Commentary video at station B: 12 or 18, ice hockey or baseball?
This film is the work of the Belgian genius director Jacques van Dommel in 2015. This dark fairy tale with a clear mind, absurd and banter, won my heart. At the same time, I also strongly recommend the director's previous masterpiece "Mr. Nobody (2009)"!
The following is the copy of the commentary video at station B. It is strongly recommended to watch the video directly. Reading the copy alone may cause all kinds of embarrassment and discomfort!
This sad-faced little sister is the daughter of God and the sister of Jesus—Ija.
Yiya told us that God is real, he is a coder and a scumbag, and he lives in Brussels, Belgium.
God used his broken computer to first make Brussels, and then make some animals dangling in it, what giraffes, tigers.
It didn't feel right, so he made a barcode man according to his general appearance, that is Adam.
Adam wanders around in Brussels and meets the barcode girl - Eve.
Because the code is all written, so the two barcodes look right, and the small barcodes of seven nests and eight generations are made.
At this time, the bad taste of the code farmer God was manifested, and he began to torture his creations endlessly. According to Yiya's words, "the skill has reached the perfect state"!
Take a look at the "laws of universal human predicament" he worked on:
Article 2125: The one that falls to the ground is always the side with jam;
Article 2128: The other team always moves faster;
Etc., etc.
God's Wife spends most of the time in a daze, either embroidering and looking at baseball cards.
Yiya was trapped in this three rooms and one hall, unable to go anywhere, and couldn't do anything except watch the ice hockey game.
For ten years, Yiya felt that her patience had reached the limit. Began to seek help from the C debut brother JC (nickname between brothers and sisters).
JC asked her mother what to say, and Yiya said disdainfully that her mother said nothing. JC felt that her mother must wake up.
Elijah said that I also want to find a few disciples to help me like you.
JC said that the disciples are good, I made 12, enough to make a hockey team, but that is the sport that the old man likes.
Well, if you find 6 more disciples, the two of us together can make up a baseball team that mom likes.
Ijah then asked, how do you choose disciples?
JC said that he would randomly pick 6 from the old man's file, perform miracles on the hour, and pretend to understand very well, no one would doubt it.
Yiya said, but I can't do miracles!
JC said, ah, it's your usual telekinesis trick. Then take your 6 disciples and write the Super New Testament and that's it.
Yiya said that I don’t want to be admired by everyone, and JC said that in that book, the disciples should be the protagonists.
Yiya was a little hesitant. My writing is not very good.
JC said ah, look for a writer, do you think I wrote all the "New Testament" myself, silly old girl.
Then JC told Yiya a secret trick: if you want to slip out, climb into the washing machine, set it to the chemical fiber gear, the water temperature is 40 degrees, and 1200 rpm.
Yiya was overjoyed. JC also told Yiya that as long as the old man left the computer, he couldn't play anything.
Immediately, Iya took action and stole the old man's studio key.
I ran in and got 6 data cards. Get on the computer and send out the death dates of people all over the world.
After finishing this, she locked the computer, said hello to JC, and got out of the washing machine.
In the process of Yiya crawling out, the outside world has been fried.
The media operated frantically, and those who could live for a long time began to die, and there was little left of anxiety.
Yiya got out of the washing machine, ate a broken fish bun, and vomited.
A kind-hearted homeless man came over to take care of him, and Yiya immediately asked: How is your writing?
The homeless man is stunned. Are the children's homework burdens so heavy now that they are too embarrassed to find someone to write their homework?
Yiya entangled the homeless, and the homeless took Yiya to the incinerator, and Yiya said this was heaven.
Yiya told the tramp that her brother was JC (Jesus), and the tramp said your brother was Jean-Claude van Damme (a martial arts star born in Brussels)?
Who is Yiya saying that Shange Vincent is a duck? This kind of communication efficiency makes us very sweaty for the "Super New Testament".
In this room, the awakened God found out what Yiya had done, and was furious.
He entered through the door, but he couldn't do anything about Yiya's locked computer.
After searching for his daughter, the old man had to get out of the washing machine.
Before leaving, the furious God roared at his wife: Find Ijaphie and beat her out of the shadows of childhood.
Iia and the tramp found their first disciple: a maiden.
The girl is beautiful and lonely. Because she lost her arm in a subway accident in her childhood, she is autistic all year round because of her disability.
Yiya showed her ability to know everyone's BGM. So Yiya gave the girl's BGM to the girl in the form of a dream.
"Super New Testament" recorded what a subway tramp said to the girl after the accident: Life is like an ice rink, and falling is inevitable.
The second disciple: the adventurer.
Adventurer's childhood was the greatest adventurer in the world, and then one day, no one knew why, he gave up on adventure.
Became a well-behaved office worker and lived a life of walking dead until he received the countdown to his own death.
