I learned about Gia through Julie's film in 14 years. After watching this biographical film, I was deeply attracted by Gia's fearless and reckless temperament. I started looking frantically for her information, wanting to understand her life and everything she has experienced. Whenever the night is long, I will revisit this movie. I think I have watched 50+ movies.
Every time I read it, I have a different understanding, but it is the same heartache.
The story is very long and life is very short and short
Gia Marie Carangi, known as the "first supermodel", is the source of inspiration for the term "supermodel". Probably only Cindy Crawford's fame can match her today. (Cindy Crawford just started debuting under the title "BabyGia", she should be the same as Gia, olive skin, brown-eyed brown-haired girl, with a bumpy figure) Gia has everything, beauty, charm, Flowers, Rolls Royce, and countless fashion muses enshrined by men and women, as well as royal suitors. But she is not interested in men, but bravely pursues same-sex love. Jack Nixon once gave Gia the key to his hotel room, but Gia never used it.
In terms of the fashion trends that ruled with blond, blue eyes and white skin at the time, Gia looked different! Gia's dark eyes, brown hair and olive skin broke the traditional aesthetic constraints of the time. And redefines the beauty trend of the entire era. For those exotic models, Gia is a breakthrough success, and has taken the first step to lay the foundation for the future "Brazilian model invasion, ushering in the new millennium".
Not only that, Gia has become synonymous with the two labels "lesbian" and "supermodel". So far, Gia's name is still associated with "the first woman who died of AIDS." Her tragedy warns people of the consequences of drug abuse and AIDS. Gia's life has been ups and downs like a roller coaster. In the first half of his life, vigorous and reckless blooming like a rose shines in everyone's eyes. In the second half of his life, willful profligacy was poor and degenerate. The world is not kind to her, but she is full of kindness to the world, just leaving the hurt and pain to herself...
She spends her life searching for love
Seize love in a lifetime
I also spend my whole life to get rid of the shackles of my heart
For this, she paid the most expensive price in the world-life
Can go around
She still walks on the road alone with bare feet
Maybe everyone is preparing to die that may be Gia’s own way
Gia was born on January 29, 1960 and grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia. Like all children, little Gia likes plush toys. There are all kinds of dolls on her bed. Even after she grew up, she never ceased to like plush toys. She will take a monkey toy and take pictures with her friends. At the end of her life, she accompanied her: a blue monkey doll placed on the head of her bed, which was filled with all the money she had left before and a hanging butterfly doll.
When little Gia is shopping with her mother, little Gia will deliberately disappear and pretend to be lost, so that she can dial the emergency button on the escalator or hear her name on the department store announcement. Little Gia enjoys this.
Little Gia has a special feeling for her name, she will practice her name on any piece of white paper. When Kathleen was looking for something under her daughter’s bed, she found "Gia Marie Carangi" written all over the board.
One thing affected Gia's life. When Gia was five years old, Gia was sexually assaulted by an old man. Although this kind of thing happened only once, it hurt a lot. She was afraid of this kind of thing happening again. This kind of fear has been with her growing up.
In 1971, Gia's mother Kathleen also left her husband and children and moved out by herself. In this year, Gia was only 11 years old. Little Gia is very dependent on her mother and hopes that her parents can get back together. But a year later, her mother's remarriage completely shattered Gia's dream of having a normal family. Since then, little Gia has drifted between the two families and rarely gets the attention of people around him. She felt abandoned. In the future, when she felt lonely and sad, she would cry and say "Why did my mother leave me when I was 11 years old?" The trauma of the divorce of her parents has been buried in her heart, this irreplaceable love An irreparable void formed in her heart.
These things have caused Gia to be very lonely and have a serious sense of insecurity. She strongly hopes to be loved and recognized by her mother. Gia’s model friends at the same time said, “Gia is eager to be loved. Sometimes she comes to my house in the middle of the night just to be hugged.”
Nine years ago, this 17-year-old girl from Philadelphia would go to the small restaurant opened by his father to help in her free time and lead a normal American teenage life. Once, in a local club, Gia attracted the attention of photographer Maurice Tannenbaum. After being interviewed by Wilhelmia, the owner of the modeling agency, Gia was quickly awarded a contract. Wilhelmia caught this unique girl at a glance: she was wearing a pair of black overalls, a white men's shirt tucked into her pants, and a motorcycle jacket on the outside. Hair is also casually dangled. This fits very well with the new face Wilhelmia wants to cultivate a straightforward/authentic/aggressive, yet sexy image.
