I don't know when your fascination with Cumberbatch started, most people are from "Shen Xia", I am from "The Imitation Game", but it doesn't matter, we are fascinated by the same thing.
The world's worship of intelligence quotient has always been higher than emotional intelligence. We can forgive these geniuses for being addicts, ignorant of the world, and hurting people. They have superior intelligence, they are arrogant, they are occasionally vulnerable, and the key is "never make peace with the world."
"Not shaking hands with the world to make peace" is actually a very high psychological quality. When you are young, you need to read more to enlighten you into the adult world. When you were in junior high school, many people read Baby Annie's book, which is a bit like a little yellow book for girls, and also read Han Han, who likes tough words. A little bit of truth after the sentence. I feel that I have followed the vines of this book with a similar style of Ben Ming, to peep, imitate, and imagine how cold, harsh and avant-garde they are writing these words. I can't understand the time and abuse of needles, but at least I am happy. In the face of the emotional catharsis in the text, I squeezed my tears and pretended to understand. I thought the writers of that group were cold and impulsive.
It turned out that what I admired at that time was precisely this kind of outspoken impulse, regardless of value orientation. It also allows the characters of the story to make mistakes.
Although I will never read them again. But hopefully they are still what I remember from my youth. Social networks are sometimes a bad thing, and knowing the author is finally no longer through the work itself. I saw that Baby Anne changed her pen name to Qingshan, the original author of "July and Ansheng", gave lectures in various colleges and universities, studied Zen and enlightened Taoism, and shook hands with the world. Disappointed, maybe my requirements are too high, I thought I could hide in the city, ready to go out and fight at any time, but in fact, they are all under the hood of picking chrysanthemums.
Those who once gave our youth a stab of blood are all fathers and mothers, big bellies, and live a good life every day. Therefore, we cherish the hot-blooded teenagers in film and television works more and more, and hope that they can still talk about and pretend to be a perfect force in the face of a lot of inquiries.
And it just so happens that the roles played by Cuan Fu contain all of our expectations.
"We all want to hear the twists and turns behind the prodigal son.
And I really don't know, for those who are going through,
In the end it should be saddened, or angry. 』
New drama "Melrose"
Yesterday (5.21) night, I opened "Melrose", which only started airing on May 12. Two episodes have been updated so far. After watching it, I wrote the following content under the memo. At four in the morning, I was still very awake.
In "Melrose," Crawford plays Patrick Melrose, whose father is David Melrose.
At the beginning of the first episode, Patrick got a call that his father had died and he was dancing with joy. In the days when he was hesitating whether to take his father's ashes, and when he didn't know where to go with the ashes, he kept recalling various memories of his father when he was a child.
The father became a composer against the wishes of his grandfather, who wanted him to be a doctor, and his grandfather left him with no son, and his mother came from one of the richest families in America, with many new industries to his name. . But in this family, the mother kept humiliating her father. There was one thing in the play. The mother just mentioned that the figs were rotted on the ground, but there are still many people in this world who are starving. At this time, the father asked her to lie down. On the ground, the figs were eaten one by one, and the mother did. It sounds a bit incredible, like a little bit of SM feeling, like the exposure and exaggeration of animalism in love, one is willing to fight and the other is willing to suffer, this kind of willingness is unreasonable. And the one who is willing to suffer will fuel this arrogance.
The father applied this nonsense method to his son Patrick rightly. Patrick smashed the glass and scratched his fingers, but he didn't dare to say a word, afraid of being beaten; just stepping on two figs on the ground made David angry, and Patrick asked "Can you tell me what I did wrong", David Just replied "I don't ask you to thank me now, but I want you to thank me later." Father closed the door, sexually assaulted Patrick incessantly, and threatened him in the middle of the night "If you dare to tell you Mother, I will tear you apart."
It's not that my mother never thought about running away, but every day, David numbs her with a kind of mental control method for Patrick's good; and all the guests who come here will take care of them before entering the door, "Don't make trouble. Hygiene."
Against such a background, Cuan Fu plays a drug addict who can't get out of the shadow of childhood as an adult. When Patrick is addicted to drugs, it's hard not to think of the detective Sherlock, and his performance can be described as incisive. Every time he threw something, it made me feel like my bad past was shattered along with it. But when he wakes up, he reassures himself that "the sun will rise as usual."
He hated his father's appearance, and he clearly understood that "cruelty is the opposite of love, not another expression of love." But when he talked to others, he always said the exact same words as his father, who had taken for granted It was said that "with the help of my wife's money, I don't have to do those futile efforts", and so did Patrick, who was as profligate as his father, and he didn't need to make any effort to make a living.