The adventurer intends to stay on a park bench until his death, and the regret of wasted time overwhelms him.
Yiya helped him start a conversation with the bird in the park. The adventurer asked the bird, you can fly freely, why stop at the park?
The bird asked back, this is also what I want to ask you.
The adventurer left a question to the "Super New Testament": After losing air, will the bird fall from the air? Then follow the bird and start a new adventure.
God also climbed out of the washing machine, and was first sprayed by the aunt in the laundry room with anti-wolf spray.
Then he was cleaned up again by the hooligans on the street, and he was sent to the hospital with a bruised face.
Yelling at the nursing doctor, do you understand sprains, I understand, sprains and headaches are all invented by me, do you know?
The angry God left the doctor and went away. He was so hungry that he even thought of the idea of bread in the hands of a child.
But the 2125th law of universal human predicament works: what falls to the ground is always the jam-side.
God was beaten by the child's mother again.
Third Disciple: Sexualist.
A sex fanatic playing by the sea as a child was robbed of his mind by a goddess dressed in turquoise.
Since then, he has been unable to extricate himself. After entering the countdown to death, he took out all his savings and spent 200 euros a day for the last 83 days.
The porn fanatic said to Yiya, 200 euros a day is not enough, Yiya said that your voice is great, why not make some money with your voice?
So the nerd goes to dub a love action movie and meets the turquoise goddess.
The goddess mother, who stayed at home alone, suddenly found that on JC's C-position debut map, the number of disciples began to increase, 15. Could it be that the baseball team is about to start?
The goddess's numb heart rejoiced, and since then she has stayed in her heart.
The desperate god had to go to his son's office to eat, and when he was in line, he was calculated by his own 2128 rule: the other team always moved faster.
He was rescued by Hai Bian again and was rescued by a kind priest.
Unexpectedly, just after eating the relief, he became stunned again. He said to the priest, I designed your sad life, are you happy?
The sympathetic priest felt refreshed by pressing God to the ground.
Fourth Disciple: Death.
Death has a morbid fascination with death, according to incomplete statistics.
As a child, he killed an unknown number of ants and flies.
Six butterflies, 2 of my cousin's pet mice, and 2 of my cousin's macaw.
In fact, death is just a victim of God's other "law of universal predicament":
The person you spend the rest of your life with is not the person you love.
Death may be longing for his own death.
On the countdown day, he took a sniper rifle and pretended to shoot at passers-by.
Yiya said that your BGM is Schubert's "Death and the Maiden", which goes well with Handel.
So he handed Death a bullet, saying that a brown-haired woman would pass by in 6 seconds, and take her life.
Six seconds later, the first disciple passed by, and the bullet of the god of death shot into the prosthesis.
The unidentified god of death was shocked.
Death fell in love with the maiden, and the fascination with death disappeared.
16, the goddess continued to count.
Adventurers are still walking.
Those who die continue to die.
Fifth Disciple: Lady.
The lady broke down, and when she told her husband that she had 5 years left in the countdown, the husband showed a relieved expression.
Yiya said that your BGM is a circus, let's go to the circus to see it.
The Lady and King Kong of the Circus staged a scene from Michelangelo's famous painting ("Genesis"), and they had a heart-to-heart connection.
17, the goddess continues.
God couldn't go on, and ran to the laundry room to crawl back, but the passage disappeared.
But God blocked Elijah on the way.
Sure enough, as JC said, God will do nothing without the computer.
Iya took the homeless and fled from the river, and God drowned.
The drowning god was dragged to the church, the former priest again.
The priest had the god dragged to the Uzbek's mat to dry.
The adventurer and the guiding bird have become one.
Sixth disciple: child.
The countdown for the child is the shortest, only one week.
He was originally a girl, and his last wish was to be a girl again.
Put on a red dress and hit the road.
Yiya and the child complained about this goddamn world together, and Yiya showed another miracle: he copied the ham sandwich.
In the dream, the child's unfinished fish performed the child's BGM "The Sea".
The child plans to go to the beach to release this fish.
Iia and the disciples went to the beach with the children.
God was now being escorted on a plane to be repatriated to Uzbekistan.
The adventurer found an Eskimo girl under the guidance of the bird.
Children wading on the beach waiting to die.
God's plane crash swoops down to the beach, and it looks like everyone is dying.
Gathering the goddess of the baseball team, I started cleaning the living room in a happy mood, and unplugged the computer to vacuum.
God's computer restarted, the whole world restarted, and the death countdown disappeared.
Now it's a matter of the goddess, who decorates the world with her favorite embroidery.
Gravity is gone, and childbirth is left to the male...
The Super New Testament is signed for sale.
God is working on the washing machine assembly line in Uzbekistan, trying in vain to find a way home in each washing machine.
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