At the beginning and the middle of the movie, Aileen showed her violence and bad-temper in her characters. That made it hard for her to realize her problems and real difficult. I even feel no sorry for her horrible experiences at all. There is a line said by Selby's aunt in this movie: “Lots of people have bad lives but they still choose to move towards light.” Aileen did tried her best to move to a new life but it seemed her temper made it in vain. However when she killed the old man who really wanted to help her, I came to understand her desperation, her fight and her efforts to be a good person. However, it's too late and she already “has no way to go back”.
The narration of Aileen at the end of the movie left me in tears. Not until that time did I realize that Aileen did love Selby not just a word but in her heart. Aileen once said: “In my life, it's always being the harmless stuff that hurts the most. Whilst the things so horrible that you can't even image is usually a lot easier than you think. Not really know until you already stand there." After hearing this sentence, I suddenly realize that the harmless thing may refer to Sebly. We all agree that Sebly brought hope and love to Aileen. Aileen was attempting to commit suicide but after meeting Sebly, she changed her mind. Although it's not clear enough to know why, we can see Aileen felt love and need from Sebly. She wanted a new life with Sebly. To a certain extent, Sebly rescued her. However, is it the truth.? Sebly asked too much from Aileen.When Aileen told Sebly that she quit hooking, Sebly asked why. Even Aileen said: “You(Sebly) don't know my life, but I know yours”. It's true that Sebly never understood Aileen even seldom tried to. All she wanted is “a happy normal life”. But she didn't know Aileen cannot afford it.
When Sebly pointed out Aileen in court, there was no sign of love in her eyes at all. The sentence at the end “Aileen and Sebly never spoke again” showed the real end of Aileen's life and her hope. “Life counters all, every cloud has a silver lining, faith can move mountains, love always runs away. Everything happens for reason. While there is life, there is hope." Aileen sought love for whole life and she had her own definition of love. It doesn't matter to argue whether she was a gay or not cause she has own way to weight it.
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