American photographer Francesco scavullo recalled Gia saying, “You know, in real life, many models don’t wear makeup and they don’t look so sexy, but Gia looks very beautiful without makeup. Her figure is also the best model I have ever seen. Pretty, she exudes a charming breath in every gesture."
At the end of 1978, also the 18-year-old Gia's first year in New York, earned $100,000 and appeared in several major magazines, including the most prestigious Vogue. At the beginning, Gia also showed full curiosity and exploration for the entire industry.
Compared to being a model, Gia is more interested in photography. She wants to be a photographer. For this reason, she will take photography lessons every weekend to learn skills. But she doesn't want to be a fashion photographer, she wants to be a documentary photographer. She would go out and take pictures of homeless people on the street, and she would take pictures of the food people eat, even though some people didn’t want her to take pictures of them.
Over the years, Gia has developed a habit of keeping a diary. She will fill in the blank space with lyrics, graffiti, feelings of herself and a list of things to do. Photographers who work with Gia often inadvertently talk about important movies, and they try to explain the effect or influence they are looking for. She and her friends often go to the cinema to watch movies such as "A Clockwork Orange", "Anna Karenina" and "Characters". Her idol is John Garfield Greta Garbo. In order to get a glimpse of the secluded actress, Gia will visit Garbo's apartment.
Through "the girl behind the barbed wire" Gia announced her arrival. At the same time, it was selected for Armani, ChristianDior, DVF, YvesSaintLauren, Versace, and there was no second person in the later days of the fashion circle. HelmutNetwon's smoking outfit photos for YSL have repeatedly become " "Fashion History" is not uncommon. Her dark, rebellious, melancholy and fragile temperament is loved by many photographers, and she will not pose stiffly like a traditional model, she will dance happily, move freely in front of the camera, and change constantly. Gia is not like a model but more like a little girl playing in front of the camera. Her face, gestures, and posture laid the foundation for later generations. Now those classic poses that seem quite familiar come from her, especially the photo of the vacuum against the wire fence.
Scavullo recalled: "She has her own unique style, and shooting her is like shooting a stream of consciousness! I will try my best to follow behind to capture her appearance, she arouses sparks that make people crazy." Because she was unrestrained. The shooting style wants to capture her moments is not so easy. Some people think that working with Gia is a chore. You ask her to go east and she goes west, and you ask her to sit there and she must stand up! In short, she has her own ideas and it is more of her pursuit, which is the same for the most important people in this industry. Gia became popular across America so quickly! Before this, it was unheard of in the fashion circle. She could earn $500,000 for two consecutive years, which was only possible for the top supermodels at the time.
Shortly after the barbed wire photo, Gia began to pursue makeup artist Sandy Linter. She bought a red convertible with the money she just made, and Gia guessed that if she called Sandy to invite her for a ride, she would accept it out of curiosity. Sandy thinks Gia is a little cute, and the two have established a romantic relationship. This love affair was spread vigorously in the fashion circle and became the talk of the time. The reality is not as beautiful as it is depicted in the movie. After Gia and Sandy dated for a few months, Sandy broke up with her. Keep away from Gia with colleagues without answering any phone calls from Gia. (In an interview after Gia's death, Sandy said that she was heterosexual and did not recognize the relationship with Gia, but now she seems to be gradually letting go) Gia has been eager to have a stable relationship with Sandy, Gia's heart is broken. In the later work, the photographer's assistant said: "You can see the changes in Gia from that time, her eyes are hollow and she was crushed by this relationship."
Shortly after breaking up with Sandy, Gia's mentor and friend Wilielmina died of lung cancer. This is a double whammy for Gia! Wilielmina is the witness and companion of Gia's peak, more like the "second mother" in New York. Gia felt that everyone was leaving her, and in her heart she felt abandoned again. After they left her, Gia's life started to get out of control. Grieving Gia began to touch heroin to numb herself. She even locked herself in the bathroom all afternoon and inhaled four packs of heroin, which was undoubtedly a fatal dose for most people. There were traces of needles on her hand, and abscesses began to occur after repeated injections in some places. Gia was listless at work and often fell asleep. No photographer dared to use her. Her career has become difficult. The life in the New York metropolis, the fashion circle full of commerce and desire, is full of luxury brands, lens screens, and neon makeup. Gia has no real friends in the modeling industry. Gia is just a "tool" for those people to accumulate money. On the surface, everyone feels good about Gia. In fact, they don't care about her actual problems at all. As long as Gia can take amazing photos, it will still be "perfect". No one discouraged Gia from stopping. High-end fashion is beautiful, noble, and complex.
