I will probably have to wait until I am very old in the future before I dare to admit that I have nothing. There is no love, no friends, and relatives are long gone. At that time, I will not feel sad, but will only feel very tired. I finally fully accept this kind of life. I don’t need to smile hypocritically, and I don’t need to work hard to gain recognition. You no longer need to pay attention to anyone or anything, just stay with yourself quietly, look at yourself, and take a closer look at how you have nothing. Time is no longer precious, and it doesn't matter if the world is beautiful or not. I will find myself so failed, and my long life has been wasted so quickly, but I have no regrets. I don't want to start all over again, I just want to end it quickly.
The point of failure is to disappoint everyone, including yourself. Every day when I walk alone on the road, there are so many people coming and going, each with a different expression and mood, they are all living for life, just like me, but so different. Most people doubt the meaning of living, but in the end almost all choose to believe that the meaning of life must be found in the process of living, living a life in a positive and noisy way, and dying is also a lively scene, guests The hall is full of joy, and some people who live a lonely life are either bitter or insufferable, and even silence seems superfluous when they leave. I also doubted it, but now I think it doesn't matter if it is meaningful or not, I just want to seriously appreciate every fleeting moment, alone and quietly. I will definitely feel lonely, I will miss you, I will miss many people, and then find myself even more lonely, because no one can get rid of loneliness.
Reading so many books, listening to so many songs, loving someone seriously, and traveling to unfamiliar places are all just trying to find a firm reason to live in peace. Maybe I don't need anything, I just live for many reasons, but none for myself. I never thought about suicide like I never thought about being born. The beginning of life is not my decision, and I just want to let it go when it ends. I always feel extremely pitiful for those who commit suicide because they endure so much pain before they even think about leaving. In fact, the pain never stops, and death can't stop it. To leave is to impose one's own pain on others. And I just want to guard my pain and not let people get too close.
If I die, I want to be forgotten by everyone, and I don't want others to think of me and feel sad. A person's departure is not worth griefing, what is worth griefing is that he never really lived.
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