So, for a while, I always felt that I was not good enough, and I even blamed myself for not working hard enough and not being perfect enough for every failure.
I remember my birthday when I was 16, and I was criticized for drinking outside for two hours. That day I cried with tears and resentment: I have not been happy for 16 years, I have been living for you, and you have never been proud of my existence. Then howled.
They still think of me as a very optimistic child because I never shed tears in front of them. I've always been obedient because I've always run in the direction they want.
In fact, more often I just can't bear to see them disappointed. For almost 20 years their expectations were the sole thrust of my life.
I always thought they cared more about what I achieved than if I was happy. Until one day half a year ago, my mother suddenly called me and said something to me. I still remember it to this day: You remember that after you go abroad, you must choose what you like to do. I don’t want to watch you be bound like this for the things you don’t like. Going down, my greatest wish is to see you happy and peaceful. I have always thought that you are excellent and worthy of my pride.
I suddenly cried on this end of the phone. For so many years, I have become accustomed to my mother being picky about me, and I have carried those near-perfect standards and rules in the eyes of others for many years.
Yeah, why is our love for each other so hard to tell? Whether it's demanding requirements for our better life, or desperately trying to lose yourself in order to meet their expectations. We thought we were giving each other the best we could, but we never imagined that what we demand from each other would be so simple: what we want is each other's happiness, that's all.
When the old man looks at each child, he will ask a question, are you happy? So, I suddenly realized that all I should try is to make myself happier.
I have heard my mother say the old man's words, and I have heard my mother say about the old man's mood. When I saw the old man go to buy the best oven and wine; take the train to see the children one by one; pretend to be healthy and walk past the boarding gate, I seem to see my mother tell me in a nonchalant tone, I'm fine, you just Just take care of your stall, and I will fully support you in whatever you choose.
Mom, you have to believe that I understand, I am very happy now, really, when I go back, I will definitely accompany you.
View more about Everybody's Fine reviews
