"Love" and Self

Jamarcus 2022-03-19 09:01:03

There are two kinds of relationships between individuals and others: to submit to others or to make others submit to oneself. Nicole played a submissive role in this marriage and lost herself. Even though Charlie was still as dazzling as a star in the sky in his heart, she did not dare to continue to be infatuated. She wanted to be an independent, free and complete individual. Who doesn't want to, no matter how good the other half is, if you don't keep up, the gap between the two will get farther and farther. In the end, you may not only fail to be called a good wife, but you may not be worthy of this relationship. Originally equal emotional relationships, it is easy for one party to temporarily take a step ahead in wisdom or career, without waiting for the other party to catch up, and then the distance grows and becomes more and more unfamiliar and there is no common language. Gradually the lagging party passively enters the submissive role; the leading party leads the way and makes various decisions for both parties. This became a submissive relationship between the two. Fromm believed that this cage of relationships between individuals and others could be rescued by "love". But first of all love must have the ability to achieve this kind of love and concern for others under the conditions of ensuring that the integrity of the self is not affected, rather than making others submit to me. Nicole hasn't reached that capacity yet, and she'll never be if she continues to play the submissive role, so she'll have to stand on her own and stop devoting herself to others, and learn to perfect herself in order to get the ability to truly love. .

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Extended Reading
  • Garland 2022-03-22 09:01:21

    My second film at the Venice Film Festival. It's a bit of a script serving the actors, just like an actor's composition. There are a few clips that I want to score four stars, but the overall look is still three stars. The close-ups of the widow sister’s face are beautiful. The story is still sacrifice and running-in in marriage, more like an American divorce horror story

  • Rosanna 2022-03-23 09:01:24

    It shows well that the fundamental problems in marriage after women's awakening cannot be solved with love. Until the end, the male protagonist did not really learn to respect and recognize the talent of the female protagonist.

Marriage Story quotes

  • Nicole: [while arguing with Charlie] You're being so much like your father.

    Charlie: Do not compare me to my father!

    Nicole: I didn't compare you to him. I said you were acting like him.

    Charlie: You're exactly like your mother. Everything you were complaining about her, you're doing. You're suffocating Henry.

    Nicole: First of all, I love my mother. She was a wonderful mother.

    Charlie: I'm just repeating what you told me.

    Nicole: Secondly, how dare you compare my mothering to my mother! I may be like my father, but I am not like my mother!

    Charlie: You are! And you're like my father! You're also like my mother! You're all the bad things about all of these people! But mostly your mother.

  • Nora Fanshaw: People don't accept mothers who drink too much wine and yell at their child and call him an asshole. I get it. I do it too. We can accept an imperfect dad. Let's face it, the idea of a good father was only invented like 30 years ago. Before that, fathers were expected to be silent and absent and unreliable and selfish, and can all say we want them to be different. But on some basic level, we accept them. We love them for their fallibilities, but people absolutely don't accept those same failings in mothers. We don't accept it structurally and we don't accept it spiritually. Because the basis of our Judeo-Christian whatever is Mary, Mother of Jesus, and she's perfect. She's a virgin who gives birth, unwaveringly supports her child and holds his dead body when he's gone. And the dad isn't there. He didn't even do the fucking. God is in heaven. God is the father and God didn't show up. So, you have to be perfect, and Charlie can be a fuck up and it doesn't matter. You will always be held to a different, higher standard. And it's fucked up, but that's the way it is.