In 1981, under the persuasion of her friends, Gia left New York and returned to Philadelphia for drug treatment. Unfortunately, she met the twenty-year-old Elyssa Golden, who was more addicted to drugs than Gia. Under her influence, the two often inject drugs together. Drug addiction is not only unsuccessful, but drug addiction is getting bigger and bigger. At this time, Gia was discovered again because of a drug problem, and she completely ended her modeling career. She went back to the Atlantic to live with Elyssa.
Gia's idea is to live a stable and comfortable life with Elyssa. Same as many women want, but she has never experienced it. "She wants me to be a good girl. But I don't. I never know what true love is, what is good sex, Gia is a very good lover. She will wake me up at six every morning, and we will be together Go to her favorite small restaurant for breakfast. She always spreads buttered ground beef on toast. She will lean against the wall and tell me over and over again that she loves me. At noon, she will come to see me with lunch. But she Like a child, she calls me "Doodiekins". I am a wife. She is a husband and just pretends. I mean, I pretend, maybe she is serious..."
Gia is not sad because she lost her modeling job. She is considering enlisting in the army. She wants to do something that can make her proud. Sometimes she will discuss her future career with Elyssa. She thinks the nursing staff is good. She will imitate other people's tone "Gia Carangi, emergency medical technician, come here!" She will say "Yes" in her own tone and then she suddenly whispers "So they wouldn't laugh at me, would they?" At the beginning, she was embarrassed to set foot on the road of modeling in order to get her mother's approval, but Gia didn't like that she felt like a "liar". Whenever Gia tidied up and looked at herself in the mirror, she thought she was the queen attending the banquet, and she resisted all this in her heart. This is a huge difference from her real life, it is just a hypocritical illusion.
Another point is that she is a painful child. There are many unknown "rules" in the fashion circle. Even the smartest girl can't escape the "rules". She was very unhappy with many men in her life. In New York, people just used her. I guess you wouldn’t say that it was rape, just because she didn’t scream, but she didn’t want to happen several times. She was confused and she didn't know what to do... She was very angry. Many things in the fashion circle made her angry, and no one took her seriously. This made her really hate herself very very very very much.
But Sandy and Elyssa didn't give Gia warmth to rescue her from the pain, but instead made her more decadent and degenerate. Elyssa is a bisexual. While Gia is dating, she also interacts with different men. Gia was very angry. When she saw another man sitting in the Elyssa car, the two would quarrel and fight. This is an endless cycle, each time it makes Gia more tired, more desperate, but even more sad: Gia is unwilling to leave Elyssa, they have separated and reunited, quarreling for several years.
At this time, her family finally realized the seriousness of drugs and successfully persuaded her to move out of Elyssa's apartment to join the inpatient drug treatment at Engleville Hospital in Montgomery County. The treatment in Engleville is arduous but revolutionary. Different types of patients will unite together and encourage each other to overcome drug addiction. With the help of the hospital's medical staff, Gia started a drug cleansing plan, and she began to summarize the reasons that led to her drug abuse. She painted a huge mural, depicting herself floating somewhere between the earth and the sun carrying a cross on her back. She has a weeping eye on her face, a question mark on her skull and a scar from being beaten. On her chest there was a broken heart, black lungs, and a small "Hitler" sign. There are traces of pinholes on her arms, and there are signs of male and female on her genital area. In this painting, she listed the themes of therapeutic solutions: confusion/hatred/separation/frustration/growth pain/sexual abuse/mental abuse/helplessness/love...
Although it was difficult at first, she persevered and completed the 6-month hospitalization. Only 30% of the patients were able to achieve this. The rest were either discharged early or dropped out halfway. After being discharged from the hospital, Gia moved to the outskirts of Philadelphia and started living again. The hospital arranged for her to sell jeans in the mall and work as a cashier in the supermarket. However, around this time, Gia felt some discomfort in her body. In fact, this discomfort has lasted for a while, but she always thought it was the result of repeated detoxification and drug use. She began to discover a new type of "mysterious killer" disease, AIDS, in articles in related newspapers and magazines. Suddenly Gia disappeared. Rob Fey, who had met Gia during drug rehabilitation and later became Gia's friend, recalled, "She disappeared, no one can find her, and I haven't seen her for three weeks. Usually they disappear, or It’s a relapse of drug addiction. This is a very common phenomenon, or suicide, so the reason you can’t see them is very dangerous.” Gia sold her sports car for $1,700, and some interior items were included with the car. , And collected all the money she could collect, probably more than $2,000, and went to Atlantic City for the last time. She knew that she had AIDS, and she decided to commit suicide. She spent all her money on heroin, stayed in a cheap hotel, and decided to die from overdose, but she didn't do what she wanted. Ironically, due to years of drug abuse, her body has built up drug antibodies beyond ordinary people. When she regained consciousness, she went to a restaurant, but couldn't eat anymore, fed the food to the dog outside the door, and stayed in the hotel room for a few days to rest.
