I couldn't help copying it down and translated it myself. Beck in the glass cage finally had time to put aside his chaotic life and self-dissect. This poem is probably the most struggling, most painful, most maddening work of any poem Beck has ever written. Full of self-questioning, self-inflicted laughter brought into Joe's perspective. She licked her wounds and gave up her desperate struggle. Her resistance was powerless and weak until she died.
How the hell did you end up here?
Why did you fall here?
Your life has been better since you met me.
Your life has changed for the better since you met me (I understand this should be speaking to her from Joe's point of view)
Ask yourself: You just don't know how or why
You just don't know how or why.
You paint me up to be this monster.
You describe me as a monster. (also from Joe's point of view)
Someone who can hurt people, who can do terrible things.
A monster who hurts others at will, a monster who makes trouble.
You used to wrap yourself in fairy tales like a blanket.
You are used to being immersed in soft fairy tales (Beck's self-analysis, in fact, her love has always been drama)
But it was the cold you loved.
But what you really love is its icy coldness.
Sharp shivers as you uncovered the corpses or BLuebeard's wives.
It was the shiver of finding the bodies of Bluebeard's wives.
Sweeter goose bumps as Prince Charming silded one glass slipper over your little toes, a
perfect fit.
It's the sweet goosebumps that Prince Charming gets when he slides your little toe right into the cold glass slipper, "It's perfect".
But by the schoolyard, real princesses floated by you on fall winds.
In the real campus, the rich ladies dance around you,
you saw the gult between you and the rich girls,
You've seen enough of the gulf between you and the princess,
and vowed to stop believing in fairy tales.
Vows to stop believing in fairy tales.
But the stories were in you, deep as poison.
But that has penetrated deep into your soul, like poison that sinks into your body.
"If Prince Charming was real, if he could save you..."
"If there really is a Prince Charming, if he can save me..."
You needed to be saved from the unfairness of everything.
You need to be delivered from all the shackles of injustice.
"When would he come?"
"When will he come?"
The answer was a cruel shrug in a hundred fleeting moments.
The answer is a cruel shrug of countless moments.
The sneer on Stevie Smith's face when he called you a fat cow.
You saw that face of Stevie Smith who sneered and called you "fat cow"
Uncle Jeff's hand squeezing your ass in the Thanksgiving kitchen. The accusation in your
father's eyes when you told him what happened.
See the condemnation in Dad's eyes when you tell Uncle Jeff that he pinched your ass in the Thanksgiving kitchen.
From every boy masquerading as a man that you let into your body,your heart,
From every boy disguised as a man you ever fucked and loved,
You learned you didn't have whatever magic turns a beast into a prince.
You see, no magic can turn a beast into a prince.
You surrounded yourself with the girls you'd always resented,
You are among the girls who made you resentful,
hoping to share their power, and you hated yourself.
Wish you could share their power, but you hate yourself like that.
And that diminished you more.
Because it makes you weaker.
And then, right when you thought you might just disappear, he saw you.
Just when you thought you were about to disappear into the invisible, he saw you.
And you knew ,somewhere deep,it was to good to be true.
Deep down, you know, that's too good to be true.
But you let youeself be swept.
But you still allow yourself to indulge in it.
Because he was the first strong enough to lift you.
Because he is the first person strong enough to support you.
Now, in his castle, you understand Prince Charming and Bleubeard are the same man.
And now, in this castle, you finally understand that Prince Charming and Bluebeard are the same person.
And you don't get a happy end unless you love both of him.
Unless you fall in love with the double-sided him, you will not be happy.
Didn't you want this? To be loved? Didn't you want him to crown you?
Don't you want that? Want to be loved? Don't you just fantasize that he can crown you?
Didn't you ask for it? Didn't you ask for it? Didn't you ask for it?
Is this not what you want? Didn't you ask for this? Isn't that what you want? !
So say you can live like this.
So, say you can go on like this.
Say you love him, say thank you, say anything but the truth.
Say you love him, you're grateful for it all, and you can say anything but the truth.
What if you can't love him back? What if you are not the one?
Say if you don't love him the same? What if you're not the one I want?
......
View more about You reviews
