The last time I cried like a idiot was one day at the end of April last year. I deeply remember that it was a Friday afternoon. It had just rained and the road was wet. After class, I carried my backpack and decided to walk more than 40 minutes to find him. I can't wait to fly over and tell him: I love him, I have never loved someone so madly, I am willing to give him everything I have. But as I walked, I was scared and conflicted. Finally, I bought a detachable hard-shell notebook and two water-based pens from a stationery store near his work place, and turned back to school. Tears burst down along the way, and I couldn't help it. I think back to every relationship in the past, and I asked myself, even if he is with me, will our relationship end up like every one of mine? In every relationship in the past, I felt like a stone in Sisyphus's hand, rolling back to the bottom of the mountain before it reached the top, waiting for the next person to push me up the mountain. At that moment, I was so afraid that he would be the next person to push the stone, because I loved him so much. At that moment, how I contradicted what love is, because I found that the longer I get along, the more love turns from happiness to torture. Just like Joel and Clementine received the tape sent to them by Mary, and heard each other's complaints about each other before erasing their memories, it was full of misunderstanding and resentment. There is no couple who does not expect forever, but suspicion, low self-esteem, misunderstanding and trivial life will kill their love and draw them farther and farther. I think the tears at that time were not only because I decided to bury my love for him in my memory, but also because I discovered that love is not eternal. Where is Eternal Sunshine in this world? Where is Spotless Mind? Since then, I have ceased to be keen on ambiguous games and no longer have to deal with feelings hastily. People around me said that I had changed, and I seemed to be more mature than before. I didn't know if it was true or not, but I just thought it was a bit ridiculous. When I was about to graduate, the three girls in the dormitory all told me that a certain boy was really good. I should think about it seriously and don't miss it. I was speechless. Whenever I calm down and think of him, I seem to see myself become Sisyphus, and he is the rock in my hand. I push him hard to the top of the mountain, and then watch him roll back. . I know that although he is very good and treats me very well, he is the same as Joel and Clementine. I don't know that love will turn into torture. I don't know that love is just a fantasy. At the very beginning, Joel and Clementine didn't know each other 100%, they didn't calmly know what they wanted and what they were about to face. Perhaps Clementine’s perverse unruly attracted Joel, but after a long time, Joel discovered that he fell in love with his fantasy of Clementine. As Clementine moved further and further away from his fantasy, his love for Clementine not only waned, but also became My distrust and suspicion of Clementine. But loneliness is too cold and passion is too hot, who can escape the boundless power of love?
Love cannot last forever, but memories can.
Memories are like dust, embedded in the trenches of the brain. I have already started my third year of being single. In the past two years, I have missed the person I love the most, and the person who may love me the most in my life. I don’t think I can do anything better. Missed it. Everyone we have experienced has brought happiness and happiness to ourselves, and it will inevitably bring pain and tears. Who says love is just those romantics, pain is also part of love. Doesn't it make him happy to love someone? When the entanglement with each other becomes a torment, you might as well say goodbye freely and easily: Since love can't last forever, let the memory be beautiful forever. Two days ago, when I saw a cartoon drawn by a neighbor, he said: When you are heartbroken by your past feelings, you don’t have to feel unwilling to be unworthy. It’s your own business to be worth it, and it has nothing to do with that person. No matter if he is a demon, a beast, a scum, or a wood, as long as he feels happy and satisfied at the time, it is worth it. When he began to delete his memories, Joel realized this: If there is no memory at the end of a relationship, then the relationship really has no meaning at all. When Clementine asked Joel: This memory is almost erased, what should we do? Joel said lightly: Enjoy it. People are really magical animals. People will hide those memories in their hearts that will make them feel painful during the day. When the night comes, the memories will spread to erode your hard-to-destroy strength during the day. The most real weakness in my heart. So even if the memory is cleared, Joel still remembers the last words Clementine said to himself before disappearing: Meet me in Montauk. The
gods asked Sisyphus to push the boulder to the top of the mountain because they thought there was nothing like this. Ineffective and hopeless labor is more severely punished. So sometimes thinking about love is just this kind of ineffective and hopeless work. But sometimes love is warm and hopeful, because everyone is different, you will eventually meet the person who can stop you from pushing stones, and he will hold your hand and spend the rest of your life with you .
"How happy is the blameless vestales lot
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned."
PS: I downloaded this movie four years ago, and it was not until I sorted out the mobile hard drive two days before that I suddenly realized that I forgot to watch it. it.
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