"Kung Fu Yoga" Alternative Tucao
Jackie Chan once again played a famous Kung Fu professor in this movie, proving once again that the more people lack, the more they want.
He succeeded in connecting with international standards by this film. He proved the fact that the old Jackie Chan has a big butt just like the Russian women who have given birth to children.
At this point, he succeeded in following up with his big brother Sammo Hung.
A big butt means that I haven't practiced for at least a few years. The movements are slow and lack of strength...but it just matches the movie's name, Kung Fu Yoga, Jackie Chan's Kung Fu is gone, and I started practicing yoga.
Uncle Jackie Chan really couldn't move this movie. The villains stood motionless and waited for the big brother to punch and kick, but it was a pity that the big brother couldn't beat him.
The whole scene was filmed, and the strong villains improved their proficiency in a straight line. They took the initiative to fly and fall before they even touched it, as if they had a self-detonation function. Maybe they had been invited from Iraq.
Zhang Yixing's acting skills are as embarrassing as Jackie Chan's actions! The difference is that Jackie Chan's action scenes were OK before, but Zhang Yixing's acting skills have always been awkward.
However, this is also worthy of the title of "Little Fresh Meat". It is estimated that Wu Yifan will exhale after watching Zhang Yixing's performance: My Journey to the West, Fu Yao, may be better at the box office.
Jackie Chan always arranges a big beauty to act in his movies, and the beauty will still fall in love with him like a brain, and follow his hard work under the bed to fight and upgrade.
This at least proves that the big brother is a unified person in and out of the play, and he is worthy of the title of "Fanshilong".
As a dispensable scientist, Zeng Zhiwei made a cameo appearance, relying on his legs to successfully get rid of the pursuit of wolves. I wonder if there is a breed of "short-legged wolf"?
Then they threw a few fist-sized snowballs to beat the wolves away. Are snowballs better than cannonballs? I just wanted to ask the screenwriter, is it because the wolf has no common sense or you have no common sense?
Then I went to Dubai, and arranged the "Background Chinese Rich People", "Camel Running Race", "Sexy Beauty and the Beach", "Auction Without Security Guards", and "Racing Cars with Lions Running Around the Street".
After seeing this, I finally understand, what is Dubai?
Dubai is made up of luxury cars, beauties, beasts and Chinese.
The screenwriter once again successfully showed off his empty brain and superficial cognition.
Then I arrived in India. The screenwriter unsurprisingly arranged elephants, venomous snakes, colorful paints and various Indian juggling performances, making India extremely local.
Then it arranged for Indian juggling and Jackie Chan juggling to play against each other. As expected, Jackie Chan’s juggling was even better.
But in the end, the Indian side suddenly took out a pistol, and instantly kidnapped the eldest brother and others.
I was particularly wondering, can't you just use guns in the first place? Who is the fool of you and the screenwriter?
Then came more superpowers, Zhang Yixing and Li Zhiting, two little meats fighting over a dozen "African Brothers" (hyenas).
What is a hyena? Hyenas are not dogs, they belong to the Hyena family, which is similar to the Leopard family. Its bite force is the strongest among terrestrial carnivores, reaching 800 kilograms, twice stronger than that of a lion. Although it is similar to the leopard family, leopards will flee when they see hyenas. Adult hyenas dare to molested lions and can kill Tibetan mastiffs in seconds.
But a dozen hyenas were molested by two small meats with thin arms and legs, completely losing their dignity, like kicking a ball with one heel.
The hyena’s trick is to dig its anus. Little fresh meat is really not afraid of the chrysanthemum being damaged. It makes a big split above the hyena, which makes my chrysanthemum tight.
I think the director should let them squeeze their legs, and respect the second brother of Africa.
Later, I ran to a temple, and in the backyard of the temple, I easily found a huge golden garden and a huge golden Buddha that the Indians hadn't discovered for hundreds of years.
Screenwriter you have hatred with the Indians? Such unscrupulous insults to others' IQ. Are you afraid that you will eat Indian tossing bread in the future, and Ah San will throw the bread on your face?
Finally, Jackie Chan successfully counterattacked with old Tai Chi, a meal of spiritual chicken soup for the boss to do ideological and political work, let him and himself dance the Indian dance.
Although that dance was so dissatisfied with the Chinese square dance aunt.
The screenwriter seems to like animals very much. If the funds are not limited, I feel that he will still let tigers, rhinos, elephants and crocodiles play.
I think this drama is not an adventure film, but a humiliating beast movie, too underestimating the ability of the beasts. Next time you write a script, go to the zoo to observe and observe. Oh no, the screenwriter may only write such a script after going to the zoo too much. He should be allowed to go to the tiger area of the Beijing Wildlife Park and get off the car to stroll around. I believe that the next time I write a script, he won't be forced from beginning to end.
Brother Jackie will take care of his son after he is fine. Don't always make bad movies to suck money, otherwise the amount of money he sucks won't be enough for his son to take drugs.
Oh, forgot to say, the screenwriter of this film is the director of the film, Tang Jili, I feel that director Tang has added various elements to the film, but he didn't add one thing: sincerity.
Even if you collect money, you have to be serious. The beggar bows when he asks for money.
What? This is just a comedy? Don't be harsh?
Can comedy not be serious? Oh, too, why not? Jackie Chan, who doesn’t recognize his daughters and relatives, can still be loved, and his drug-addicted son can continue to be in movies. Why does the movie have to be taken seriously? Anyway, if you don't take it seriously, there are also brain fans to back it up.
Fans will say:
"Big Brother Jackie Chan is very dedicated to his work and is our idol"
"Big Brother Jackie has worked very hard"
"I'm not convinced you take one"
"We owe Jackie Chan a movie ticket."
I think your parents owe you a complete brain.
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