"You want to go to the farm, don't you?" I asked him.
He replied, "Yes".
I was silent, the conversation did not continue, and at the same time uncontrollable unease. I don't know why, but this feeling, being so similar to my first boyfriend, scares me.
My current boyfriend F, he is calm, self-disciplined, and simple, I will always be attracted to people with this quality, even if there is a failure experience, I can't help myself in the end. What's more, F's temperament is doubled, calm to indifference, self-disciplined to repressed, simple to clumsy, it is rare to see him develop a special enthusiasm for something, and in crowded places, let him be Discomfort, even disgust. This sense of alienation often exhausts my patience to compromise and please. I think, if one day, I can't hold on anymore, that is the day we break up.
In his impression, he revealed only two things that he loved unforgettable. One was the farm in his childhood memories, where he spent the whole summer vacation hanging out. It was a place like paradise in his description, with a wide variety of plants, lush growth, and rainy seasons. The swamp is sultry and humid, and the heavy rain often falls when it rains. After the rain, the sky is blue and quiet. There are old trucks and loyal stray puppies at their feet. The long summer vacation can never be finished, and I can't bear to finish it. Whenever he talked about the swamp farm tirelessly, his eyes became innocent and clear, with a unique suppressed excitement. Another one is zombies. It's incredible. Such a dull and boring person would be keen on bloody zombie movies. For this reason, I specially asked someone I know to contact a very powerful makeup artist. He wears zombie makeup for a masquerade party, but deliberately does it to his liking, but ends up sloppily because of his fear of crowds. I often laugh at him. I like zombies so much because I think I belong to the same family as zombies, and they are all heartless walking dead.
So I'm jealous when he can go back to his obsessive childhood on the farm.
But F didn't tell me that this heavenly farm is not his family's, but the make-up artist friend M's parents, and they were so familiar that they spent every summer vacation together in childhood until F moves his family to Brazil. I got it from M.
M has thick, curly and soft brown hair. His eyes are often hidden by the hair on his forehead, and his hands are often tied behind his ears, revealing delicate facial features, long eyelashes, and his eyes with style. Undoubtedly, he is handsome and charming, and what is even more commendable is that he seems to be unaware of his own sexiness, and he has no intention of showing off, but instead gives birth to a kind of youthful sexiness. I noticed that he wore a rainbow bracelet on his wrist, and I thought, whether it was a man or a woman, he would be attracted to him.
Such a charming person can be said to be F's best teenage playmate, but he has never been mentioned by F, like a divorced couple with a broken relationship, who deliberately hides all traces of the other person's existence in their own life. , such a desire to cover up.
Yes, F is going back to the farm with M. F can hardly hide his anticipation and relaxed and happy mood, which makes him look ten years younger and back to his boyhood. I think, this is the release of the depression, the mask is removed, the real F.
…
I don’t know what happened on the farm, it rained a lot that night and F didn’t come back. I don't know who actually took the initiative to take this step. Maybe it's M, he has always been very open about his sexual identity, as if time stopped at the moment when a certain F left, stubbornly waiting for F to come back; it could also be F, maybe the heavy rain brushed the hot farm, so His heart suddenly opened up, and he didn't want to see M's lonely back again, and he had the courage to recognize himself; he might not be able to tell who took the initiative, it must be because the atmosphere of the rainy night was too ambiguous, and the two couldn't help but happen naturally. what.
Anyway, they were together after that rainy night.
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