Then, she returned to her ex-girlfriend Elyssa Golden's house. Elyssa began to want to drive her out, but Gia begged to let her stay one night. Early the next morning, Gia said she went out to buy breakfast, but she actually stole Elyssa's money to buy heroin. When Gia came back at two o'clock in the afternoon, the two quarreled and fought about the theft. In the end, Gia finally escaped from her house, but the clothes on her body were ripped off by Elyssa in the chase of the two. Gia was swaying half-naked in the street. When a construction worker saw it, he took off his coat and put it on Gia. She wandered around aimlessly and bought more heroin. At last she slept on the broken mat next to the trash can, but it started to rain. But what happened next is not clear, because Gia has three versions to describe what happened later. She told a friend that she was raped by a man on the road, and she told the nurse that she sold herself to buy more drugs and was beaten in the middle. Tell her mother that the bruise on her body was from the fight with Elyssa. But it is clear that some violent things happened to Gia. At this time she called her father. After her father got her up, he took her back to Philadelphia. Gia's mother took her to the hospital. Gia was diagnosed with pneumonia and went to Warminster Hospital in Philadelphia, where Gia received government medical relief. The people in the hospital are very indifferent to her because she is a drug addict, especially female drug addicts. They think this kind of people are social scum. Gia was diagnosed with AIDS here, most likely due to the use of a dirty needle to inject heroin.
After Kathleen learned that Gia was sick, she was afraid that Gia would lose her job if she lived with them, and she was afraid that neighbors would know that they would gossip, and finally she decided to pay for Gia and let Gia live in the hotel. When she told Gia of this decision over the phone, how desperate and helpless Gia was when she heard this. She became hysterical and delirious, and said that she would buy a gun to end her life, so she was transferred to a psychiatric care center to inject lithium to relieve her depression. At that time, the nurse was shocked by the family farce. She had persuaded Kathleen to take Gia home so that she could better take care of her instead of turning her back to her daughter and leaving her in the cold hospital. Kathleen didn't respond, just looked blank.
After Gia was discharged from the hospital, Rob Fey often went to see her. The two of them danced together. Gia would sing "Don't Forget Me" (a song from "Breakfast Club") and then the two cried. Rob recalled, "I talked to her on the phone one night and she had some difficulty talking. After we said goodbye, I usually waited for the other person to hang up. So I could hear her struggling to hang up. I looked at the watch about It took fifteen minutes. She was in pain, and I know how bad she was at the time." As the condition got worse, Gia's body was very weak. She had to be taken care of by others, and her mother eventually took her back, but Gia could only live in a small house, and Kathleen would lock her up during the day. Gia’s biological father said that Gia wanted to leave there. They were not friendly to her. They would argue about how much Gia had spent to see the doctor. They would say some very cruel things. Sometimes when Gia went for breakfast with Gia, Gia would Taking out a large sum of money to pay the bill, Gia said, "Don't tell them I have money, they will take my money away".
On October 18, 1986, Gia was transferred to Hahnemann University Hospital, a hospital that specializes in AIDS cases. Gia's vagina began to bleed and her body was severely dehydrated. The doctors were helpless, and they continued to give her the tests they had done before. The doctor prescribed contraceptive pills to stop the bleeding. When this method did not work, the doctor considered hysterectomy. As Gia increasingly regarded having no children as her biggest regret, hysterectomy was a particularly symbolic blow. But the hospital finally decided to give her treatment. Dr. Oak, who was in charge of Gia’s condition, later recalled, “Gia was impoverished and had to rely on medical assistance. The cost of treating AIDS patients was expensive, and the chance of cure was very, very slim, but even so. , We will not give up any patient." At this time, you can see the most beautiful woman in the world at that time, her life and her appearance are disappearing little by little.
She has been running away and fleeing all her life, and this time she can't run anymore.
Gia is running out of time. In the last month, Kathleen moved to the hospital to stay vigil for her daughter. I guess Gia will tell herself in her heart: the expectant mother is finally here!!! Gia gets along with her mother day and night, she takes care of Gia like a newborn baby. Later, her friends and acquaintances said that this was what Gia had pursued in her life, and her mother's whole-hearted love and attention. However, Gia didn't want to spend the rest of her life in the hospital. Although she could not speak, she would write a small note to her mother and tell her, "We can buy oxygen, get an oxygen cylinder at home, take me home, take me home!" Kathleen replied to her, "Gia, if I can take you to the elevator, and I will take you home, but you will die as soon as you go out."