I hope everyone who watches the drama can think of their childhood. and look carefully.
In every pair of parents, there is always a black face and a red face. But in my family, a typical centralized autocratic system is implemented, and my father is always politically correct.
My memory of my father when I was quite young is not what he said over and over again when I had a high fever and got cramps and he ran to the hospital in a pair of long johns, nor did he bring it to me every time he came back from Shanghai to live in kindergarten. What a high-level gift, not to mention the preserved egg and lean meat porridge that he made with his own hands.
My memory of him stuck with every time he hit me.
During the interview from kindergarten to primary school, I miscalculated a math question. After going home and thinking about it for three hours, I was beaten by the belt when I was naked. At that time, I knew very well that people are born at a very young age. Being gender-conscious, it's easy to let a girl go naked and feel a strong sense of shame. I remember that it was my mother who broke the door and rescued me. I clearly understood what was upstairs. They will look at me in what way, contemptuous, joking. I don't even think that the belt hurts so much, I only have one thought in my mind, please let me put on my shirt, I feel ashamed in front of everyone's eyes, and feel that every day in the future, everyone around me will wear colored clothes. glasses.
I remember a few days later he pretended to be kind and asked me if it hurt. When he said that he was in more pain, I tried to cater to him out of fear. I said, "I know you hit me for my own good."
I don't know if you still remember your first lie, but I think it's the lie that impressed me the most. And I realize that this will be with me for a long time in the future, dark and distant.
This kind of thing happens from time to time, when I am older, primary school, middle school. He quarreled with his mother over work and emotional matters. When he was in a rage, he shouted, "Look what kind of daughter you have raised." The reason for deducting two points for the language composition. They kept arguing and I just knelt outside and they forgot about me. I didn't move. It was winter. I was wearing thin long clothes and long pants. I just sat on the floor all night without moving. I didn't dare to even close my eyes. When I think about it now, I feel broken, why was I so afraid of him at that time. But I live with trepidation every day because of the so-called "for your own good" and "strict teachers produce outstanding students". I knew he was wrong, but there was no other way but to obey, and that was the only way to help me defend against being beaten.
When I was in high school, I had a tumor in my breast. I was very scared at the time. Although the final test result was benign, there was no trouble after the removal. But the pain was really unbearable for several days after the anesthesia. I found friends to accompany me in the hospital, and some of them brought fruits and flowers as a courtesy. I remember that he never showed up in the ward from the surgery until he was discharged from the hospital, but when he was discharged from the hospital, he was sitting in the car waiting for my mother and I to get off. My classmate's mother saw him and asked him, "Dad Cheng Cheng, You are so busy, and your daughter's surgery didn't come."
I didn't know that this sentence would actually irritate him. First, he found fault with me for a few days. I don't know why he forced a man with gauze around his chest that hurts even when lying down. He must read and study every day. scolded. One day he finally couldn't take it anymore, smashed a lot of things, and asked me in the middle of the night, why do I need a friend to accompany me? Is it a big deal to have an operation? Don't you know what a debt is?
Later, I was very sensitive to the three words "renqing debt", and felt that in this world there is no merit and no reward, and all good things should be exchanges of courtesy. And sometimes, it feels presumptuous and intrusive to suddenly find a friend to accompany me for dinner.
In the days when I was controlled by my father, I wanted to be invisible at home. I didn't dare to look at him when we were eating together, and I didn't dare to stay in a public area like the living room for a long time. They didn't miss out, they always had their reasons.
I secretly gave him various nicknames, calling him "tyrant" and "old man"; I wrote him down in my diary, used all kinds of vicious curses, and slashed all kinds of crosses; Never see him, and pray every day that he will divorce his mother soon.
But at one point, he was so pissed that he disappeared for a week. A few days ago, I was so happy that I turned on computer games and watched idol dramas while eating potato chips. But I don't know why there was a late night, I just had a little thought that he would never come back, and I started to cry.
I have imagined that if I become a parent one day, I am afraid that I will not be able to be kind, and I will use all the sarcasm for stupid mistakes, and I will be full of contempt and disdain for ignorance and emptiness. And will never be convinced, that disgusting little thing will one day be much more powerful than me. But we know that family love is sometimes a matter of living. We try our best to maintain the surface temperature and affinity. In the end, what kind of person you want to become and what kind of father you want to become is your own business.
When I watched Melrose, I just wanted to go back to my childhood, grow up with him again, and tell myself that in those times of unwillingness, I should show double courage to resist.
Promise me, just this time,
Your life is not a replica of your father.
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