Five stars have nothing to do with love

Ludwig van Beethoven: [sitting secluded in a darkened corner, Miss Guicciardi does not notice him at first] Hello.

Giulietta Guicciardi: [startled, she doesn't realize who she is speaking to] Oh... I didn't see you. I have to go back.

[she turns to leave]

Ludwig van Beethoven: [he gets up] Oh... you are leaving me to go back to that ass who plays like a kitchen maid, all clipped and staccato.

Giulietta Guicciardi: This music is beautiful.

Ludwig van Beethoven: You must be Giulia Guicciardi. I hear there's quite a contest for your charms.

Giulietta Guicciardi: Sir you're rude and offensive. I'm leaving.

[she begins to walk away]

Ludwig van Beethoven: [calling after her] Do you play the piano?

Giulietta Guicciardi: [she stops] What?

Ludwig van Beethoven: I intend to be your teacher. I will call for you tomorrow at 10:00.

Giulietta Guicciardi: [laughs as she walks away] You will be barred from the house.

Ludwig van Beethoven: [Miss Guicciardi's first piano lesson. She is playing, poorly, a little minuet. She errs, and begins pounding on the keyboard, perhaps to gets some kind of reaction from Beethoven. He says nothing until he realizes she has stopped. He gives his critique] You think that because I do not stop you, that I am not listening.

[She sighs in agreeance]

Ludwig van Beethoven: The manner in which you thump out the notes without the slightest thought as to their meaning is unforgivable. And your lack of passion is unforgivable. I shall have to beat you.

[she offers her hand for punishment, rolling her eyes. He gives her a hard, painful slap]