Gia died on November 18, 1986. Her funeral was held in the Sunset Memorial Park on the outskirts of Philadelphia. None of the friends from the fashion circle attended the funeral or sent condolences. Until a few weeks later, Gia's former friend Francesco Scavullo sent a Mesaka to express his condolences. Scavullo recalled, “When we heard about it, we immediately cried hoarse in the studio.” Gia walked so quietly without making any ripples. There was no obituary about Gia in newspapers and magazines, only a small death notice in the Philadelphia Inquirer.
I think the reason why Gia is so addicted to drugs is because she wants to relieve her inner pain and loneliness. You can say, then why doesn't she go find someone to relieve her loneliness? I think it's not that Gia didn't think about it this way, but after doing this, she found that the person she loved would leave and leave her, which would make her more miserable. So she seems to have found the most cost-effective way to get rid of pain-taking drugs, as long as she has the money to buy drugs, then the drugs will not leave her, so she is relying on drugs all the time.
As for the source of her pain, I think there are three: the impact of the original ecological family on her character, the drunkenness of the model industry, and the heartbreaking of the broken relationship.
No matter how Elyssa betrays her, she doesn’t want to give up her love. It’s like the pine nuts in "The Life of the Disgusted Pine Nuts". It's better to be lonely. For those who are full of pain, you only need to give her "a little bit" of love, and then she will grasp this straw and never let go. What Gia needs and wants most is that "a little bit" of love, just like what she said, "I just want a warm body and a big mouth. The world seems to be based on money and sex." , I mean, I need money to survive, but I think people value it too much. I am looking for better things like happiness, love, and care." All she wants is to get love, be loved, and live a free and undisciplined life, but that's all she wants. It all starts here. Can everything be blamed on this:
In order to make her mother happy, she obeyed her mother's request to be a model. The result was scarred by it. In order to get her mother's attention, she was rebellious and self-willed, and did something out of the ordinary. She just wanted her mother to look at her to comfort her. As a result, this kind of rebellion did not wait for her mother to come back, but became a habit of her life, and finally hurt herself.
For me, the deep point is that she has been giving herself for the sake of feelings. When feelings hurt herself again and again, and her body was full of wounds, she still instinctively trusts others and believes in love. If this happens to ordinary people, I am afraid that few people can do it. We will only slowly disguise ourselves, wrapping layer after layer, peeling it apart to see that there is only a dry and withered heart. When I see something I like, I don't dare to pursue it, and I don't even have the courage to try it. Fear of failure, fear of injury, a sense of distance or even hostility towards it. We will retract into a safe place like "hedgehogs", spread our arms, and wrap ourselves in comfortable dens as much as possible. In this process, we are the so-called "growth", we have learned to eliminate the disadvantages and pursue the advantages. And Gia is different. This "silly girl" saw that everyone else had gone, she stayed where she was, waiting and waiting~Wait and waiting~Whether it is the scorching sun or the cold, whether it is spring, summer, autumn or winter, she has been waiting for the person who came to the appointment . She hasn't changed, so she has never "grew up", has always been a child, a child looking forward to love. In the process, ordinary people become realistic, mature, rational, and mundane... and she still has clear eyes, she still likes dolls, and she still has to look for someone who will accompany her for life. It is true that Gia's many perceptions and practices of this world are wrong. But she was never afraid, she went straight forward. regardless of costs.
Perhaps, everyone is drunk, and she is alone. Only she knows what she wants and seeks for it. The people of the world follow the trend of the times, blindly, painfully, and live in the eyes of others.
Another small regret is that she made such a great contribution to fashion that no one came to see her when she died and say goodbye to her. There is only one, the only Mezzanine, and those lovely eachother once floating in the air...
In the world of fashion circles, once you succeed, you will become a unique and sexy stunner. Where, the sun always shines on you, the party is so enthusiastic, there is no ugliness, no disease, no poverty in this land, everyone looks so golden. When you fall into a trough "You are nothing~"
Gia is pure, innocent, ignorant and fearless... The little girl who stepped on the fire with bare feet, judging from the blow to her by her friend's death, she is an emotional and sensitive person. She loves everyone. When she was dying, she still loved her "mother", her "Elyssa", and her "friend". But I don't know if everyone loves her, even if everyone loves her only one-tenth of what she pays.
"A long, long time ago, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a little girl with blond hair..." May that little girl's kingdom be safe and clean and beautiful, and she would be carefree, happy and happy there~
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