Lucía: [on the phone] How dare you call here!

Pepa: Don't yell at me. I just had a fainting spell.

Lucía: I don't care if you drop dead!

Pepa: Look, Iván and I are finished.

Lucía: Fuck off!

Pepa: Fuck off yourself!
Pepa: You must think I'm crazy.

Carlos: No. You're just nervous from a lack of sleep.
Pepa: Young people don't know how to fight for things. You think life is all pleasure. Well, it isn't. You have to suffer a lot.
Pepa: Bring me my tranquilizers from the kitchen.
Candela: Three months ago, I spent a weekend with a guy. I didn't know his name or anything, but, after he left, I couldn't get him out of my mind.

Pepa: What happened that weekend?

Candela: Nothing special. We fucked the whole weekend. Just thinking about it gives me goose bumps. It was like a revelation. Like making love for the first time. I loved it.

Pepa: Sex means a lot at your age.

Candela: Because he's like a terrorist, he's more intense than other guys.
Candela: He confessed that they are Shiite terrorists. I flipped. I really did. I knew it could be dangerous, but I didn't think about it. What's worse, they had weapons and were planning to attack somewhere. Then I said to him, "You should have told me about this." That's when I realized it was a ploy. He didn't love me. He used me.
Pepa: In my house, I collaborate with whomever I want.
Pepa: We'll come back in a week. You'll go to to court and tell everything, except for the fucking, and that'll be that.
Pepa: Lady, you're nuts! Between Iván and me, there's nothing but pain.
Candela: You're a kissing fanatic!
Portera Testiga de Jehová: I'd like to lie! The bad thing about my religion is that we can't.
Portera Testiga de Jehová: [singing] I love the sound of the trumpets on Judgment Day...
Pepa: I'm not interested in Shiites.
Ana: She's going for his balls!

Pepa: I think she's just trying to hang on.
Taxista: I'm a taxi driver, not a bounty hunter!
Pepa: You just woke up, but I haven't slept in two days.
[last lines]

Marisa: I was a virgin this morning, but I don't think I am now.

Pepa: Don't tell me one of these jerks...

Marisa: No. It was in my dream!

Pepa: Great! Actually, you've lost that hard look that virgins have. Virgins are awful.
Carlos: [after finding out the gazpacho is spiked with morphine] Why did you do that? Were you trying to kill yourself too?

Pepa: No. It was for your dad. He loves gazpacho.
Lucía: [to the police] Take me back to the hospital, that's my home.

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown Quotes

Extended Reading

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown short comments

Gerardo 2022-01-07 15:54:03

The Spanish uncle Jose recommended, although it is Almodovar, which I like, but I really don’t like this movie. It should be regarded as a noisy comedy, trivial and trivial, I can't stand it anymore, I want to fast forward. The female characters are very interesting and a little glamorous.
Marcelle 2022-03-26 09:01:10

Always the usual absurd ending. . . It's just why the women in this movie look like men disguised as women