It took me almost two months to watch the show "Ferry's Crazy Diary". In the third season of the finale, she swallowed a whole bottle of medicine and immersed herself in water to die. Suddenly, Finn pushed in the door and fished her out. Get up, I thought to myself, it's good that I'm not dead. The scene is replayed later, and she is frustrated and picks up the medicine bottle but doesn't swallow the whole bottle, just takes the amount she should take, and then closes the lid without burying her head in the bathtub. Everything is fantasy. She saved herself, no one else.
She does a lot of stupid things, and every time I feel suffocated across the screen, for her and myself, why should I do this? It's not good to be more frank and confident. I thought about it countless times. Her self-inflicted wound distracted Chloe from driving and got into a car accident before her big exam. And it's all because of the chain reaction that happened when she concealed her acceptance of college admissions and was debunked. Countless times I felt that this person was really a jerk, who could make a more reasonable and sensible choice, so why did he screw it up step by step?
At the beginning of the play, she was chatting with patients in the toilet of the mental hospital. She didn't want to be discharged from the hospital, and she didn't want to go back to the original world. After counting to 10, she braved the fear of suffocation and got into the car home. At the end of the play, she took the train to leave the town where she lived for a long time to go to university in the city. The song "creep" sounded, surrounded by phantoms of people who loved her, and everyone laughed.
I've seen some youth school dramas, and this one has the most gloomy tone, which most people shouldn't be able to tolerate. The tall and fat Rea has psychological problems. She will self-mutilate. In the play, she has thought about suicide many times. As a single-parent family, the birthday cards she receives every year from her father are forged by her mother. She has the most conspicuous beautiful friends in the crowd. , and the most exciting teenage sexual fantasies that never came to fruition.
She is like some kind of stuffed toy with sharp thorns, it looks sharp, but it is too fragile to withstand a little heavy pressure, it seems to be easily broken, but it will bounce when it is pressed. In the play, she is loved by Finn because he thinks she is brave, but she doesn't think of herself so much. She is the one who will go to the psychologist when she encounters setbacks, and even when the other party thinks she no longer needs counseling, she There will be a feeling of being abandoned.
I also think she is very brave, her life is a mess, she screwed up all the problems, she feels sorry for herself in the predicament that no one loves her, and laments why it is so difficult to live, but she chooses love at every moment of collapse With sincerity, even if it is not present, it has always found a less bad ending. That's being brave, that's all.
This is not a story of a fat man losing weight and falling in love with a handsome guy, or that a handsome guy will fall in love with you no matter how ugly you are. In the past three seasons, you will have a lot of judgments about her, and you will probably also come to "being refined", "don't lose weight even if you die of fat", "what's the point of this kind of person being photographed", "if I were her, I wouldn't I should have flashed these words in my heart. When the episode ended, I realized that the discomfort and anxiety reflected in it were all parts of me that I couldn't accept myself.
Watching the show from the perspective of God will always have the feeling of wanting to preach, and the moment when you empathize with other people's lives across the screen, you are substituting your own regrets. There are countless sentences in my heart that say "if it's not what it will be" and I can't say it, but I don't want to pretend to be a normal person anymore. Those gloomy moods, abnormal behaviors, constant low self-esteem and cowardice never disappeared from me, they were covered up and wrapped in broad daylight that tried not to get out of control.
All "ifs" are correct answers, you must love yourself, have a strong self, and accept yourself, because you have the courage to understand your worth and accept yourself, and you are not afraid of judgment because you know that you are who you should be Some of the best looks. Those that don't have an "if" and everything that gets screwed is the opposite of all of the above.
What Fei Rui has experienced is that without "if", she is loved but can't feel the importance of being loved and the preciousness of being loved. She is very cowardly and always wants to back down. She is sharp and reckless. Self-centered, she believes that she is the most pitiful person in the world, she feels that being ill will only hurt others, and she feels that she is not worthy of good people and things.
From season one to season three, she changed a lot. The story starts from being discharged from the hospital, the eyes turn to her going into a normal life with fear, you will be nervous all the time, because Fei Rui's eyes are very nervous, and everything in life may trouble her and may be screwed up.
But when all the stories are over and her life comes to an end and she leaves the world of Fei Rui, she will gain courage. At my age, I don't need anyone to perform inspirational turnarounds in difficult situations, because I probably know who I am, and it is difficult to get out of the so-called comfort zone, not to mention the kind of full spin that is similar to Thomas. A big move, afraid of stretching the muscles.
What was impressed was that the screenwriter and director created a world that was relatively close to the real world, in which Fei Rui and the people around her were placed, the events she was going to experience, and the reactions she would have preset. No more explanations and sermons, no more perspectives to intervene, and you'll understand when you walk into this kind of crazy, out-of-control, hilarious show with Ferris. What is real embarrassment, heartbreak, jealousy, frustration, misunderstanding, and understand how to go through all of this as a real human being, and ask yourself, what would you do if it was you?
Fei Rui's story is not a cool story. There is a scene in the play where she fantasizes that she takes off her thick and bloated human skin jacket, and the moment the zipper is drawn, the fat leaves her. But in this drama, when I see this, I can only feel her disgust for her body shape, and the extreme mood that is eager to get rid of it is instantly broken down by the anxiety of not being able to accept her own body. Watching this drama, the tragic drama of complaining and selling misery, there is no black and white human nature opposition, and all the great enlightenment does not exist, it makes you uncomfortable, unhappy, not sweet, and embarrassed.
But you won't forget the show and the people in it. They seem to be alive once in this world. Not only Fei Rui, but also other people. The beautiful Chloe thinks that she is not worthy of a good boy and chooses to indulge. Archie, who vaguely understands her sexual orientation, interacts with girls in order to hide all this. Stand by while others bully Archie.
I sometimes get impatient with things that are too beautiful and warm, as if everyone is flawless, and after a long time there will be a hazy feeling of seeing the world through soap bubbles. But the people in the play are not so politically correct. They will do wrong because of their ignorance, selfishness and cowardice, but whether it is due to external forces or themselves, fortunately, they are kind and wise enough, and they finally understand what is important and precious. Chop spoke harshly to the people who bullied Archie, Chloe broke away from bad boys, and Archie found a good boy to complete his first time before going to college.
Without "if" growth, I feel that the whole world is good, only I am a rotten person, unable to change, and I don't even know how to do it. But if you look at too many other people, it can be hard to notice what you want. And if you really tried it, you couldn’t change it, or if you didn’t even try it, you just said you couldn’t. The most important thing is, why should you first decide that you don't deserve better, and who are you anxious to make room for? Applying the most human-like phrase "Focus on oneself" in the fan circle has all been solved.
Feeling the pain of others and understanding one's own shortcomings is never a fragile behavior, but when you are alive, you realize that your struggle is not special, nor is it shameful. Under the resonance of being penetrated, what you feel is The tenderness of being cared for and the firmness of struggling to grow. Thank you "Ferry's Crazy Diary".
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