Ever

Christy 2022-01-13 08:02:44

In the end, I left everything and everyone. But no one, no one has ever left me.
2006 "A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints"
I think it is worth writing a film review to commemorate.
Did you love me?
Ever?
Lie to me and tell you did!
Let me feel like the piece of shit I am!
Did you love me or not!
Answer me!
Dito when I was young.
In 1986. Queens, New York.
The F*uck mouthful of the teenagers and girls at that time...
just to prove their difference.
They are still young, they are just children.
They think they still have the capital to splurge, they think they should be spoiled.
Should be forgiven forever.
Dito always thinks that his father doesn't love him, why he doesn't love him, why do you think he doesn't love you?
He just doesn't know how to express his love, why do you hurt him again and again?
He doesn't love you, but loves you too much, he doesn't want to leave you, he pampers you again and again.
How else would he love you?
Your father can only be your father forever!
How can you do this to him!
A self-righteous child, a child who does not understand love.
Did you see your mother's tears?
You can't understand when you are young, you don't understand, your selfish avoidance, you shamelessly cringe.
How many people's hearts did it hurt?
Why was it always so naive and so ridiculous when I was young.
He always said some hurtful words, his face was stubborn, but he was crying alone in the corner.
I don't want to quarrel with my parents, I don't want them to care about me, I'm fine by myself, I hate them!
I don't need to care!
I don't care about them either!
I hate them!
I don't need anyone to pity me!
They don't love me!
They never loved me!
is it?
Is it really?
Why don't you admit that you actually long for your parents' care, and you long for your parents' praise.
You don't want to be a bad boy.
It's just that you refuse to say, you refuse to lower your head, you refuse to admit your mistakes.
Why do you have to go home after many years.
Why not earlier.
Why do I have to say something to my father so many years ago?
You question your father.
You ask him, do you love you?
How silly, how childish.
How many years, how many whole years, you finally understand.
You are finally brave, are you finally willing to face it?
The girl you ever loved, your best friend, the life you ever wanted.
The home you once hated so much, the father you once hated so much.
They never left you from the beginning, they forgave you from the beginning.
Your tears, your regret.
Can you exchange the love and friendship you once had?
Can you change back the people who left and the lost time?
No, nothing can be done.
All you can do is not to lose it again.
You abandon them, not they abandon you.
The man many years later is no longer the child many years ago.
What is the stubbornness of youth to prove?
Is it just for regrets that can never be made up in the future and confession that can never be stopped?
In the end, I left everything and everyone. But no one, no one has ever left me.

——2012.1.30

View more about A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints reviews

Extended Reading
  • Allie 2022-03-27 09:01:15

    This is still a selfie autobiography...is my reflex arc too long?

  • Maia 2022-03-26 09:01:11

    When I was young, I madly wanted to get rid of those rotten years, abandoned all the people, and with the passage of time, I found that the person who truly loved you never went far.

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints quotes

  • Jenny: My name is Jenny and everyone's a fucking joke.

  • Young Antonio: I'm a fucking piece of shit. And that's who I am.